My Tourniquet

"I tried to kill my pain," sang Amy. "But only brought more.

I lay dying, and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

. I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God my tourniquet Return to me salvation

My God my tourniquet Return to me salvation

"That was the way my mind was working as the blood poured out of me. Too late I came to my senses and realized how stupid it was of me to kill myself for something that Cheryl had done. I wasn't the one at fault, she was. It just seemed like a colossal cosmic joke. And asking God for salvation, when I'd just committed suicide, which was a sin, had to be the punch line.

I flailed my arms trying to find something to tie off the veins or use as a real tourniquet, but with the loss of blood my control over my limbs was already marginal. What I really needed then and I guess I still need, is a tourniquet that could somehow stop the bleeding from my heart.

I wasn't very sure of what I was seeing. My sight appeared to be dimming. That was when it happened and I'm not totally sure that I wasn't imagining it.

The door that I had locked opened with a wrenching sound. I later found out that the lock had simply been shattered by her overpowering it. She walked into the room and again I couldn't tell if she was real or imagined. Perhaps she was an angel.

She was short, almost tiny but her breasts were generous. Sorry ladies, but I'm still a guy and that's one of the things we notice. Anyway, she had this curtain of long red hair and a slight French accent. I say slight because it was still there but you got the idea that she hadn't spoken French in a very long time so the accent was nearly gone from lack of practice.

"Such a waste," she said, looking at me. She picked up my forgotten note and read it. "And all over a truly stupid woman. I may as well use the blood." She picked up my wrist and lapped at my blood and I reflexively tried to yank my arm back.

"Relax," she said. "This will make your death less painful and far quicker."

"No," I mumbled. "Wanna live..."

"How much?" she asked curiously.

"Lots," I mumbled. Then with my last breath I spat. "Wanna kill that bitch or take her with me."

"Well in that case let's see what I can do," she said. "I'm not a doctor, so I can't save you. But I can give you the ability to do what you want. I'm only doing this because I'm kind of big on revenge myself. You may come to hate me for this. But remember, you asked for it."

She lifted my torso and sank her fangs into my neck then, instead of lapping at my wrist. It hurt like hell, but at the same time lying there wrapped in her arms, I was in heaven. Then she took my knife and cut her own wrist and pressed it to my mouth.

"If you want to live, you have to taste my blood," she said. I started to suck at her arm and it tasted awful. I started to spit it out but stopped. I took another pull on her arm, then another and another. Suddenly, I felt as if I would throw up. I don't mean just the contents of my stomach. I meant everything. I felt like I wanted to expel my internal organs.

I lay there feeling as if I was still dying. She stood up and looked down at me.

"My name is Maria Victoria St. Germaine," she said. "Avoid the sun. Good luck with your revenge. I hope you have better luck finding it than I have."

And then she was gone as if she'd never been there. I felt better, but very weak. I just blacked out. I awoke several hours later, feeling as if I was on fire. I panicked at first and tried to dunk my burning hand in a sink full of water. Then I remembered her words," Avoid the sun." I closed the drapes and that made it better somewhat. I grabbed all of the blankets off of the bed and put out the do not disturb sign. Then I dove under the bed and covered myself with all of the blankets. After a few moments, even though I'd only been awake for less than ten minutes, I felt my body stiffening and I couldn't do anything about it.

Unlike what a lot of people believe, vampires don't simply sleep during the daylight hours. We die every morning. I gradually learned to deal with my new uhm...status and the rest is history.

For a few moments there was nothing but silence. Piety did squeeze me yet again. She acted as if she wanted to hug me to take all of my pain again. I covered the mic on my headset so that only she could hear me. "It's only memories," I lied. "I got over it all a long time ago."

We heard Patience over the headset. "Mason, did you say Maria Victoria St. Germaine?" she asked.

"Yes Ma'am...er...Yes Sister Patience," I said. Even without seeing them I got the feeling that the three of them were having one of those moments where they did the speaking without words thing.

"Stay in contact," said Patience.

Piety and I started walking the streets in our assigned area. We gave up the bike because it was too noisy and too noticeable. We tried to melt as much as possible into the shadows. It wasn't very easy to do when the woman you're walking around with is dressed in yellow leather from head to toe.

"So what made you become a..." I began.

"A nun," she giggled. The giggle endeared her to me even more. I was beginning to feel that something might be happening between the two of us and it scared me. I hadn't felt fear in a long time.

I never got a chance to consider or explore the feeling though because Patience's voice intruded again. "We're in front of the old convent. We've seen him. Get here as quickly as possible."

In less time than it takes to tell about it, we were back on the bike and moving fast. I had grabbed Piety's hand and dragged her along. She was faster than a normal woman but had nowhere near my speed. I worried at first about hurting her although I was sure she'd understand that it was an emergency.

"Sorry," I said once we were on the bike and moving.

"For what?" she asked above the sound of the bike.

"You know for grabbing your hand and dragging you behind me," I said.

"No problem," she said. I think people forget how sharp my senses are. Because she stopped talking out loud, but under her breath she said, "I liked it."

It took us three minutes and several fractured traffic laws, but we got there. "Patience, where are you?" Piety asked.

"Patience...?" she asked again.

"Northwest corner," said a deep voice that seemed to be in pain. We took off running and found Penance just getting to her feet. She looked around and found her pole mace and used it to help her stand.

"He took her!" she grumbled. She looked at me. "He's not like you. He's like the other one. I don't even think he's capable of speech. He's a monster. I'm going to kill him."

"You two stay together," I spat. "Watch out for each other. I can find him quicker if I'm alone." I didn't wait to see what they thought I just took off.

Once I got away from them, I stopped. I opened all of my senses. I listened as hard as I could and I took in a deep breath. I sharpened my eyesight as well. The first thing I smelled was old blood mixed with a foul animalistic odor. Then I heard a heartbeat it was only slightly raised. I praised Patience for her calmness and bravery. But that had to be at least one of the reasons why they selected these women.

The blood I smelled wasn't fresh so that gave me the impression that Patience wasn't hurt. I started to track them and within a block I realized that he was tracking something himself and dragging Patience along for the ride.

He may not have been able to talk. But he was at least as smart as we are. Perhaps cunning was a better word. It was obvious after a few moments that he was tracking Piety and Penance. When they had seen them the previous evening, he had obviously seen them as well. Their distinctive leather garb may have been protective, but in this case, it made them too easy to track.

I sped up my pursuit, moving literally faster than I ever had in life or un-death. I flashed through the area so fast it probably appeared as if my feet didn't touch the ground. I didn't care whether or not anyone saw me. I could always relocate, but I had to get there before anything happened.

As soon as I hit the clearing where he'd cornered them, it began to make sense. Patience wasn't being dragged along, she was knocked out. Her body had been dumped on the ground near where the creature stood. And hell yeah I called him a creature. That thing, though a vampire was as different from me as a Neanderthal is from a modern day man.

He was huge and hulking. He smelled like a blood-covered garbage dump and his fangs stuck way out, extending past his lips. There was nothing in his eyes except hatred and anger. He grunted as he advanced on Piety and the still dazed Penance.

Only my arrival had given him pause. I looked and saw that Patience was still breathing and starting to get her wits back.

The creature looked at me and smiled. In a surprising turnabout that astounded all of us about his capabilities. "Feed," he said to me in a very deep, very bestial voice. And he nodded his head.

Penance looked at me as if I'd betrayed her. Running true to form she screamed, "It's fine. I'll just kill both of you." And she attacked the creature.

She rushed at him and raised the long mace for an attack. The creature countered her charge with one of his own, extending his arms as they made contact. He hit Penance so hard that she flew backwards and did a half flip, landing on her upper back several yards away. A smaller thinner woman would have snapped her back or neck the way she landed but Penance was just dazed again. Even as she landed, she began trying to rise again. I had to give her credit for persistence if not for smarts.

Piety took that chance to thrust her rapier into his abdomen. If he'd been a normal human he'd have been badly wounded. But the creature simply sneered at her and slapped at her arm that was still holding the sword as she tried to pull it free of the wound for another strike. I heard her Humerus bone snap and her yelp in pain. I started moving in. I knew I had to intervene or things wouldn't end well.

"Penance, now!" I yelled. The creature turned snatching the sword that was still in his belly from Piety's now useless hand. He pulled the sword from his own gut and the wound began to heal instantly. He was wary of me as I moved towards him.

Then Penance swung her pole mace so hard against his head, as he eyed me, that it shattered the bones in his face and skull. Unbelievably the creature's head puffed back out and he started to heal, roaring and screaming in the process. With unbelievable bravery, Piety drew a dagger from her belt and plunged it into the creature's chest with her remaining good hand.

"Die foul creature," she yelled. He just growled as He looked at her, his face was becoming less distorted by the second.

"You missed his heart," yelled Penance.

"Not this time," yelled Piety. I was almost on them as she pressed a button on the dagger and two smaller blades popped out. Piety pressed the dagger even deeper and the creature howled in pain.

"Die, fucker," screamed Penance. The vampire started reaching for Piety and grabbed for her throat just as I reached them.

"Why isn't he dead? She staked him with her dagger," yelled Penance.

"It's not wood," yelled Patience weakly.

"The huge vampire's clutching fingers had barely grazed Piety's neck as I struck. Even I have to admit that there was no honor in what I did. And I struck from behind while he was preoccupied. But facing a choice between the creature and Piety, I had no choice.

Though I'm probably not as strong as that creature was, I am far stronger than any human, enhanced or not. I plunged my clawed hand through the creature's back, smashing it through his rib cage. I grabbed his heart and forced it against his ribs in the front and out through his chest. Even Penance grimaced as I held the creature's still beating heart in my hand in front of her and Piety. I pulled my bloody arm free as the creature dropped dead to the street on front of us. I dropped the heart on the ground, where Penance stomped on it several times. "I told you I'd kill you," she sneered. Then she spat on the body and pumped her fist in the air several times.

"Uh Penance," said Patience weakly.

"Huh?" said Penance stopping her war dance that looked strangely like Miley Cyrus trying to twerk.

"YOU didn't exactly kill him," said Patience coming over to us.

"Buzz kill," grumbled Penance. Then she looked at me. "Okay, you helped a tiny bit. Thanks for the assist. But since I hit him three times and you only hit him once, I get credit for the kill."

"Penance, the first time you hit him, you hit his fist with your head," said Piety.

"Still counts," spat Penance.

"But the second time you hit his arms with your boobs and you flew backwards about ten feet," argued Piety.

"Still counts," said Penance. "Then I smashed his head with my mace."

"He recovered from that," said Piety.

"That was cheating. He should have died so that doesn't count. I can't help it if foul supernatural creatures are too stupid to know when they're dead and..." penance paused and looked at me. "No offense meant..."

"None taken," I said. Penance continued arguing with Piety then. Patience pulled out a phone and called for someone to come to the area. In less than five minutes several vehicles including two New Orleans police cars pulled up.

"Mason, you should probably go," said Patience.

"Whoah Nelly," said Penance. "We can't just let him walk, he's..."

"Orders from the top," said Patience.

"But why?" whined Penance.

"Penance, do you really want to kill him?" asked Piety. "He saved all of us. I think he's at least earned a head start."

"No head start," said Patience. "No record of him being here will ever be mentioned. Mason doesn't exist. No one will ever hear of him from any of us."

"That's bullshit," screamed Penance. "What are you trying to pull Patience?"

"It's not me," said Patience. "It has something to do with the vampire that turned him. It's way above my pay grade."

"You get paid?" screamed Penance. She started arguing with Patience just as I turned to walk away. Before I left I saw Piety smile and wave.

We all believed that night, that we had destroyed the face of evil in New Orleans, but we were wrong. Across the field very close to where we stood, a vampire in a ratty old coat and hat carrying a walking stick watched us with a perturbed look on his face. "That's two of my children that the Leather Nuns have taken," he thought. "Perhaps there need to be a reckoning before they threaten ME."

Back at my apartment, I laughed. In a way I was glad that nothing had come of things between us. After all, it made no sense. She IS a nun. And I AM a vampire. And never the twain shall meet. But I swear there had been something. There had been something between us that started me feeling things that I hadn't in over thirty years. And as glad as I was that nothing had come of it. My world was a bit sadder just the same. I died again that morning as every other, but this time I died with her face on my mind for a second time.

The next evening I tried to put it all behind me. I needed to get on with my life but I knew it was going to take some time this time. And I wasn't quoting Karen Carpenter. Somehow that pretty little nun had invaded my long dead heart and she didn't seem to want to let go.

There were several things going around in what I loosely call my mind that evening. I wondered whether or not I should feel any guilt over killing one of my own kind? I also wondered again how I had come to take the life of any kind of being. The fact that my maker was still out there was also weighing heavily on me and Patience seemed to know something of her. In fact my connection with her had somehow made the church leave me alone.

But the thing that I needed out of my head the most was undoubtedly the face of a pretty young nun that by all rights I should never see again.

As I skipped down the stairs of my apartment building, I walked right past my bike and to the garage next door. I owned the apartment building. Thirty years of saving and investing had its benefits. One press of the fob in my pocket and the electric garage door opened on well oiled tracks. I had told Piety about how I was almost on the team that redesigned the Mustang back in 79. I guess it hadn't seemed appropriate to mention that I owned a few of them. It took me a few years to get over the hurt of not being on that team, so I didn't buy one until 1986. But my coffin black 1986 5.0 mustang GT with over sized street slicks and a Hurst shifter is still one of my favorite cars. It has side exhausts and the last time I redid the engine I put in fuel injection to replace my Holly Carbs. The car still makes a hellish noise when I put my foot to it. I have to be careful because she makes so much torque that I swear I can stand that front end up if I try.

It just seemed like a good night for the car. I really thought about calling in. It had been years since I'd missed a night of work. I was even there during the hurricane, helping out as much as I could.

I decided against calling in because I figured that being around people, especially being around people who were hurting just as much or even more than I was, would be good for me.

As drove into the parking lot near where I usually parked my bike, I saw her and my heart jumped. If I wasn't sure that it didn't beat, I'd have sworn that it was beating faster.

"Where's the bike?" she asked. I noticed the cast she had over her broken arm and that it was in a sling.

"It just seemed like a night to go for a drive, when I get off," I said. "Why are you here?" she tilted her head and looked at me with a half smile playing at her lips.

"We need to talk," she said. My stomach dropped to my knees. I remembered back when I was human and Cheryl said that. I always hated it when she used that phrase.

"You're going to wait until almost morning to talk to me?" I asked.

"I would, but in this case I don't have to," she said. "You have the night off."

"But how did...?" I began.

"Come on Mason," she smiled. "You work for a hospital that was started by nuns. Is it really that big of a stretch to figure it out?"

She got into the car beside me and her hand found mine. "Piety, what are you doing?" I asked.

She just looked at me. "Mason, you know that you like me," she said.

"But you're a nun," I said. "The world needs you. And I'm just..."

"So what," she said. "I can always quit. The woman I replaced did just that. She pretended to have been tainted by a powerful vampire, just so she could retire. She married a really nice guy and they're going to have a baby. She has a real life now and a beautiful house of her own. She doesn't live out of a suitcase and travel to places all over the world just to meet things that want to kill her. I'm twenty four, excuse my language, but I'm twenty four God damned years old and you're the first man to actually tell me that I'm pretty." She was working herself into a tizzy.

"I knew from the second that we started talking that you were different. I had already told them that you didn't seem like a killer, even if you were a vampire. I knew that you..."

"Piety, you're wrong. I am a killer. I've sworn that I'll never do it again, but I have killed and now I've done it again. And there are things that are worse than killing too. Maybe you don't know me as well as you think," I said.