All Comments on 'My Wife had a Night to Remember!'

First time stories are about the ending of virginity.

Has his wife never had sex?

Does this story prove the idea that cuckolds are gay and their 'wives' are their beards?

As far as the writing this whole story is telling when it should be showing.

Must have misinterpreted the meaning of first time. I was referring to the first time being shared. Apologies for my mistake.

Especially to some big dicked stud wannabe that has more money than Hubby? Isn't this a recipe for disaster? What kind of idiot does that? When his wife realizes that her husband can't satisfy her, that her new lover has more money won't she divorce her husband? What happens when she gets pregnant or catches some nasty disease? Neither man will want her. There's simply nothing erotic, sexy or smart about this story line. It's not fun to read. Simply awful story telling.

1 star

Bad story and worst writting...1*

Okay, it’s your first try and you deserve something for having the nerve to jump into the Loving Wives Pool right off the bat. We all have to learn and the way some readers are responding to authors, I think we’ll soon need as many new writers as we can get, so welcome to the gang.

You haven’t asked for help, but you surely need it, so I’m going to point out a few things. Remember, all advice is worth EXACTLY what it will cost you.

Tw0Cr0ws has a point when he says you should show rather than tell the story—trouble is—a new writer, who told the story, might not know what the heck it means to show. Study one of the best sellers; notice how the author can pull you right into the story. They have many ways to show the action, but as a beginner, maybe just making use of dialogue with punctuation will be a good place to start.

Go to paragraph #15 or 16, where Hubby’s cock is throbbing, his heart is pounding and he’s getting a drink. How would something like this work?

@ My hand shook as I tried to bring the drink to my mouth. Little beads of sweat was popping out on my forehead, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my heart pounded in my chest so hard I convinced myself I was actually hearing it. I was finally getting my dream—I was going to get to watch my wife fuck another man. And surprise, surprise! My cock was throbbing like it never had before. I took another swig of wine, hoping to settle my nerves before I followed my wife and her new Bull.

“Looks like your fantasy is about to come true,” my friend said, with a wink, as he topped off my glass.

“Yeah, I think it is.”

“Worried?”

“Nawh, not really. She likes a real ‘take charge’ man, so they’ll get along fine.”

There are hundreds of writers on this site that could give you much better guidance on the ‘show-don’t tell’ subject, but not too many will, probably because of the ridiculing comments that will be made by a few wise-asses, who seem to be following the lead of the political left. The left responds to loosing elections by trying to destroy anyone who disagrees with them, and a few on LW follow in their footsteps.

@You got better as you went along, but those short, choppy sentences, that you started with, really hurts. Put them together, and you’ll sound more professional. You want your paragraphs to be ‘not too long-not too short.’

Study the writers resources here in Lit. They are a wealth of info. GOOD LUCK! cd

Never could put my finger on what's so irritating about you. Now I know. You're a right wing nut who can't stand it when others don't believe what you do. By the way this is a porn site, not a political forum. Remember that ass wipe. Now you can complain all about the anonymous pricks who complain about shit stories like this.

Stop giving writing advice. You're not that fucking good at it yourself.Learn how to write yourself, before giving others advice, but then you right wingers seem to know it all, don't you?

The only wise ass on this site seems to be you. You complain constantly about other readers. You Trumpsters think you're the only ones with an opinion worthy of notice. Well I got news for you, all your bashing isn't going to make one bit of difference in the comment section. Go back to the swamps you crawled out of and leave the writing to those that know how to do it. Author pay no attention to this idiot. Go find yourself a good editor, available free of charge to anybody that needs help.

I really enjoyed it and to hell with all the negative ass holes - especially 'impo shit head'. 5*

for the carolinaDUMBCUCKFAG.

Anonymous, despite your criticism of CD "Stop giving writing advice. You're not that fucking good at it yourself.Learn how to write yourself, before giving others advice," Maybe you should take your own advice. Stop telling him to learn how to write and learn how to write yourself.

I have yet to see you either give good advice or submit a story for others to criticise.

CD tries to help new authors. He analyses the writing and makes helpful comments.

Could you classify yourself as a helpful person? Maybe take the old bloke (at 77 he's even got three years on me) as a role model while you've got the chance and before he drops off the twig.

Lue

I can appreciate your comment luedon, but I don't see the author soliciting writing advice from anybody. Maybe you're not aware of it, but this site has numerous editors available to any new writer. Why does "carolinadreamer" take it upon himself to be the literary expert in loving wives? Lately he's making it a habit to attack another US political party, apparently insulting to some, given the feedback. Politics, in my opinion, has no place on a porn site. The subject is highly inflaming giving the current turmoil in this country. You want to pick a fight over politics, I guarantee you'll get one. Opinions are like an asshole, everybody has one. Leave it at that.

My question to you is, why give unasked advice in a public forum? Use the private e-mail feature for that.

Sorry can't comment on story, didn't read it. (signed ML)

Why would someones political beliefs have anything to do with their erotic writing?

It seems to me that anyone who feels that he has to criticize an authors work with a political rant must have some sort of obssesive/compulsive disorder. Just let it go.

This is an example of the crappola on this site! Sorry but it is a - 5 for me.

Bubba

I loved the directness and raw passion that brought your story to life. I can easily see myself enjoying such a dominant sexual experience with a powerful man if my husband approved. Moreover, take CD's advice and appreciate his astute and accurate comment regarding liberal losers. 5 stars for you. BTW, you can delete offensive comments. Do it.

To short. What happens next? any direction is ok except leaving it there.

Would have been any sane man's last vision of her EVER!!!!!

Five stars from me too. My fantasy is to see my wife be taken by a well hung guy, preferably by a young man. She is 67 and I have always fantasized of her being fuck by a young man between 18 and 25 while I watched. She is a hot woman and loves to fuck. Any young men interested?

I also want this for my new wife , I am sure this is something she would love, I whatched it happen to my first wife so now how much it changed her and did wonders for me.

if you can help please let me know .

I made a similar arrangement for my wife to be seduced and fucked by a not rich, yet a strong willed man known as a bull to cuckolds. He worked his seductive skill on her at a party I was instructed to bring her to. I did not get to watch his seduction and her fucking and that time but he assumed sexual control over her and turned me into a cuckold so I did get to watch him seeding her on a few occasions later on. I was totally in awe of how quickly he turned my relatively innocent wife into his devoted sex slave.

that is so nice to do for the wi