Naked Pizza

I wash down my third slice of pizza, watching that part of Avatar where they are flying a helicopter through floating islands in the sky. It's a bit like my life, I think to myself. Navigating uncharted skies with no compass or instruments. Making my own direction. I've had to, my Mother died when I was very young, I hardly remember her and my father well...

"Hey Jen, I have another layer. I'm not sure if it counts but... you know."

"You want a drink first, was gonna fix one for myself."

"Maybe just a beer hey?"

She returns with fresh drinks, a beer for me and another long tall green dragon and lemonade for her. She folds her legs underneath her and absently fondles my dick as she watches the movie. I harden under her cool fingers and enjoy the dry tickly friction of her smooth hands on my shaft.

I drink the neck out of my lager and she's watching me instead of the movie. It's a little freaky. "What?"

"You had a layer to give me."

"Oh yeah, So..." I try to get my train of thought back from her fingers and my dick but it's not so easy.

"Yup, you know how Mum died right. I was only six or seven then."

"Cancer is poo."

"Yup... Dad and I hit the road. He towed a caravan around the state looking for labouring work. He'd never held a real steady job because Mum had a good income and he could hold out for well-paying contracts up till then."

I take another sip of beer trying to plot a path through my tale. Her hand has stopped stroking and now holds my dick like a parent holds a child's hand, with warmth and security even if it is my penis.

"So, one winter we were staying in a van park just outside of Southport. Dad had picked up work on a building site and enrolled me in school again for the first time in ages. We went into town one Saturday. They were my favourite day. All week I was at school and him at work till dark. It was lonely, but on weekends, we hung out. Saturdays, we'd go get a few groceries and have a wander around the shops. We'd talk about all the cool things we'd buy when we had a house again and tell big lies to each other about dreamed up things. At lunch we sat at tables in a KFC store and ate chips and chicken. These things were as close to family rituals as we'd come since Mum died."

She reaches for the remote and turns the volume down. It's an intimate gesture of interest that catches me off guard -- she's really listening. I watch her face for signs of mockery but her soft brown eyes are drinking from my face. Fuck I love her.

"Anyway, I finished lunch and needed to use the toilet. The toilets in the store were closed for cleaning so I told Dad I'd use the ones in the mall. I'd walked past them earlier and remembered they were next to the 'big W' store. He nodded and kept eating. I hurried because I was busting."

"When I came out, I was all turned around. I looked one way then the other and it all looked the same. I was a bit panicky but thought I remembered walking past the 'big W' checkouts so I went that direction but after a while nothing looked familiar and I went back the other way. Nothing seemed right and I couldn't find my way back."

"I must have walked in every direction I could think and I was getting even more confused and panicked, I couldn't even find my way back to the toilets or 'big W'. I found the exit and waited there thinking he would have to come out through the doors and would see me but then I remembered we came up from the underground parking. Maybe if I could find my way to the car? I went downstairs to the parking but it was so big and noisy. I walked up and down all the rows and couldn't find the car. By now I was crying and terrified. He was all I had left in the world."

"God! This is awful."

"A lady tried to help me but I wouldn't speak to her because she was a stranger; I remembered all the talks in school. She wanted to take me to the information desk but I wasn't leaving the car park. Dad would see me here if he went to leave. If I missed him and I lost Dad forever then I'd have nobody. Eventually I told her my Dad was in the KFC. She agreed to walk in front of me and I could follow her to the store. I did and it was just a little further down the way I had walked at first. I felt so stupid. I thanked the lady and went inside but he was gone."

"The table we were sitting at still had our empty boxes and drinks but there was no sign of him. All kinds of things went through my head. Perhaps he'd left without me. Maybe he'd been locked up -- he always spoke about money he owed people and the police catching up with him. I made up all sorts of horrible things in my head. All I knew was that he was gone too. My world was empty. I was completely alone. I cried and cried. You know that kid cry that comes from right down in your guts and wrings you out like a wet towel?"

I look at her and see tears in the corner of her eyes.

"What happened?"

"Well, some huge man, a guard or something picked me up. I beat him with my fists hard enough to blood his lip and he put me down but held on tight to my wrist and dragged me screaming to the information desk. All the time I thought he was taking me away to some home for bad kids. The one Dad threatened me with from time to time. Dad was waiting at the desk for me."

"He'd been searching for me the whole time, that's why he was gone from KFC. The same thing happens to hundreds of kids but for me back then it was the end of my world. Since Mum died, he was all I had and now he was gone. Perhaps it was getting me ready for the real thing. Dad died that year in the work accident. I went to live with Nan and Pop. I still woke up for years dreaming I was back in that shop lost and that if I could somehow get to the information desk I'd find Dad again."

"Arsehole."

"What? It's a layer."

"You made me cry you son of a bitch."

I shrug. I'm confused. I was wanting to share something. "I still have that dream now and then."

"Fuck. I bet that's why you're such a bloody control freak with maps and directions when we go anywhere. Why you're so loyal too."

"Maybe. Anyway, that's my thing. Why I don't like KFC and stuff."

She holds both sides of my face between her hands and kisses me fiercely on the mouth.

"I'm not leaving you. You're stuck with me. Don't panic when I'm a bitch sometimes or when you're an arsehole. I'm family. We're a unit. Got it? You're not alone in this world."

"I know."

She stands and fetches tissues from the kitchen. She's always been emotional. It's good. Sometimes she cries for me. When I can't do the tears, she does them. Before she sits, she peels off her undies and throws them toward the hall.

Snuggling her head into my neck and turning the movie volume back up she says, "No more depressing layers now okay. Happy ones only."

"I think we're out of layers to remove."

"We're out of clothes, not layers. I'm sure we've still got more."

It's quiet for a little while. I feel naked and vulnerable in a few different ways. Obviously, I am physically devoid of clothing, as is she, but having spilled two deeply held personal truths, my emotions are unguarded in a strangely liberating way. Like when you go for a physical and the doctor looks you up and down after you walk out from behind the screen and you wait for some sort of judgement. You've prepared yourself but it doesn't eventuate.

"So how about this?" she smiles and wipes the last bits of sniffle from her nose. "Something naughty for a layer..."

"Sounds good to me."

"Cool."

"Yup."

"No, it's cool dummy. Turn the heat up a little or fetch a blanket."

"I like you better without a blanket..."

"Pig."

I grab the remote and turn the air conditioner to 'heat'.

"Now go fetch my toys you mean bastard."

"What did I do?"

"Made me cry. You don't get away with that. Go. Fetch..." She gestures toward the bedroom.

I pout and throw a cushion at her as I stand. "Cry-baby."

"Wait, come back here... closer... closer... good."

I'm standing right in front of her and she leans forward sucking my flaccid dick into her mouth. Her fingers cup my balls and she sucks life into me. When she's satisfied I'm hard enough she pushes on my belly.

"Now fuck off. Bring back drinks and don't let that go down. It's my mood thermometer. I've set it to horny and don't want to see it fall back to morbid."

I half chuckle and fetch her little 'tool box' (seriously, it's a metal tool box we got from a hardware store to hold our sex toys -- seemed to make ironic sense at the time). There's more beer but I hate feeling bloated so grab a bottle of pinot noir and two glasses. When I return, she's started without me, slowly fingering herself. She's rolling wetness around her lips and over her clit in a lazy, distracted way while she watches Jake and Neytiri fuck under a glowing tree.

"Sit, this is hot."

I sit and poor drinks she takes hers from the coffee table and I can smell her pussy on her fingers as she raises it to her lips. I wonder how ones' pallet reacts to berry, pepper and pussy tones in a red. She catches me smiling.

"Six."

"What?"

"My number. Six. How many guys I've fucked."

"Seriously? Six." I taste the word on my tongue. It's not very many but who am I to judge?

"Too many? Not enough?"

"I don't know. Are you happy with that number?"

"Well it's a thing isn't it. Too many and you're a slut. Too few and you're whatever too few is labelled."

"I'm sorry, I just figured you'd have been with lots of guys. You're just so you know..."

"An out of control show off?"

"Well, there's that... I guess since I've known you, you've always been a highly sexual woman so I guessed you had a lot of experience."

"Nope... Late bloomer. I think you just gave me some sexual confidence by believing that about me, so it was easy to start testing boundaries with you. Try out new things. Show off a bit."

"Okay..."

"Do you want to know their names?"

"No. Well not unless you need me to know..."

"Hmm..." She looks off to the side and in this instant I know she is thinking specifically of other men she has fucked. Men who've known her intimately, who've fucked her, put their cocks in her. She's moaned for them, sucked their cocks and let them taste her. I'm surprised how hard the thought of it makes me. I expected to be horrified.

"Nope, none of them you'll ever meet or bump into I don't suppose."

A silence creeps across our lounge room like a shifty fog in a shady alley. We're both trying to digest feelings I guess. I sip my wine and watch aliens fuck.

"Oh fuck, wait," she puts a hand on my arm while counting in her head, "sixteen."

"What?"

"I forgot some."

"Ten."

"Yeah. Ten."

"One would be easy to forget, how do you forget ten?"

"Shut up arsehole. I just forgot. It was kind of a fuck up anyway."

"Do tell."

"I'm not sure I want to now you judgemental misogynist."

I look at her beside me and she's intent on the aliens fucking and I can't read her face. I raise an eyebrow and she continues.

"You know how I said I had my ears done and then my braces... I was in university by then. One of my girlfriends, Donna, took me to a salon one summer holiday. She said if I was going to hang out on the beach with her all summer that I had to look good. They did my hair and waxed my eyebrows, showed me how to apply make up properly and we shopped for summer clothes. By the end of the day, it was like one of those before and after things. When I went home, Mum cried and hugged me. Dad read me the rights on boys and dating and curfew hours and you can imagine anyway..."

She sips her wine and gathers thoughts.

"That summer we spent every day at the beach. I had a boyfriend at the time but he was at summer school, catching up some units. We met up on weekends. All my old school friends were at the beach those holidays. "Oh you look so different" "Oh your teeth are great" "Do you remember when we called you blah blah blah" They just wouldn't shut up about it and you know - it was still bullying. They didn't want to let me out of that box they had me in. They didn't like me being their equal. I also saw their boyfriends started noticing me."

"Hold that thought darlin... I gotta use the little boys room."

She had been rambling on automatic and watching television at the same time. My bladder told me it was time to interrupt. When I returned she put her glass down and faced me. "Sorry, I was giving you the girl version. Anyway, I was pissed off at them all. I noticed their boyfriends all paying me attention now. I played up to it -- you know what I'm like. I got them to rub lotion on, adjust my straps, I sat on laps and flirted -- it was great fun. Then one night we had this big campfire on the beach. Everyone was drinking and there was music. Boys were asking me to dance. Girls I knew from school were jealous and it was awesome."

She looks at me thought fully for a few seconds then continues. "Donna and I were dancing later; there were three or four boys with us. Donna leaned in close and said, "We should do a gang bang". I asked her what that was and she said, "Well, we're out of drinks so we get one of the boys to let us use his panelvan and the guys bring us drinks all night and all we have to do is let them fuck us. Come on it will be fun. You're so hot now, they'll all want you." I wasn't sure but Donna said, "They have to wear condoms, so it doesn't even really count as a fuck. Come on, your my best friend, I don't want to do it on my own." I was nervous but I thought if I wanted in to be in their world I better dive in."

"Fuck..." I'm hard as a rock. There's no hiding how I feel about her story. She notices too...

"Well he likes my story." Leaning forward she gives me a trite kiss on the knob. "I'll take that as a cue to continue unless you are uncomfortable listening?"

"You joking? Go on, it's hot as fuck."

"I thought you'd like parts of this story you pervert. So anyway, Donna talks to one of the guys and he nods and before you know it we are sitting in the back of a panelvan in the parking lot drinking beers and talking to two boys. It starts very mechanically, Donna says, "You've got to fuck him now. Lie down and take off your panties." She actually said 'panties' I fucken hate that word. Anyway I was nervous but this was my way in, so I did as I was told. The boy climbed on top and stuck his little dick in me. He bumped against me a few times and pulled out and said, 'Thanks Jenny' and handed Donna a used condom."

"I was curious about the condom but before I could ask, the other boy was having his turn and he kept going and going. Donna said, "You gotta moan or something so he doesn't think you're a dead root." I made the noises I'd heard in porn movies and soon enough he got off me and handed over a condom. More boys brought beers, we drank and laughed, I fucked them, and they just kept coming. No pun intended. I was getting sore. My vagina burned from the condoms and they were a bit rough you know but I kept going because I thought. Well. I thought..."

"Fuck. Jen, you don't have to keep going darl. I get it." I rub her shoulder and she is crying again. So much for date night and mischief.

"I want you to know this about me if you can handle it."

"I can hear it."

"I had my first orgasm from vaginal sex that night. I'd only had two boyfriends before that night so I was pretty inexperienced. It was far more mechanical than enjoyable. After a couple of hours they stopped coming to the panelvan. I was sore, emotional and half-drunk and asked Donna, "What now?" She said "Nothing, that's it I guess. Let's go back." I wobbled back to the beach with her. My legs were shaky but my face was smiling thinking I'd just be one of the crowd now."

"It was horrible. The girls called me names, 'slut', 'beer whore', the boys mimicked fuck noises. "She's a howler. Arrooo..arrooo." I cried. Donna handed one of the girls, Susan, the condoms and she counted them. "Ten! You fucking slut." They tied them in a necklace and hung them around my neck. Donna had been part of the set up all along. I saw her again throughout uni years but we were done as friends."

"Fuck..."

"I walked home from the beach and put myself back together along the way. You know the truth of it was they were jealous. I'd become a threat to them and they wanted to knock me back down. They thought they could humiliate me but it backfired on them. They'd just shown me I was the one with the power. For the rest of that year any time they gave me shit I flirted with their boyfriends and reminded them I could take their boyfriend any time I wanted."

"..." I get the feeling I'm supposed to say something but I don't know what it is. "So?"

"Well I don't know, that's quite a story."

"Does it count as a layer?"

"Sure. I guess it explains some stuff, but, fuck it, it's just hot as fuck thinking of you letting all those men fuck you. Do you ever consider it now? You know when you are showing off. Let them touch you, maybe fuck you?"

"Well yeah, but you know, I got you. Don't want to lose a good thing for a fun time."

"Hmmm. I seem to be out of clothes to give you."

"So maybe these?" She takes nipple clamps out of the tool box and dangles them.

"And you can kiss her better." She looks down at her crotch. "I feel sore again just thinking about it."

I take the nipple clamps she's holding and moving over her I lick her left nipple. I slurp it like a popsicle, letting the rough of my tongue make it hard. I grab it between my teeth and gnaw it before pinching it between my fingers and putting the clamp on. I do the same on the other side. Her hips buck wildly at me, thrusting involuntarily with each tug on the chain that links the clamps.

I push her back on the couch and trail nips and licks up first one thigh then the other. Stopping just short of her pussy, I blow warm air on her wet lips and run just the tip of my tongue up the slit of her, gently parting her lips. Flicking her clit with my tongue, I start again, a long slow lick from bottom to top until my saliva mixes with her arousal and my face is slick with the musky mess of it all.

She grinds against my nose and chin while I lap at her hole, sticking my tongue in and out. Replacing it with two fingers, I turn my tongue to her clit and firmly probe around it. My fingers work back and forward on the roof of her vagina and she grabs my hair roughly, as I find 'her spot', the bit that tips her over. She's thrusting roughly on my face and growling want at me, then suddenly, "Stop!" "Stop... God. Not just yet."

With fingers on my chin, she raises my face to hers and kisses me deeply making her face wet with her own juices and she sucks on my tongue. "God, you're good at that. You know me too well."

"Eighty plus."

"What?"

"My number."

"You fucking whore boy!"

I pour more wine.

"You're making that up to make me feel better."

"I wish I was."

"Eighty plus... They reckon most men double their number." She chews the idea of it in her mind. "Was that when you were in the army?"

"Yeah. We were horny little motherfuckers with nothing to spend our money on except going into town and partying. Didn't have a steady girlfriend, just a new girl every weekend. In any case, it was kind of hollow, like having a wank using some chick's pussy instead of my hand."

"Oh you poor boy..." The sarcasm drips from pouting lips.

"Well hell, it was fun at the time but what I really wanted was some sort of intimacy."

"Sounds like I have some catching up to do. Six versus Eighty-six."

"Sixteen... If I knew we were going 'even stevens', I probably would have slowed down but I didn't even know you back then."

"Man whore."

"Slut guts."

"Fuck toy."

"Turtle."

"What? Turtle?"

"Yeah." I mime lying on my back waving my legs and arms like I can't get up. She bursts into fits of those fairy giggles she does and collapses onto my bare chest.