Never Too Late

presumptive of me, but I can't do it any other way."

"Go ahead Angela, I won't guarantee to agree to all of them, but I can't say one way or the other until I hear them."

"Okay, there has to be a prenuptial contract. I don't want people to think that I am marrying you for your money. To keep that idea going you are going to have to be nice to me in public, hugs and kisses and 'sweetie' and things like that for at least a month before the wedding. You also have to keep it up for at least a while afterwards. I will do the same to you except in the office. I also want to continue to work here. I may have to switch to another executive to keep propriety, but I would hope not as you have the most exciting work in the company." John was nodding at each declaration as if agreeing. "Those things are somewhat negotiable, at least in degree, but the next two are not. You have to make up with your sister. She called while you were gone and we had a very long conversation. She loves you and misses you and her son John would like to get to know his namesake. When I told her what you said about her just telling you the truth, she just about screamed my ear deaf. I don't know what she said to make such an impact, but she regrets it with every fiber of her being. The last item is that I need to know what the big secret is and why you don't want a sexual relationship of any kind."

"Now I'm the one who has to think for a while. We'll talk later tonight. I can understand your conditions, I just don't know if I can comply with them. Okay Angela?"

"That is fine sir. I'll see you at home. Right now I've got some work to do that hasn't been getting done because someone who shall remain nameless took my mind off of work."

That evening after Meagan had gone to bed Angela returned to the family room and sat in the armchair next to John's.

"Have you had enough time John?"

"Yes, I think I have. The first items are easily dealt with. The prenup might not be as restrictive as you want, but there will be one. I agree with that mostly because I can see you discovering Lancelot prancing by and wishing you had waited. No matter what is in the agreement though, Meagan will be taken care of the best that I can. I already love her and see suitors around every corner. If you let me adopt her, it will be the happiest day of my life. As you said, the stickers are the last two items. I'll do it if Elizabeth will."

"She will."

"And the last item relates to the previous. I want you to know just how difficult this is. I have kept this hidden for most of my life and telling you is possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. I am beginning to care a lot for you and I want you to stay around, and this is the only way I can do it."

John stopped to take a breath. "At the end of my senior year of high school I was in the shower after mowing the lawn. Elizabeth had just gotten back from her first year of college and I was not used to her being in the house, so I had not locked the bathroom door. I had been very meticulous about that for the last few years. As I stepped out of the shower Elizabeth opened the door and walked in. For the first time since I had been very little she saw me nude. Of course she looked down at my crotch before I could cover it. Her reaction was what I had expected. She pointed at my dick and burst out laughing. I shall remember her words to the end of my life.

"Damn John, what the hell is that little thing? There is no way any woman is ever going to want you with no more than that to use."

"I was humiliated and I have not spoken to her since. That was 17 years ago and I remember it as if it was yesterday. Unfortunately, she was correct; my penis is very small and would not do anything for a woman, so I have stayed away from women up until now. The only way I can tell you about it is because I know that it will make you feel more comfortable being here with me. Even if I wanted to do anything to you, I couldn't do any harm. I do have hormones and urges, but I suppress them. This is the dark secret that I have guarded jealously for all these years. Are you still willing to marry me?"

"Don't we make a pair? We both fear sex, but for different reasons. All I get from sex is pain, which is all I have ever felt. You fear the rejection from sex for what are probably very good reasons. I will marry you, partly because the thought of marrying a normal man scares me to tears. Maybe between both of our fears we can be happy, or at least not be miserable."

The shows of affection went slowly. The first time John touched her without warning Angela jumped and yelped. It took almost half and hour to calm her back down. After that, John always said something before touching her. Their first public kiss was almost as bad, and John decided to do that very rarely.

There was no way to do this without someone being in on the deal to some extent. William Dent's secretary, Rose, was the office gossip. She already knew something about John's problem with women, not the real problem, but she knew that there was one. Angela had also confided some of her history to Rose shortly after starting to work at Ellington. Angela went to lunch with her right away and gave her a version of the story near enough to the truth to be uncomfortable for both parties, and swore her to secrecy; which of course meant that most of the company knew it the next day. The idea was to stop the rumor mongers before they started. This way everyone knew that it was more a marriage of convenience than love, but that Angela was not latching onto John for his money. This would not stop all of the gossip of course, but it would give them some degree of respectability.

Their home life became much looser, and they made the changes needed for Angela and Meagan to be permanent residents at the house. John had bought the house about 10 years before and had it fixed up. The house was a Victorian style on Highland Avenue just down from Kossuth Street in an older but still very nice neighborhood. There were seven bedrooms along with a very large family room, library, front parlor, living room and formal dining room. The remodeling had expanded the master bedroom into a suite with a Jacuzzi and added another large bathroom between two of the other three bedrooms on the second floor. There were three bedrooms and a small half bath on the third floor. John had also had an exercise room added to the three-car garage and a game room with large screen TV, pool table, and sauna in the basement. Angela did not move into the master suite with John, but she and Meagan did do some decorating in their two rooms and bath.

One evening over dinner Meagan looked at John and asked, "If you are going to marry mommy, does that mean I can call you daddy?"

"I would be very proud if you were to call me daddy darling, but you only do it if you want to. Do you want me to be your daddy sweetheart?"

"I think so John, you are almost as nice as grampa was. Will I be Meagan Forrester?"

"Once again dear, only if you want to. As far as I am concerned, I am your father and you can call me what ever you want to honey."

"I would like that I think...daddy. Does that mean that I am not a bastard anymore?"

Angela jumped up and ran to hug Meagan. "Baby, where did you hear that?"

"The kids at school said that if mommy wasn't married then I was a bastard."

"Honey, you are not and never were a bastard. I will explain it all to you when you are older, but John and I are going to send you to a new school starting next year. It is a private school and they are only going to know you as Meagan Forrester. John will be your daddy and no one ever needs to know about before. Will that be okay Meagan?"

"Okay mommy. I like John and I do want him to be my daddy."

John had already been in contact with a very nice private school about Meagan, and he reminded himself to make sure they had her listed as Forrester.

One evening, several days later, Angela and John were sitting in the family room watching TV. They had gotten into a routine where after dinner they took some time to talk to and pay attention to Meagan, then after she was in bed they would retire to the family room with coffee and watch TV for a while before they went to bed. The movie on this evening was R rated and half way through Angela looked over at John.

"John, do movies like this make you uncomfortable?"

"What do you mean uncomfortable?"

"Do you get excited seeing women nearly nude like this?

And if you do, what do you do about it? Do you masturbate?"

"Angela!"

"Come on John, it is a valid question. You said that you have normal urges, what do you do about them?"

"Well what about you? Do you masturbate? Does seeing a movie like this get you excited?"

"No, it doesn't and I don't. Do you want to know what I feel when I think about sex? Do you want to know more about what happened to me? I'll tell you if you want me to, but you may not like what you hear."

"I do want to hear it, not for curiosity as much as to better understand you. I want to keep from hurting you by accident, and I can't do that without knowing more about what you went through. To answer your question first; yes I do get excited and no I do not masturbate. I just repress the urge. I tried it when I was younger and it brought no relief, just shame, so I don't do that anymore. The best time of my life was when I convinced my doctor to prescribe a chemical castration drug like they use on sex criminals. It was fantastic, I felt so much relief. He wouldn't continue the prescription saying that it was not healthy and I should buck up and deal with my problem like a man. I almost hit him I was so angry. Needless to say I stopped going to him. I have been trying to get up the courage to make the castration real, but I haven't been able to yet. But I may do it now, just to make you feel safer."

"Don't do that John. I do feel safe with you and I don't want you to hurt your health for me. This is very difficult for me so please don't interrupt. It is not that I don't remember, or that I don't think about it all the time, because I do, it is just that talking about it makes it real again, and not just a nightmare.

My best friend Helen lived on the street behind mine. I would usually walk around the block because there was a mean dog in the alley that I didn't want to walk by. As I got to the corner, a car pulled to the curb and two men jumped out and ran toward me. I didn't have time to move before one of them grabbed me around the waist and put a damp rag on my face. I barely remember them tossing me into the back of the car, but I was not all the way in before they slammed the door shut. My foot caught in the door and the force broke my ankle. They just pulled me in and closed the door again as I screamed and passed out. The next thing I remember I was lying naked on a bed and one of the men was on top of me shoving his dick into me. The pain of the rape was almost as much as the pain from my ankle. They had tied me to the bed and didn't even realize that my ankle was broken. I passed out again and woke back up as another of them fucked me. I don't know how long this cycle kept up. Every time I woke up one of them was fucking me and my ankle was hurting so much I would pass out again. I guess one of them figured out what was going on because when I finally woke up and stayed awake my right leg was not tied anymore and there was a tight bandage on my ankle. They did not let up on me though, it is just that I stayed awake the next few times they raped me. After the first few days, they settled into a routine. In the morning they would each rape me and then whoever was last would tie me sitting up on the toilet. I would be fed and watered then left there for the day. I was always blindfolded and my hands were always bound with leather cuffs and my good leg was usually chained as well. When they would get back I was fed and watered again, then they would hose me down to clean me off, and then take me back to the bed and rape me some more. Some times they would bring in friends and sell me to them. One night they threw a party and I was fucked all night. They had a harness they put on my face that kept me from biting them as they fucked my mouth. A lot of the time they would have just fucked my ass before they used my mouth. I got used to the taste of my own shit. My ankle hurt for a long time, but it eventually quit. The doctors later said that the nerves were finally destroyed. I had no way to know how long I had been there, but I soon realized that I was pregnant because I never had a period. Since they kept me blindfolded I knew that they were probably going to let me go, but there were many times I wanted them to just kill me. One morning one of them said that he knew that I was pregnant and he was going to let me go so that if the child was his, he wouldn't kill it. He put the damp rag on my face again and the next thing I remember I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. My time in the hospital was not a lot better except that I was not being raped anymore. They had to re-break my ankle to make it so I could walk again. There was too much damage for it to be fixed all the way. My mother would not let me have an abortion. She said that the baby should not have to die for the father's sins. The men were never found, and the thought that they could be looking at me at any time drove me crazy. My mother grew up in Lafayette and as soon as I was released from the hospital, we moved here. I was able to finish school without anyone knowing my story, but I stayed away from people so they wouldn't ask questions. You are the only person here that I have talked to about this. To answer your original question, yes I do feel some excitement from these movies, but I do not masturbate either. All I get from sex is pain. I never felt anything but pain when those men were on me and I have trouble washing down there, let alone playing with it."

By the time she was done with the story Angela was crying openly. John wasn't sure what to do, he wanted to go over and hold Angela and comfort her, but he was afraid that it would not be received in the manner given. Instead he got up and went to the bar and made her a drink. Angela liked pina coladas so there was always mix ready for it. When he handed it to her, she took a big drink and coughed from the shock of the alcohol.

"Damn John, you don't have to get me drunk. I hope you don't regret your idea now. The thought of staying with someone as nice and understanding as you makes me feel safer than I have for a long, long time. Meagan is real excited to finally have a daddy like the other kids. Have I disgusted you John?"

"You haven't dear, but those sons o' bitches better hope I never know who they are. I just wish that there were some way to do something more for you."

"You have done quite a bit so far. I don't really know of anything else that you could do."

"Hello, is this Elizabeth Miller?"

"Yes it is, may I help you?"

"Probably not Liz, this is John."

"John...JOHN, is that really you?"

"Yes Liz. Angela convinced me to call you. She said she wouldn't marry me unless I made up with you. I'm sorry for all of the pain I have caused."

"No John, no; I'm the one who is sorry. I was so mean and I wish with all my being that I had never said such an evil thing to you. I love you John. Wait a minute; did you say that you were going to get married?"

"Yes, Angela and I are going to be married in a few months time. She said that I had been cruel to you and that she would not marry me unless I made up with you. I have wanted to for a long time, but I could never get up the courage to call."

"Does she know why you wouldn't talk to me?"

"Yes, that was the other condition. I had to let her in on the big secret. I would have had to anyway; she needed to know why I wanted to marry her."

"So she doesn't mind your problem? I knew that there would be someone for you if you were patient. It doesn't take size to make a woman happy."

"You misunderstand Elizabeth. We have not been intimate; we never will. Angela does not want sex with a man. I can't tell you her story, she'll have to do that herself, but my condition is a plus for her because of it. I hate to ask you a favor already, but Angela and I would like you to be at the wedding, and she will not travel to anywhere near Denver. Would you fly here for the wedding? I'll pay for the ticket for you and for your son as well if he is willing to come. Are you in a relationship, and would he like to come?"

"No John, I haven't been in a relationship for a long time now. After my husband left I kind of let myself go and no man is willing to stick around very long. Your nephew Johnny would love the chance to meet you, and we will come to see you and this amazing woman as soon as I can get a plane there. I miss you so much John, I can't wait to see you again. I have been there before, I have seen what a success you have made of yourself and I was so sorry that I could not share that with you. Will you pick us up at the airport?"

"Take it easy Liz. Angela and I will be in Indy to pick you up, just call her at the office to say when you will be in. I am looking forward to seeing you again and to meeting your son."

"I named him after you John, so that I would have a reminder of the tragic mistake I had made."

"That is all in the past Liz. Call Angela when you get a flight, goodbye for now."

Standing in the arrival area with Angela and Meagan, Meagan between them holding both of their hands, was one of the hardest things he had ever done. John was so scared he was fidgeting and had an almost uncontrollable urge to run away. The only thing that stopped him was Meagan's utter joy at the idea of meeting her soon to be Aunt and Cousin. She kept asking questions to which John would have to answer, "I don't know dear. I am sure that they will love you, but I don't know much about them anymore."

Angela was almost as nervous as John and answered her own barrage of questions in almost the same manner as John did.

Finally, the public address system announced the arrival of their flight and people started streaming out of the security area. A tall bleached blonde with wide hips dressed in very good clothes and a slender young man stepped through the barrier and headed directly for the trio.

John thought that it might be Elizabeth and her son, but she looked so different from what his memory showed. She had gained at least 50 pounds and most of it was on her hips. The boy looked nothing like her. He was slender and dark, almost a Mediterranean complexion with black hair down to his shoulders.

"Is that Johnny daddy? He's cute."

"I think so dear."

Just then the woman saw him and came rushing over with her arms outstretched.

"John! Thank god, I was afraid that this day would never come."

By this time she had reached them and grabbed John in a crushing hug; Elizabeth put her head on John's shoulder and cried.

It had been so long since John had actually held a woman in his arms that he wasn't sure what to do with his hands. Having his sister crying on his shoulder didn't help any either. He could feel her brassier bound breasts pushing against his upper abdomen. The fact that this gave him an erection meant little, he always had an erection when a woman was near. That it was his sister meant nothing, he had not seen her for 17 years and there was no sense of shame there for that, just the normal shame he always felt at getting hard.

The boy stood there looking uncomfortable with his hands hanging loosely.

Meagan came to the rescue by stepping forward and taking the boy's left hand in both of hers. "Are you going to be my cousin? John says that he is going to be my daddy so you will be my cousin. Do cousins like each other? I've never had a cousin before; I hope that you will like me. My name is Meagan and I will be seven next month, how old are you?"