All Comments on 'Nightingale'

How I missed this story in all of your other ones, I will not understand. Read your Shepard stories ages ago, along with some other, but never read this until just now. I was missing out. Such an amazing story. Put it right up there in my top 5 all time favorites!!! Would love to see a sequel to this one day!

Unreal how good this story was... the best novels (before the digital age) were called "page turners." In that vein, I simply couldn't stop reading this one until the end. Full character arcs, a panorama of characters with unique attributes and motivations. As many others have stated in the comments below, you truly have writing talent!!

A very good story as is true almost all of the time from BurntRedstone, one of my favorite authors.

One thing that bothered me was that a good mother (Suzanne) would let her daughter (Sam) go do errands alone when a violent person (Roxy) was loose and might be nearby.

Also there were some English issues (such as using "you're" instead of "your" in a couple of places).

It's a great story well structured and written. Most of the sex is intrinsic to the story. Most! Impressive.

Thank you for the read!

I came here for a casual worthless read but that was an incredibly captivating, sexy, emotionally satisfying and heartful story.

Wow. Thank you for this. I came here horny and left emotional. You have quite a gift with the pen. Keep it up!

The best. Fat fingered my way to this site. Been here for months. I’ve been a reader for decades and this story moved me as so few have.

At first I couldn’t relate to the characters until Gary said Raphael was moulded by his environment.

Again, a truly great story. Thank you for sharing.

Five by five

What a journey of metamorphosis. A desperate and tragic attempt a so called 'slum scum' to emerge as a compassionate conscientious academic achiever. A pair of beautiful smart women who support each other and their men. An understanding and thoughtful sheriff (like Atticus Finch?) Who reserves judgment to facts instead of open bias and rumors.

How can this author space the diversity of his stories from Natalie and Melody to Ben Shepherd or Ambassador Jack. Kudos to imagination and creative writing skills. (Dexshim)

This is a Romance story. 5/5

Only complaint about this story is the classification in the non-con section. Certainly a few non-con elements but certainly not the main focus.

5 stars

6/5 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this might be my favourite story from this website:)

Excellent story telling. 100% worth the read ♥️

So unbelievably and utterly beautiful. Truly amazing read!

Very dark, very violent, but amazing to read. Thanks for giving me four nice evenings.

One of the best novellas I've read. I've taught literature for 30 years.

Good story. Thanks for spending the time to write it and share with us. The only loose end that wasn't completed was what happened to Emily the artist. She just left the story and we never find out what happens to her. Not a huge deal but I was left wondering.

5/5

J

It seems more likely the young man will end up a field operative! Maybe with MI6?

Wow!!! Riveting. I couldn’t put it down.

Whoa! I’ve read thousands of stories, but this is among the few that have stayed on my mind. The fact that it’s been several weeks that I finished the story and that I came back only to find out if the author has any similar stories. I felt I also had to come back and give a shout-out to the writer, absolutely fantastic. Great development of characters.

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🙏👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍👍👍👍✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️😁🍕🌭🍔🥞🥓🌹🤷😁

Referring back to Raph's first night at Sam and Suzannes house; as Suzanne dragged Sam off to bed, put me in mind of a quote that I read from one of my favorite authors( Robert Aanson Heinlein ), " little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse".

There are story tellers and there are Authors. Burnt Red Stone is by the the best Author at Literotica. Beautiful mind, perfect stories, masterpieces! Thank you. It's been over two years since I've read this last. The score proves that it is loved by many. Last night I finished listening to "Walking an Endless Path Part 3" and I thought for a while, what am I going to do now? Like I was lost! Until I started reading this story once again, lol. BRS, my favorite Author. Another 5 BIG ASS HUGE STARS! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Great read

Excellent. Deserves a wider readership.

I usually don´t read stories this long, but with a few authors I make an exception, and it was worth it.

Overly melodramatic? Sure. Lots of cliched characters? Definitely. Ending too good to be true? Absolutely, especially considering the noir story. This story isn´t high literature, but I don´t expect that from Literotica anyway. But it was very well written, had good pacing, nice characters (especially Suzanne) and most of all very entertaining to read.

Thank you and keep up the good work. 5 stars.

It doesn't get better than this. Outstanding cast, especially Raph. Where did he get his fighting skills and focus, and why he is usually so restrained? There are some hints, enough to guess but not to be sure. The storyline is imaginative, exciting, yet believable, kept me reading (just one more page!) and guessing (often wrongly) throughout.

Strand

Fun, intriguing, suspenseful, and more... thank you!

Wow, that was amazing. You seriously need to write more, everywhere you can!

Wow- honestly the best thing I’ve read on here. This needs to be published.

Holy shit! Dark, intense, good!

Excellent, worth to be a book or made into a film !!!

Beautiful story

I was held enthralled throughout. It flowed well and the characters were very interesting

Great story. Sad he couldn't save Dotty.

A good story. Did I miss the 'nightingale" ? There is a really good novel about a French underground heroine of the same name. Too many pat characters, for my liking and a little too gruesome, for my taste. But, that is the genre. Plenty of fodder there for a sequel if it took a more psychological turn, though might not be as satisfying for your readers. I've read a fair amount of your stuff, and liked them all

If I were to create a graphic novel out of this, it would look a lot like Sin City.

Really liked this story, 5*. Was it melodramatic? Yes, I suppose, but that doesn't make it bad. I don't quite understand how people think that is an insult or that the majority of stories on this site aren't, in some way, melodramatic.

Don't care what about what alot of folks may say about yóur work . Only that I like it, and really hope to see more from you. BurntRedstone , you are in a group of writers, that can really " sale" a believable story to the public. Thank you for your time and effort to entertain the ones that can't do what you want others can.. So to heck with all the negative comments, you want perfection. Go the library, are Barnes@Noble,nuff said

Great story. Bravos.

So...this is the best this category offers. Far too much one dimensional character development and far too much utterly risible melodrama, all seasoned with a sprinkling of stale, woketard shibboleths. This author can and has done far better. This story, however, is grotesquely overscored.

There is much I enjoyed about this piece. Though the ending was romanticized, it didn’t feel exaggerated to the point of disappointment. It was enough for happy ending feels without dismissing Raph’s distinct experiences that shaped him, which was an intriguing story line. Rich in concepts of intersectionality, the author affords us the character development and attention to detail to truly feel how deeply Raph’s interrelated experiences haunt his every thought and threaten every inch of his identity. As a student constantly in the throes of examining their own privilege, I appreciated the intensity that was Raph’s mind. Every thought he had was grounded in a constant consideration of threat. I was on edge in Raph’s mind, consistently amazed by his resilience. It wasn’t until he had a good night’s sleep without threat to his mortality (I believe was the line) did I finally feel I could relax a little for him.

Thank you for sharing this story!

A most enjoyable story, a very well developed and broad range of characters, plots sub-plots and overall intrigue. Loved it, loved it so much and looking for more of the same too. A very solid 5.

David C

🥸👌

My back hurts by my heart is happy. Soap is typically not my thing, but I loved this read. Not sure about the category though, I stumbled upon this through the romance tag and the high rating. The category is not something I browse and I think this would fit the Novels & Novellas better.

Just amazing!

Stupid website... wanted to give 10 stars... but, as the rebel that i am, i pressed the 5stars 2 times...😏

Simply outstanding, As many have said, some of the best work in Literotica.

Yes, this has outstanding character development, detailing, complexity of plot, suspense, compassion and just a few items that could be edited for improvement when the author decides to turn it into a novel: e.g., Mad Maddy is called both Madison and Madeline; Sam Harris is once called Sam Harrison, but I do remember details, so that's my fault, and Wally is much too stupid to ever be admitted to a calculus class at any level.

Another well written piece.

David

I thoroughly enjoyed reading along as every jerk along the way got their respective dose of karma.

A stunning story of a young man's development and growth through diversity and pain.

Loved it, you are certainly some word smith.

Simon_Madters

Absolutely outstanding story!

Great story but too much use (other stories also guilty) of word snort. Pigs and horses snort, humans snicker, laugh lightly and that flows but snort, I think not. A few snorts will pass but ... just thinking out loud, OK?

Raphael did some good take down on Mateo but an immature Dotty did bear more responsibility. Great to allow more female art to be well mentioned and appreciated.

Congratulations on a true tour de force. It’s amazing to me that you were able to weave so many characters, storylines, and moving parts into a coherent whole. Your writing takes Literotica to a whole ‘nother level.

Does anyone know which character was a crossover from By My Side, Always??

Great story! Thank you…maybe a second part.

Excellent story, this is my second time around reading it, as I hadn’t realised that there was character crossover from “By my side, Always” until @BurntRedstone pointed it out to me (Thank you btw 🙂), quality story and it does highlight some of the current issues in society.

The characters were all well drawn, although some were a little more ott than you’d expect in real life, but this isn’t is it - it’s erotic fantasy land and we should treat it as such. But, I’d have liked for Roxie and Dotty to have escaped to a better life and Ms Picton to have found a nice Deputy to fall in love with, but hey, if wishes were horses…..

Having reread this along with the other new story it intersects, I’d really love to see a story following this up now, with Raph and Sam happily married, qualified and giving forward on the chance that was offered to him, that way a catch up with Suzanne & Gary could be worked in.

Many thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

A very very well done story, one of the best I've ever read. I compliment both your ability to handle the use of switching between multiple characters for their own unique perspective, and how you kept everything feeling so real. From the characters to the tone, which got super dark at times, mind you. There were times you could've been more predictable with the setting, which is fine, but your ability to subvert expectations to shift the story into a dramatically different way for the purposes of trying something new and telling a better story were top notch. I had my expectations subverted no less then five times, and although I didn't always appreciate how grim the story got, I knew it wouldn't fit with the tone and you would be sacrificing the impact of the story. I must applaud you as one of the better writers on Literotica, as your writing of the sex scenes and even just the normal writing itself was phenomenal. I will definitely be checking out the rest of your works, and if you ever publish a real novel, I will give that a look as well! Keep doing amazing things, BurntRedstone!

This is the 2nd story I've read where there was a line that made me like mentally fist bump when I read them. The first was "The ocean wants you" which was just my personal highlight in an amazing story.

Then "Raphael's wishes. Anton's way." Happened, and after another amazing story it just made me smile to find another great mental fist bump.

Brilliant writing. Thank you.

WOW...A fantastic story all the way through I couldn't stop reading it. Your stories always keep me wanting more. Thank you

10*s

I try to stay away from long stories, but this was just too good to pass up. Well done. I feel it could have done better without so many people dying in the fire.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

That is, by far, the best erotic fiction I have read. Absolutely gripping, I've just spent all day reading it, couldn't put it down.

Raph is something of a cross between Francisco Danconia and John Wick!

All the characters are totally compelling and I loved the intense, dark and graphic plot.

11/10 would absolutely recommend!

Great story! Another incredible read! But, soooooo much blood shed and death. Thank-you for this story

What a great story. I was reminded of many of JimBob44’s stories (absent the accented dialects that JB44 uses). But the same kind of gritty reality is presented in this story. Five very enthusiastic stars.

Normally i like to poke holes in stories but this one is simply perfect. you didn't leave the story so it felt that you had abruptly stopped and left it unfinished while leaving it open for a possible but improbable sequel (at least by BRS) 5*

I feel so lucky to have found this story. Well done.

I loved it. Thank you.

Im a massive fan of your other works and i cant believe i haven read this till now its brilliant and im wondering if at some point if you consider doing q sequel as there seemed some space to do so with its sorta open ending, thank you for sharing your works with us ,and if you see this hope you have a good weekend

I've probably commented on this story before, as this isn't my first time reading it. It's definitely one of the better (or best) written stories on this website. That being said, I'm of the opinion that while praise has its place, an author will only improve if they also get a healthy dose of criticism. First, I'll echo what has already been mentioned: The fact that every "bad guy" got what was coming to him was a little over the top and hard to believe. There was no reason (for example) to kill Raph's father. It didn't add anything to the story, and although Raph hated him and Dotty could never get over him, he wasn't really an evil guy that deserved to die. Every situation was wrapped up neatly with a ribbon and tied off. Even to the murderer killing his mom and dying in the process, which of course leads to Raph moving in with his new girlfriend.

The second thing I'd critique is the fact that Raph showed some promise as an artist, as well as a gifted sculptor, yet that never went anywhere. What was the point of writing that whole episode if nothing more was going to come of it? The reader is never drawn in to appreciate the fact that Raph wants to be a surgeon. There's never even any reason given for his interest in surgery. I feel it would have been much more engaging to the reader to have him going to art school after discovering his latent talent for sculpting.

That being said, this story is a definite 5-star Literotica story. Thanks so much for taking the time and effort to write, edit, and post it here for us readers to enjoy for free!

Great Story

So many have lived that life and not made it out.

The story reeks of reality with a normal healthy amount of sex, the fact I found it here is a wonderful surprise. I really don't care what others think and while I'm not qualified to be a writing critic as a member of the human race I am qualified and moved by the story you wrote. While some complain about not enough sex, most people have the same complaint about that in real life. Fact or total fiction I think it is a great story, I would love to see it as a movie except Hollywood would ruin it with excessive sex scenes. After reading this I am certain I will read more of your writing. Great Job not enough superlatives I can use to tell you how much I liked Nightingale!

Just re-read the story. Still one of my favorites. Thanks for sharing this masterpiece.

Re: dougsan

I'm not sure if you read the same story I did. Having just finished this, I can think of AT LEAST 6 sex scenes: The one with Raph and Roxy. The blowjob from the nurse. The sex Raph had with Emily. The sex between Gerry and Madison, with Victor thrown in. Roxy and Malcom, twice. Need I go on? So this particular story didn't have Raph getting laid every other day like some of Burntredstone's male main characters, or three times in one day with 3 different women, but it's not totally necessary. Some times, there can actually be too much sex and it detracts from the main plot. We don't always need to know every blow-by-blow (pun intended). Imo, this had a nice amount of sex without being heavy OR light on it.

I read this again to remember it and once I started to remember it I would cry a little with every mention of Dotty. Amazing story and writing.

I found the story quite interesting and very well written. I applaud the writer's skill. That said, the site is Literotica. Not literature. Add a lot of good sex and you have a five. Without the sex the story leaves too much wanting.

So well done!

I'm completely hooked on your writing. It's been a joy to have one excellent story after another!

ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I'VE READ HERE. GOTTA FAVORITE BOTH THE STORY AND AUTHOR. LOVE THESE LONGER STORIES! THANKS REDSTONE.

You really write, take the next step!

The story has structure

The characters have depth and personality

The plot never felt tired and the sex scenes didn't feel forced

Fantastic work

To echo other comments it would make a great film and you have lots of talent

This is my second comment - you're truly the best! I just want to add one thing once I scrolled through and realized there are people who can actually hate on this work of art.

I can safely guess they did not read your work because however else could they have those reactions?! Also some other attacks seem personal - you must be a popular author on this site. One more thing that made me laugh about your precious haters - they are so synonymous with the haters in your story, I am so glad this is all online! Please don't stop sharing with us - I am certain your admirers are far more numerous compared with your dear haters.

I love Literotica and spend an unhealthy amount of time here reading stories. I have never cried for ANY of them. When I started this one I was so taken by Raph that I had to continue even after I saw it was 28 PAGES! I agree with everyone who wants to see this on the big screen. It is so well written, the stories so touching, the amount of strength in the guy coupled with endless compassion, the brilliance you put into closing any possible loose ends and giving us the finality we so crave - I just cannot - it is too much to leave on this site alone. This is more than I've ever written on this story besides, "well done" but you must realize what a masterpiece this is. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. We are unworthy.

ARE YOU NOT MAKING MONEY WRITING SCREENPLAYS!?!?!?!? My God, such talent and a FUCKING FABULOUS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other anonymous comment about a screenplay is DEAD ON! You owe it to yourself and us to explore this. I have no contacts to offer; but you need someone to see about producing this, most sincerely.

The romance portion was good, but the rest really strained my willful suspension of disbelief. Not only does the idea of of a teenager (and even pre-teen) with no weapons or training, however strong, beating up guys who are twice his age seem dreadfully unrealistic, but the karmic retribution for virtually everyone who caused him injury, great or small, made it feel, at times, more like revenge porn than anything else (by which I am referring to getting your jollies from seeing the protagonist exacting brutal and painful vengeance and not literal pornography). This *is* a good story, overall, but it went a bit over the top at times.

I teach film production. I suggest that you collaborate with a screenwriter and find an indie producer. You have a hit on your hands all because of an engaging story arc, credible characters, and just a sprinkling of sex to keep things spicy.

Omg best story ever!

Such an emotional read, when Roxy killed Dotty I was devastated and every mention of her brought fresh tears, a very heartbreaking scene. Truly great writing.

Possibly your best story. Very moving and sad st times. Great characters.

Just read this again...such a totally awesome story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truly an epic story. Character building and overall story development was remarkable. I couldn’t put it down. I would have preferred the $8500 check was for part of the profit from the bronzing of the clay figure from art class. Dotty was a whore with many addictions and basically completely incapacitated by them. The thought that her dancing was that good doesn’t stand up to reality. Minor point, but it prevented me giving six stars. As a retired surgeon raised by a widowed mother who DIDN’T get paid for her sexual dalliances, I related on a different level.

...and I mean it on many planes! The story was fantastic, and the characterizations original. I had previously read your Edward Walters and Ben Shepherd Sagas (along with the later "Drive" continuation of Ben Shepherd) and believe them to be two of the very best stories I have found on Literotica. And now Nightingale joins them, amongst the best. At it's heart it is a heartwarming love story of two 18-year-olds from opposite end of society's spectrum who manage to find one another. But it is wrapped in an intricate story of violence and brutality, racialism and despair. It is at times unnerving, but you find a way through. On the way there are some unforgettable characterizations - not just Raphael and Samantha, but Emily, and Sam's mother, and Gary Cooper and (Dr.) Ed Woods, and even the mean-minded PhysEd teacher. He actually reminded me of the one High School teacher I had (65 years ago, no less) who taught Phys Ed and didn't like me because I was not athletic but I was smarted than him. While not athletic I did graduate at 17, joined the air Force (RCAF) and became a fighter pilot, and was actually piloting supersonic F-86 Sabres when I was still 18 years old. After my 6-year term I went on to University and graduate School and for more than 30 years was a University Lecturer in Canada. But I still remember that high school PhysEd teacher afyer all these years. and your story brought him right back! You did good with this story, and thank you for sharing it with your readers! Great Read, and hope you will consider a later sequel, with Raphael as a Doctor, and his beloved wife Samantha as a Hospital Administrator.

Damn. Freaking great story!

A great plot and excellent writing. Very moving.

Almost too much. Reading this story was kind of like being at a circus. Lots of drama, suspense and excitement. Sometimes, overwhelming. Just when you think everything is finally going to be ok, suddenly, there’s two more nefarious villains lying in wait on their first day back at school. The drama with the absentee father at the end was confusing. Did he really deserve to die? Involving the father at all seemed unnecessary to the story.

I did really like a lot of the story, it was just over done at times.

I don't normally read such long stories, but I'm glad I read this one. Exceptionally written and edited, this story is one of my favourites

Just so great.

Like your other stories this was a really enjoyable, emotionally driven tale. You are truly a blessing to us readers. Thank you for sharing.

All through this exceptional tale, I thought that this would make a terrific multi-part series on Netflix or HBO, and you could then keep in the sexy parts without having to rewrite or tone down the sex and/or violence. You spin a lovely story, with wonderful character insights. I would have loved to pass this story on to my son when he was a teenager, as this was an inspirational coming of age piece. Thank you, and I'd like some more please!

It says something that people spend time to comment...

Anyone else tickled by the author's adherence to the first Commandment? 'Geezus'? Really?

This story is entertaining for many reasons.

Thanks!

Long but amazing. A well developed story line. Most impressive.