All Comments on 'No Way Honey: Jan'

Nice job!

Finish one of these good stories.

Kids! You've gotta love em'

out of the mouths of children !

Wow. That was a mic drop. That isn't just instant divorce. That is the husband getting fully custody and Jan getting at most supervised visits. Ouch. Good for Lilly. Also the son's statement really buried the dagger. Should make it much easier for the MC to move on. Nit sure how British law will work with property division, but in the US, even with no fault divorces, virtually any judge will take the Tuesday trysts with the children in the house into due consideration. She will be paying child support and will have to wait at least 16 years yo get her share of thr house equity. In the US, there woukd be zero alimony. From thr mouths of babies. This should be rated much higher. 5 blazing stars.

I really liked this one. An easy 5 for me. It did not bother me that it was not complete-- only one conceivable ending imo and I'm fully capable of filling in the blanks. Nice job and keep on writing.

Trying is trying to give it a damn ending being lazy and trying are 2 different things this wasn't trying it was being lazy all because of the lack of ending

FTDS!

Good one. Nicely done.

Cop pit on the best bit.

Sorry. No Five. A healthy Three stars, though for a non-story vignette.

JPB

Diveorce the bitch is what happens

I thought it was good. But, you left everyone hanging.. Are we as readers, suppose to fill in the rest? I like the part about the little girl telling about uncle Mick.

This is a reread and new rating of 5. The only possible thing that could have made it an even greater “out of the mouth of babes” moment would have been if Mary had noticed Mick was blonde with a resemblance to a certain precocious four year old girl….

Not sure why you won't finish a story. Writing is great except being incomplete.

Incomplete story gets a 1. Could have been a 5 if you finished it.

Creative reveal.

Finish the damn story.

From the mouth of babes. Slam dunk, outstanding and original

Love Itttt!!!!! This is the best short story on lirotica.

Why would they invite Mick's new boss and how did they know how to contact him.Also where is he staying,as he wouldn't be going back to Manchester that night?.

Not much no ending

Fine comic twist but I think it could be expanded to be a real situation with an unexpected reveal... and I'd like to see what happens next!!!

Having a child blurt out the facts is an interesting twist, but no mother would have trusted her kids to say nothing even as they grew up.

I like the story and the ending.

Why do so many people think it necessary to dot every I and cross every t?

I thought the story was just fine as written. Yes it could be turned into a full length novel, or any thing else in between, but that is up to the author.

3*, bc lack of ending. Imagine your own is bs.

Very well done & what Karl_Hundasson said

One of the more interesting ways for an adulterous affair to be discovered... "from the mouths of babes..." !!

Yes, although it left us guessing what came next, 5 stars for a largely unique tale.

Great denouement. :)

As a short sharp hitting story, it Rates a five + from me, yes it could of had more fleshing out with a finer finish. Take no notice of th denigraters, maybe sit down n rewrite with more interesting detail and a harder hitting end.

4 Solid stars on this one . Keep up the Great work

There are basic rules in literature and creative writing. Some of them deal with the form and elements of good writing. Things such as into, exposition, character dev, conflict, resolution and maybe a few more. This writer seems to have serious issues with more than some of these….

You sure do have an issue with endings. Finish your stories or stop writing. You suck at it!

If you can’t write a damn ending don’t write at all

Out of the mouths of babes

It can happen to anyone!

I love this set up. Seems so real and true to life. I would love to see where it goes from here. Why would a couple seeming so much in tune have issues? What lead to this tragic situation?

Nice, original thinking on a story line. Good Job.

Ed

@Anonymous5 months ago

One of the tags for this is revenge? I’ve read it through a couple of times but still don’t see any?

Did you forget the rest *

*This is the part where you have to use your own imagination.

Out of the mouths of babes

I guess anon doesn't have kids. Four year olds can be brilliant.

Stupid story 4-year-old will not notice that kind of crap

What was written was quite good, very good actually.

Then … it just stops in the middle of nowhere. Not good.

No ending - SUCKS!!!!

good one

Anyone with the slightest writing talent could churn out ten of these a day. While the premise is a good one it's one of the laziest effort ever.

loved it.

Ed

One of the tags for this is revenge? I’ve read it through a couple of times but still don’t eee any?

Did you forget the rest?

Finish it!!!!!!!

Well … I wanted to give it a five…I really tried my best to give it a five…but my fingers could only give it a zero. I would really need another complete story to keep going !

4 Stars as I missed him kicking his wife to the curb . Ask My Ex what happened when I caught her and her Lover .

Nice intro only

So where is the story

Good start, but where's the rest of it?

That was a great flash. It's only a problem for the imagination impaired.

Finish the darn story

Liked what was there but was too short & unfinished, thereby not getting a 5 in my book. I will, however, give it a 4, (almost a 3, because of the story line (despite the above mentioned items) & your writing. Hope you do a 2nd part.

Sorry, too short for a 5. You cant get any depth to a short short story. I never care for that whole 750 word thing.

We. Retail h agree with another anonymous. If you want ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, actually write a complete story with an actual ending!!!!!

Enough of this haphazard partial BS crap that you seem to rush to publish in a half a$$ manner with NO complete story and NO complete ending.

It ould be sooooo amazing and probably rewarding if you cut ally wrote a total complete story for yourself AND for your supposed reader fan club. We foolish believe that it is WE who you may be actually writing for - unless your holding up a mirror to your words????

This is so average and could be so good if you actually put in a bit more thought and effort….

If u need another five … how about respecting ur audience by putting some effort not to leave an unfinished story???

"Kids say the darnedest things!" - Art Linkletter

U would get better numbers if u would finish the stupid story for once, really just lame crap

Your readers want an ending, DANG IT!

How about finishing the fucking story

Kids do indeed say the darndest things.

I'll give a "5" rating when you finish the story!

I think you need another day or two to finish this one. Two in one day is not your Forte.

Finish the damn story!

This could have been a good short story...but the author just couldn't finish it..........

Please finish the story, and re-post it. Thanks.

No me gustan las historias sin desarrollo ni desenlace, aunque hay a quienes les encantan porque les permite imaginar como continuaría y hacerlo a su gusto.DQD

Thanks! 5

"Out of the mouths of babes"

I'm wearing out these good old stories. Little kids are great ain't they.

I imagine her coming back in the room all cheerful not knowing why the atmosphere went to attic cold. Hilarious

If he involved the kids in lying to cover up his affairs

It was good as is but could have been much better.

"I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!"

I was working my way through your stories I just cant be arsed to continue reading anymore. Most of the stories I read so far dont have satisfactory endings and character conclusions. Maybe you have improved on stories after this but I am sorry to say I am done.

No more of your dtories for me, total waste of my time

Missing a bit of story here.

Gave you my 5. Always enjoy a Brit perspective.

If you're not going to finish a story, headline that fact first, save a lot of wasted time, I don't want it left open-ended, feels like lazy writing

As the makings of a good story if it was added to.

Great job. From the mouth of babes.. .

.......... so is the slut.

Either write a full story or don't bother.

I read to be told a story, not make up scenarios myself.

if you can't write a complete story, don't start one.

I've read a couple of your stories, and they're great. Great kids in this story though.

If you are going to write then maybe you should finish the story!!!

The evil of teaching two preschool age kids to lie to their dad is hard to beat.

Great story. I'm not sure if this one is headed for divorce or reconciliation, but her reputation is ruined as far as her family and neighbors go. "Hello, let me introduce you to my daughter Jan the adulterous slut" - a great way for mom or dad to introduce her at public events... You can't call her a whore unless she accepts payment of some type.

5***** all the way! I love a story where an innocent reveals layers of evil. Beneath this story is the fact that the mother made her kids complicit in her actions.

Maybe an old plot, but never told better. Good again on second read.

More of a theme already used too many times. This writer would get more encouragement were he/she to be more original. One star for this cookie-cutter effort.

I feel like a guest who knows the guest whose new job and farewell were being celebrated. Once the hosts' baby girl published the news, the celebration was over. Involved family would stay for dealing and later healing; for the rest, the party was over. As I walk out to my ride I shake my head at the new picture revealed: a "faithful wife" who every week is another man's slut in her marital bed, and a "loving mother" who not only leaves her little ones on their own while she cheats with a man they call Uncle but who compels her children to keep this foul secret from their father.

I credit the writer's skill that I'm intrigued enough to want to see the blood on the floor, but why? When Jan shows up at the end and sees who's there and who isn't, she knows -- doesn't want to recognize it but knows that she's blown and that it's time for the pain.

Four year olds don't know the days of the week like Lilly is supposed to.She might get one right occasionally,but she wouldn't be able to recognise every Tuesday in a row.

5 stars favorite

I have extremely torturous endings. No mild wimpy endings extreme punishment

Needs to be finished

Needs more