Noah's Starship Ch. 01

"Sorry!" he said as the professor paused to glare with annoyance, but he just kept on scraping the tile until his desk was wedged between me and the girl. She moved over with a huff.

Navid slid in with the biggest smile like he'd just done a trick. I laughed inappropriately loud and lost all thought of him as a friend. He gave my shoulder a squeeze as we turned our focus back to the lecture.

I'd completely forgotten about the day-before-quiz until the end of class when the professor started handing them out as we exited. Navid went for ours and his jaw dropped when he unfolded it.

"I am luckiest man alive! I just won a textbook. Noah Kinney!" He said excitedly as he came over with a laugh. He held it up and I saw we'd scored 99%.

"No, no way! That was perfect. What did we lose points on?" I grabbed the quiz from him and my body tensed up as he picked up my textbook and pretended to appraise it with a careful eye. I ignored his jokes and tore through the quiz to find out he was using an archaic rule on commas. The professor must have had an old copy of the textbook he used to make this quiz.

"Ugh. No, that's picky! I can show him he's wrong!" I turned and started towards where the professor was talking to some students. I was all set to show him the exact section of the textbook and how he was wrong. I was pissed and my cheeks felt warm. I do not lose points.

Navid read my anger though and stopped me. He blocked my path and put his hand in the center of my chest. His warmth spread over me and I felt my anger subside. I'd stay for him.

"It is ok Noah," He whispered in a low, authoritative tone and for the first time he looked at me without his playful grin. "Settle, sweet boy. It is ok. I was just playing with you. Bet is off. 99 is a great score!"

"He's wrong though. I can prove it." I looked down at his hand and then back to his face as he made no plan to let me move forward.

Navid slid his hand up my chest leaving a trail of goosebumps across my skin. He laid his grip on the back of my neck and pulled me towards his chest to soothe my anger. He put his chin on my shoulder as he pulled me in for a hug and whispered into my ear, "It is one point Noah, don't prove you're right over one point right now and have him take many more points away in the future to get back at you. It's ok. The book is yours."

Navid held me there for another second and I know he had to feel me poking against his thigh. He rubbed my back to soothe what he thought was my anger. He didn't realize I'd lost it all in his embrace. Nothing mattered but his touch.

"I promised you my book and now it's yours," I shook my head and said with a smile when he finally let me go. His shoulders relaxed as he read my calm.

"We will share my new textbook, Noah. I am a very generous man!" his smile returned and he picked it up off my desk. "You will keep it with you and we will meet to read and learn from it together. But I need something from you to know that you will keep it safe."

"Like what? A deposit?" I'd lost my anger and was once again charmed by his flirting nature.

"Your phone number," he fished his phone from his pocket. It had been there all this time disguised behind his bulge. "Enter please or you may not leave with my book. I can't go loaning it out to just anyone," his smile spread clear across his face.

"Should I erase my name from the inside?" I felt a deep blush settle in across my cheeks.

"You wrote in my book! I should have you flogged!" he looked alarmed and opened the book cover with a fake look of annoyance as he shook his head at me.

"Sorry," I hung my head and covered my tent.

"We will discuss your punishment over lunch. Come. It will do us both good to eat." He lifted his backpack and handed me back the textbook.

+++

We spent the next few weeks like that - a sea of mixed messages that always left me hard and wanting more. He never talked about girls or sex, but it was definitely more than friendship and he always kept me at his side when his pack of friends was around us.

He came over regularly to study with me. He really did need the tutoring, and it was a nice excuse to have him there. He even started to bond with my dad which was a little odd. They talked about sports, classic cars, anything and everything. It was like watching an odd chemical reaction. They'd go off in bro-speak together while I stood there pretending to get it until my dad would say, "Well you guys better get to studying before it gets too late."

Then we'd go off to my room and go through my notes for awhile until we wandered off on to other topics and ended up just watching stupid youtube clips on his phone. We'd have to get close of course to see the small screen. He'd always put an arm around me and held the phone just right so I'd have to lean over his chest to see.

Once he even kissed the top of my head when I'd yawned while he showed me clips of some soccer match, but it never led to anything. He even mentioned that I yawned like his youngest brother. He got a little choked up when talking about being so far away from his family and often compared me to his little brother.

+++

My best friend was getting annoyed at my constant time with Navid. Erik texted me angrily a few times when I declined hanging out with him at the coffee shop and then again when he and the guys wanted to go to the theme park for Gay nights. I didn't want to give up time with Navid and I knew he would not want to hang out with my loud gay friends. Maybe I was embarrassed by them and Navid and I had never talked about my sexuality. I wouldn't even know how to bring it up.

It all came down on a Thursday when Navid and I had just sat down to share some nachos after class. I saw Erik come in with Miguel and some other guys to the food court area. He spotted me and waved excitedly with a smile. He came right up to our table as the other guys went towards the restaurants.

"Noah! I got the tickets for tomorrow night!" He had a big smile and bit his lip expecting a rush of excitement from me.

"Oh!" I said not knowing what he was talking about. He picked up on it immediately and his shoulders slumped as annoyance filled his face.

"You forgot. I've been talking about Ryan's premiere for weeks! It's going to be THE gay event of the semester!" Erik flared his eyes at me in anger. He'd said the "G" word and I immediately looked over at Navid who eyed Erik like he was a strange animal.

I jumped up with a "Hey!" and rushed Erik to move him away from the table. I turned to Navid and said, "Just give me a minute, please?"

Navid looked back and forth between us with that same strange look and my heart nearly broke in half. I prayed it hadn't sunk in and he didn't get up and walk away from me in disgust. I couldn't bare his disapproval.

"You can't just drop everyone over that lunk. He's hot. I get that, but we're your friends. You can't just forget about people who care about you for the first cute guy who gives you attention," Erik said angrily as we made it away from Navid's eyes and ears.

"Please don't be mad at me. I haven't talked about the gay thing with him. I just can't. Things are going so well between us," I begged.

"Yeah ok this is more fucked up than I thought. You don't think he knows what you are? Or how you feel about him?" Erik asked.

"I don't know. I just... We haven't talked about it. I like him SO much. Please!" I held my hands up and Erik looked at my palms distractedly.

"Does he know about these?" Erik took my hand and traced a finger over the three tiny crescent scars in each of my palms where I used to dig my fingernails in too hard when I had anxiety. "Does he know anything about you?"

I pulled my hand back. "That's not fair. I..."

"What this means?" I heard Navid's voice from behind me and he pulled my hand to look. He traced a finger over the small crescents. They were barely noticeable, but now they seemed blindingly red. He looked at me with sorrow and pity and confusion.

"No, please," I pulled my hand back with a whisper and looked down at my feet as my heart started to pound in my ears. I wanted to melt into the wall.

"It's what he used to do when he'd get nervous or too anxious. But maybe YOUR Noah doesn't do that!" Erik looked at Navid with anger.

"I didn't know. You are ok, Noah?" Navid put a hand on my back and held me protectively.

"I... have to go," I pulled away and ran for my backpack. I turned and saw they were both standing there looking at me with surprise.

"Hey Noah! I haven't seen you in forever," Miguel called from my side as he held a tray with french fries.

I gave him a quick look with crazy eyes. I shook my head and tore out of there and ran to my bus stop.

+++

I didn't know how I'd ever face him again and I was so pissed at Erik. My dad could read it on my face when he came home and found me making dinner. He kept poking me to talk about it.

"Just had an argument with Erik. It's nothing," I stirred the macaroni as my dad leaned back against the counter and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I wish you wouldn't hang around him so much. Navid seems like a much better influence. He has goals and works hard. He's the kind of friend you should have... but I know you need friends who are into the things you like. He's been by your side for years. You can't just drop him," My dad said and gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"What if I... What if I wanted more from Navid?" I didn't know why I said that, and regretted it instantly.

"Oh... Noah," My dad sighed as he understood. He moved in and put his head on my shoulder.

"What if I wanted that and he didn't even know I like guys and he found out and... I'd just die, Dad." I shook my head and choked on my words.

"Noah, you can't force someone to like you a certain way. You can't even force them to like you at all. You do have to be yourself though. Failing feels bad, but failing while trying to be someone you're not is much worse. It hurts way more. If he doesn't like you as you are, then he's not worth being your friend." Dad put his head on my shoulder to let me know he was there.

"As for the feelings you have for him. He's a man, Noah... a full grown adult. You're so young, Noah. I think he sees you as a little brother. You're still my little guy. You're not ready for that... I mean, I'm not ready for that. Can't you just be a kid for a little while longer? Would ice cream help?" He laughed to let me know he was joking.

We ate dinner in front of the tv and he tried to find a show I would like. I tried to act like I was ok, because my dad likes it when he thinks he has solved my problem. I knew this one was out of his area. I didn't expect Navid to show up for our nightly study session. I expected him to ignore me and find someone else to hang out with. But he didn't.

At 7, his usual time, Navid knocked at our door. My dad answered it and talked for a few minutes like nothing weird had happened. They sported on about the baseball game my dad was currently missing in order to watch some comedies that made me feel better while we ate dinner.

They came through to the living room and Navid's smile faded to a look of concern. We stared at each other in silence.

"Do you two want to study here while I clean up?" My dad said, thinking he'd better stick around in case Navid broke my heart.

"No, Mr. Kinney," Navid interjected. "If it is ok with you, Noah and I have much to go over. I very much need his help and his room is quieter. If it is ok with you, sir."

He was always so careful to be respectful to my dad, and he looked at me imploringly.

"Sure, it's ok, dad," I offered as a lump grew in my throat.

"Ok then, I'll catch up on the game while you guys go study," My dad said and looked at me with eyes that said, 'I hope you're ok.'

As I headed off with Navid behind me, my dad put a hand on Navid's arm and whispered what sounded like, "Be gentle, he's young."

I turned in time to see Navid nod with a solemn look and mouth, "Of course."

We padded off to my room and Navid closed the door behind us. He flopped down on my bed and patted for me to squeeze into his side, but I hung back.

"Please," he started. "We talk best like this and I miss you."

I knelt beside him on my bed and looked down at his strong chest.

"You left me so suddenly. It left me sad and worried," he said and pulled me down against his chest. I laid my head on his shirt and looked across at the wall.

"I'm sorry. I got so embarrassed and couldn't look at you anymore," I admitted.

"He's not a nice friend, Noah. I don't think he likes me and he upset you. That bothers me more," Navid rubbed my back and I closed my eyes against his heartbeat.

"He's been my best friend forever," I whispered.

He took my hand and opened it as he rubbed a finger over the small crescents. I looked up to see him studying them with sadness.

"You don't do this anymore?" It was half question and half imperative. "If you feel anxiety, you will talk to me about it. ok?"

I nodded like it was something I could control. I swallowed hard and said, "You still want to be my friend?"

"I have to be, you still have my book," his dry wit cracked through my tension. I laughed and tried to pull my hand back.

He didn't let it go. He kissed my palm gently and then closed my fingers over it. He gave a soft kiss to each finger as goosebumps sprang up along my neck.

"You are my friend, Noah Kinney, and I am yours. I will take care of you like a brother. It is not something I can walk away from," Navid assured. The word brother stung a little bit, but I'd take what I could get.

+++

On Saturdays, Navid played soccer in a local club of Muslim guys. I'd seen the pictures in his online stream that he still didn't know I stalked daily. He looked so hot in his blue soccer team's uniform. His black hair was all tousled and sweaty from running around and pushing it back out of his face. He kept it shaved on the sides, but the top was wild and curled when he didn't straighten it out with gel.

He invited me to go watch his game that Saturday, but it was on the other end of the valley and I didn't know the bus system too well outside of my area.

"No, Noah Kinney, I will come to you. Your father has said it is ok," he said when we got to that place outside our class where I went left to the bus and he went right for the garage. He gave me a pat on the back and then walked away with his friends. I thought it was odd that he'd talked to my dad, but it didn't seem that out of place for him.

Saturday morning he was there at my door in a black tank top and red shorts stretched in front by his bulge. I wondered how he carried that around with him everywhere and where he put it when playing soccer. He exchanged a few pleasantries with my dad and we were off.

He drove a stick-shift and thumped loud hip hop as we made our way across the valley. In my 19 years I hadn't been to many places. My dad has a sister whose family lives in Ventura and we go there for some holidays. His older brother lives near Vegas so we made it out there a few times. But I'd never been to the park he took me too.

"You know how to shift, Noah?" he said to me as we roared onto the 405.

"No, it looks complicated," I admitted and once again felt like his world was so much cooler than mine.

"No, not at all," he let go of it and told me to grab it. I put my hand on the knob and he covered it with his. He laced his fingers through mine and I felt my cock lurch anxiously in my shorts. He talked me through it as he pushed the stick up and down, left and right.

I didn't hear any of it. All I knew was how nice his hand felt holding mine. He was a little sweaty as he squeezed my hand and shifted around expertly. His car responded every time and we flew down the open freeway.

We drove right up to the mountains where the valley starts to twist angrily towards the sky. Little houses perched precariously above the winding road as he zipped through it in his old but well-kept sportscar.

"Here," he said as he made a sharp turn into a small parking lot on the edge of a cliff. Below us was a sea of green grass formed into baseball diamonds and soccer fields. We were up above it all and he slid the car into a spot where there were no trees to mess up his shine.

I felt a sharp disappointment in my chest when he shifted into park and took his hand off of mine.

"C'mon, I want to show you something! My favorite spot that no one has seen before," he jumped out and went to the back of the car as I scrambled to follow him.

He pulled a sports bag and a grocery store bag out of the trunk and balanced them as he fumbled with the keyfob to lock the car. I offered to help, but he looked at me like I was crazy and set off for a small opening between two ancient, gnarled trees.

I followed him up the little pathway that turned into stone steps and then off on a side dirt trail through thick foliage. It was a hike and I wished I'd worn something other than skater shoes. He kept warning me to step carefully and then checking behind him to make sure I was ok.

"This, Noah Kinney, is where I come when I need to," he said as the trees gave way to a small clearing of grey stone that jutted out about 6 feet and then dropped off about 600. It was amazingly beautiful. I could see all the way to Burbank. He pointed with a smile as an airplane made its way across the dramatic backdrop of the San Gabriel mountains. Below us were the sports fields, a lake, little people running along the trails. To the right was a sleepy freeway chugging along into the morning sun.

"When you need to what?" I asked.

"Think, pray, listen to music, study, whatever. No one comes up here," Navid said. I turned to see he had taken a small, thick blanket from his gym bag and spread it out over the rock.

"Navid..." I started and he turned to look at me. "Thank you, it's amazing." He just shrugged with a smile. He squatted down on the blanket and started taking little plastic boxes out of the grocery bag.

"We will have a snack before the game. Come and sit, Noah," he patted the blanket and I walked over, slipped off my shoes and knelt down beside him.

We spent about an hour there eating dates, walnuts, and some Persian things I couldn't identify. We talked about his game, the class, jokes, everything but what I wanted us to talk about. I couldn't complain though. He certainly had planned a beautiful morning for us.

When he spotted his teammates pulling up in the parking lot below us, he grabbed his gym bag and backed away towards the trees. He didn't go out of my sight though and I pretended not to watch as he slid off his tank top and then the red shorts. I pretended not to see the massive bulge in his tight, sporty boxer briefs. But I looked straight at him when he stuck his hand in them to wrestle his cock into a comfortable position. He looked at me too, but we didn't say anything about it.

He slid on the blue soccer uniform I had seen in his online photos. He smoothed out his jersey over his hard little pecs. He came back and sat on the blanket again as he rolled on blue socks up to his knees and tied his soccer shoes. I used the time to pack up the empty containers back into the grocery bag. He packed away the blanket and then carried it all back down the hill as he kept a hand on my arm so I wouldn't slide on the steep terrain.

He loaded up the trunk and then we headed down to the field. I sat on the sideline where a row of benches was under the shade trees. I spent the next two hours pretending like I cared about and understood soccer. He was an amazing player to watch. He was never more than a few feet away from the action and he was aggressive with the other team. He didn't score any goals, but his team did.