All Comments on 'Nobody's Child'

good read , just felt a bit rushed

I have to agree with the anonymous commenter. You've got the makings of a good story here with a wonderful premise, but it's so rushed that you don't really get to feel anything for the characters. Even in the passages describing sex, it's one or two lines for each act, then they're done. And in the world you've built to that point, it sure doesn't seem to me that they'd be just wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am about it with their emotional connection. There are quickie stories and then there are stories that need description. This one is the latter.