All Comments on 'Now Put Your Nurses Uniform On...'

Please continue with this and hopefully explain some of the why's

This has the makings of a good story, but with some major flaws:

1. The description of Bradley’s parents’ escape from Saigon was waaaaaaaay too long and added nothing at all to the story.

2. Why on earth did Bradley have to dress up as a nurse?

3. Why are there so many damn exclamation marks??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!! It seems that every line that is spoken is accompanied by a completely unnecessary and inappropriate exclamation mark.

In addition to some of the other grammar/sentence structure comments, I found the first person, third person, back to first person stuff a little hard to read. But like I said in the title, Great Start. I believe this could develop into a very good series. More involved than just a master nation story, but please do not leave out the sex. You have to reward your reader with more than just a tease.

good start needed the background foundation to understand everything because I hope this not a 2 or 3 part story but maybe a short novel

Hi need more back round on why!

Alot of questions need to answered. Story doesn't make alot sense.

Your very long winded but not in a good way.

To many quick ideas and it felt like you were rushing to see how many convoluted ideas you could cram on two pages.

I think a little more objective criticism is always going to be useful to this brand-new and inexperienced author, so perhaps dialling-back on the attacks and objectively pointing-out where room for improvement lies is probably going to repay a higher dividend in the long run. Yes, there are portions of the narrative that seem disjointed and rushed, and yes, I think the author's got that, and if he/she has any regard for the readership, they will address those issues.

I would suggest this story could perhaps benefit from being taken down, re-edited, and reposted, but that's up to the author, but still a creditable effort from a new-minted contributor.

Can I start by thanking you for your very kind comments and encouragement. You are absolutely right, I am a brand new author on the internet. I have only got six days experience of releasing my stories and any helpful hints like yours are greatly appreciated. I do smile to myself when some people are so rude and malicious about other people's stories. These critics seem for forget that we are releasing these stories for free and they are only but stories. I am so grateful for your comments and advice. It's really encouraging, to receive support like this.

Now for clarification of my heading. I came across you by accident because TS and CD stories are in the same category and in many cases you don’t know what they are until you are into the story. In my comments I think that I’ve been successful in setting aside my natural bias and commented objectively.

“The Landlady” has a plot and a possible future but the other two seemed to be in the middle of nowhere with nowhere to go. My personal opinion and others will disagree.

The plot of “Nurses Uniform” actually reads like the pilot episode of a television series and I don’t mean that in a sarcastic or derogatory way at all. But this site is called Literotica and even the last paragraph couldn’t be described as erotic.

I’m not going to repeat comments others have made but would say that I doubt that many of the more experienced and well appreciated writers on here hit the ground running with their first attempts. I wouldn’t be surprised if some authors have changed their name so they’re not identified with their earlier work.

I’ve just submitted my first offering and I have no illusions about my talents compared with many other authors on here. I hope to improve with practice. But, like you, I will be looking for constructive criticism. I’d rather be told how bad my work is than be told nothing. As long as what I’m told is constructive.

Good luck and don’t be put off by negative criticism. Many of those that anonymously write something like “what a load of crap” and nothing else probably don’t have the imagination or courage to do anything themselves.

more chapters good story

Could be the beginning of something big, I just hope there are plans for more.

Bit of an adventure too. Seems like a page out of a novel. Really needs another chapter or two.

Sequel would be appreciated

It’s a shame that you just abandon stories. What you write is great but you fail as a writer when you start a story and abandon it. Maybe you should complete a story before you publish it since you can’t seem to continue on one you publish a chapter. At this point, I’d block you to prevent getting interested in one of your stories and be disappointed that you abandoned it.