Of All People

"I think mom mentioned it but it may not have registered, but Christie and I want to start a family."

"Mom did mention that a few days ago. I assume you're looking at adoption."

"That's one possibility but not our first choice. We'd actually prefer to have some, or rather as much of a biological connection as possible, so we're actually looking at...using a donor."

Katie got it before I did, I think, as she suddenly inhaled a deep breath. Hannah and Christie were trying to look at me to gauge my reaction but the truth was I hadn't yet realized what was going on, so I sounded kind of stupid when I answered.

"That's interesting. Which one of you plans to carry the baby?"

At this point Katie decided to take pity on her poor, idiotic husband and clear the air for me. She grasped my head in her hands and looked me straight in the eye.

"They want you to father the baby, honey. And that would mean Christie would carry the baby." She paused, and then turned to them. "That is what it means, right?"

"Yes, that's what it means. Christie is going to carry the baby and be a stay-at-home mom since I earn more than enough to support the family."

"Look, I don't think that'll work. I want all of my babies to be with Katie and raised by us. I can't see being comfortable with doing that. I mean, why me anyway?"

"You're my twin, Henry. Our DNA is practically identical. It's the closest Christie and I can be to having a baby of our own. Obviously I can't father a baby but this would be the next best thing."

"You know, they have sperm banks or whatever they call them that exist just for this reason."

"We don't want some stranger, Henry," Christie said, speaking for the first time. "We want the father of our children to be someone we know and love. If you want to be a part of his or her life, that's great. If not, if it would be too hard, then we can handle that, too. Hannah and I can't just have a baby by ourselves so we want it to be you."

"You don't have to answer right now," Hannah interjected. "Take some time and think about it if you need to. We wanted to ask you face to face but you can go back home and talk it over."

My mind was a puddle right now. My father just died a week ago or so, and it's only been a day since my 5-year feud with them ended, and now I'm on the receiving end of a request like this. I could barely think straight and the words popped out before I had a chance for them to register in my brain or stop them from leaving my mouth.

"I'm not fucking Christie."

All three women started laughing like this was the most ridiculous thing ever said, and in hindsight maybe it was. Katie just looked at me and said:

"I'll second that, baby, but I think they were planning on in-vitro fertilization, not the natural way."

As my obvious blunder was pointed out to me I could just lower my head and chuckle at what I had said. Of course it would be that way.

"All I can say is that we'll think about it. I can tell you that my first inclination is to say no, but Katie and I will talk it over and let you know our decision."

*****

That night Katie and I relaxed in bed, our last of the trip. We were gently kissing, more as a show of affection than as foreplay. Finally the topic was broached.

"So, what do you think about what they asked you?"

Frankly I hadn't given it much thought. I didn't want to simply reject them right away; that would have been insensitive. But I had no intention of fathering kids with anyone but Katie and I assumed she felt the same way.

"The baby thing? Just trying to decide the best way to tell them no."

"You're gonna turn them down?"

"You want me to do it?"

"It's not up to me, baby. It's your choice."

"Oh no you don't. This isn't like deciding whether to bring Chinese or Mexican food home for dinner. This is a major life decision. You don't get to just leave it up to me. I assumed we were of the same mind but it sounds like you think I should do it."

"I don't know about that, babe, but I don't think you should just dismiss it. I mean, there's a certain...poetry to the idea. It's almost like Hannah's the baby's father, at least at the DNA level. It's much better you than some stranger who donated his sperm for fifty bucks."

"But it would be like having a kid with another woman. I mean, I know it's different. We won't have sex and it's just a clinical procedure, but it will still be another baby with my DNA that didn't come from you. I don't like that idea."

"Technically that's true, but it's practically Hannah's DNA as well, just like she said. And the baby would still be in the family. It's not like this is some stranger."

"It sounds like you want me to do it."

Katie rolled her naked body up on top of me. She kissed my cheeks and my neck and played with my ears. She knows I'm a sucker for that.

"Think about how much you love our babies, Henry. Then think about how you'd feel if you couldn't have any. I know it's not exactly the same thing, but just think about that. It's something a lot of people go through: wanting to have kids but for some reason not being able to."

"But they can, Katie. I wouldn't be stopping them from having kids."

"Would you want to have kids with just anyone, baby? Would you be okay with just randomly picking someone based on genetic markers and hoping things work out? I know there aren't any guarantees but wouldn't you want it to be someone you know and love. Isn't that what makes our kids, our family, so special. I love you so much and you love me, and our kids can feel that. Can you see how you being the biological father and being so close to Hannah on that level would make this so special for them?"

Obviously I had misread Katie's feelings on this matter. Despite her avoiding actually saying she wanted me to do it, she was making it clear that that was exactly what she wanted me to do. Then I realized it was her caretaker nature that led to her wanting to help others if it was in her power. It's what made her a great nurse and an exceptional mom.

"Okay baby, I'll really think about. You've made some good points that I hadn't really considered. We've got a long day tomorrow. Let's get some sleep."

*****

Epilogue

In the end I decided to do it, but some changes took place before it happened. One of the things that bothered me was the idea of a child I had fathered, even if I wasn't its 'father', growing up without my presence in her or her life. I was never the guy that could have walked away from a child if I had knocked a girl up by mistake and this felt the same to me. So changes needed to be made.

It took a few months to make the necessary arrangements, but I was able to get a position back in my original hometown office. Even before my father had passed, my company had started seeing an uptick in business as we started expanding some operations overseas. This led to some expansion in that office as it was to serve as the domestic liaison to the European offices, and also some of the staff would be going over to help with the transition.

So about 16 months after Hannah and Christie had made their initial request, Christie was confirmed to be pregnant with a child via sperm donated by me and Katie. (I know, the sperm came from me, but I saw it as a gift from both of us). And now that I was living just two blocks from my mom's house, I'd be able to see my niece or nephew regularly and be able to provide a male influence.

I should also mention that about a month before Christie was confirmed to be pregnant, Katie had the same news. Now, I love my girls more than I could have imagined was possible, but I've got two shots at bringing a little more testosterone into the family and I'm really hoping at least one of them cooperates.

But I'm told it won't be my last chance. Hannah and Christie want at least two and Katie says she thinks 5 sounds like a really good number. I'm going to be exhausted, but I love my family and it's worth it.

*****

fin