All Comments on 'Olivia in Vulmonia Ch. 14'

Hello Ellis_Morgan,

First and foremost I apologize for my bad English, it's just not my mother tongue.

I like a good (public) humiliation fanatsy from time to time and yours is pretty good to outstanding.

The only thin I would urge you to do ist to find "the way out" for this one. The problem with (public) humiliation stories is, that they decline often into escalating downward spirals where the author needs to go gradually more extreme because, why would the author bother to tell the same thing twice.

The effect of this can be twofold: Or the author get bored/stuck and never really finishes the storyarc. And/or the story get's so extreme that even the last shade of realism get's lost and the 'victim' is put in such situations that no living soul would get through mentally unharmed. (honestly I fell with my own stories in both of the traps therefore I would really like to warn you about them)

Therefore I would really advice you to "go with your story home" rather sooner than later. Go through with the punishment, let her be evicted from Vulmonia (it is usual all over the world to evict convicted criminals) If you really like to stretch the story you can describe her ordeal in eviction prison as sort of epilogue but then let Olivia go.

Having a really finished public humiliation story of this quality to your name wouldn't be a small feat.

Sincerally yours,

Tom

Tom,

Thank you for your thoughtful and articulate comment. (Your English is excellent! No need to apologize.)

I think you made some great points in your comment. And your advice about ending the story sooner, before it becomes too unrealistic, is very sound advice!

The thing is, I've already plotted out the rest of the story. I've written outlines for each of the chapters. I have even written the last chapter / epilogue. Maybe it seemed like I was meandering in the last couple of chapters. But I do actually know where I want the story to go.

It's not written in stone, of course. The plot could possibly change as I continue to write. I might even decide to write a completely different ending if I feel I want to change the story. But for now, I want to write the story I have planned.

But thanks so much for your comment and advice! I agree that with public humiliation stories, the situations that the characters find themselves in can get pretty ridiculous. You're right that in order to avoid repetition, there's a tendency to increase the intensity of the humiliation with each subsequent chapter until the character's ordeal is simply too extreme.

I'm afraid I'm already in ridiculous territory with Olivia's extreme public punishment. However, I hope that the "ridiculousness" is mitigated, at least somewhat, by the fact that the story's taking place in a fictitious country with very backward laws and regressive attitudes toward gender roles.

Anyway, thanks again! I appreciate feedback!

Morgan