All Comments on 'On Your Knees Ch. 01'

too short

At this rate, he'll be an old man before it's over. You can write, but this isn't War and Peace!

1. Authors can always choose how long their chapters are whether its one sentence or eighty pages so stop whining, but please keep reading.

2. What are you trying to tell me? I wrote in the note, hey I'm building up my story. Do I bore you? Otherwise, keep reading and be patient. There are stories that have shaky starts that still blow you away.

:D thank you for reading..or scrolling to the bottom of the page

P.S. STAY TUNED!

It reads well so far. I'll be looking for the next chapter.

The stage is set. I can't wait to see how it plays out.

for the next chapter. Very good start. I'm looking forward to the action.

Don't feel the need the justify yourself to negative comments. Just ignore them.

Your character's are pretty well written and sound like actual people; they have amusing stand out traits which hopefully won't make them 1-dimensional and just help get them across to the reader. I do agree with you: chapters are as long or short as you want them and building is important but just don't over think things; go on your first hunch and let your mind run wild. good story so far; keep on writing!

your friend

The Batman

I love the story thus far. It's very detailed for your first erotica. The scenes are visceral and really grab and keep my attention. I would like to say that chapter 2 is out of the blue. Not only does the POV change from 3rd person to 1st person, but the characters also change (unless the Mistress is Nicole as well but it is never mentioned.) While I liked the chapter, it seems detached from the rest of the story. I also noticed that you sometimes jump the time frames by using a new line and an asterisk. Sometimes, this type of transition leaves me confused. In one of the chapters the formatting wasn't exactly the same and I was left bewildered at the sudden change in place.

Other than the POV, transition discrepancies, and some word omissions, the story is written well and I can't wait for more :)

Maybe the sex scene will slap me in the face, but part one does nothing to draw me in.

You haven't indicated who'll be dominant - or for that matter, even whether part two will involve these two characters!

Not only is there no sex, there's no tease, and no story.

And honestly, I don't even want to read stories about people who get all pedantic about the use of perfectly good words like "ain't". It certainly IS a word.

How is any of this bdsm?!?

Another spineless pussy