All Comments on 'Once Before'

Well I going to give it a 25, but I'll give you a little more. The flow of the story is too sporadic. I think you have some good ideas, you just need to develop them more. Let the reader appreciate each idea before you jump right into a other one. Also, I don't understand your title. There are a few typos and grammatical issues, but the main problem is that its too short. If you develop your ideas more, you should be able to fix that.