All Comments on 'Once Upon a Time Pt. 02'

This is a fine synopsis of consequences.

This is🇳🇴🇹 a story.

B_Bailey, I am not trying to be hurtful. This just didn't work. No emotional connection to the protagonist. Nothing erotic in either chapter. Just a list, they did that and then I did this.....

Again I'll say it and not just to you B_Bailey; creative writing classes and english composition classes and write, share with friends, re-write share again, write some more, etc, etc. Don't forget good software too,lol.

Good luck B_Bailey.

Read you again, probably sooner rather than later and better❗

AMerryman

The reader was given no way to connect with the characters.

Dialogue would have helped a great deal.

*****That was a very entertaining follow-up to a good read. Thanks for sharing.