One Day at a Time

"I have something to tell you."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You're going to be my first. I've never had full-on sex before. I've also never taken a load in my mouth before you, so I know for a fact I'm clean. I trust you, and I love you. Will you allow me the honor of giving you my seed, Alice?"

I kissed him, my tongue dueling with his. I had never been somebody's first, and never had sex bare. I would do both for Vik in a heartbeat.

We got out of the shower and dried off as fast as we possibly could. Then we got into the bed.

We didn't go right for the sex. We had all day to enjoy ourselves. I went down on Vik. I would never get tired of him being in my mouth. Vik gave me a hand job, and, for the first time, worked my opening. He used a lot of lube and was gentle with me.

I gave a ragged exhale as Vik slipped a second finger inside me. His fingers brushed my prostate and I moaned. He got bolder from the encouragement, scissoring his fingers and poking gently against my sweet spot. It was too much when he had three fingers inside me while he was stroking my cock. I came, my release splattering against my skin. I was loosened up, and we both had the edges of our arousals taken off. I waited for him to make the next move.

Vik grabbed my face and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Alice, my love, my darling. Please, may I make love to you?"

I kissed his nose. "Yes, Vik."

I laid on my back and pulled my knees towards my chest.

He got into position, pouring lube all over his dick and pushing more of it into my hole. He looked he dead in the eye.

"I love you, Alice."

He pushed forward, increasing his pressure until the head popped in, making us both moan. He waited a bit for me to adjust, then pushed in another inch or so. This process repeated until he was buried to the hilt. He leaned down and kissed me before he began moving.

He was slow and gentle, making sure to hit my g-spot with every thrust. It was sweet, but not what I wanted at the moment. After a few minutes of tender lovemaking I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed the back of Vik's neck and pulled him down until his face was a millimeter away from mine.

"Vik, I love you. I trust you. Stop holding back. No restraint, no regrets, remember? Go harder, go faster. Make me yours!"

My words set him off like a powder keg and he pounded into me. The power of it all was incredible. I'd never been so affected by sex before. No, it wasn't sex, he was making love to me.

He got down so he was on top of me, all of his weight resting on my body. His arms were around my shoulders and I clung to him. I didn't even think it was possible, but he started thrusting even harder. His tongue took over the inside of my mouth.

In both an eternity and no time at all, he got jerky in his movements, signaling his impending release. I was getting close, too.

"Vik! Give it to me!"

He thrust in me once, twice, three more times and we both exploded at the same moment. Every pulse of his release made his dick twitch against my sweet spot. Every pulse of my release made me squeeze my inner muscles and milk him. Our orgasms fed each other and for those seconds, we were joined. We were fused together into one being by pleasure and love.

He rolled off me and we both spent the next ten minutes trying to remember how to breathe. Vik was the first to speak.

"Second base isn't my favorite anymore."

I laughed.

He got us both on our sides and held my face in his hands. Over and over again he lightly kissed me. He whispered between each tap.

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..."

He kept going until we both dozed off.

We spent the rest of that Thursday napping, kissing, and fucking like rabbits, only stopping to eat food. It was a perfect day.

Vik gave his two weeks' notice the following day and we began our last two weeks as boyfriends before he had to leave. It was heartbreaking, almost too much to handle, when we thought about the looming expiration date, but we were happy as long as we just focused on one day at a time.

We went on dates often. We did have coffee with Tamara. We went on double dates with Cary and Danny. We went back to the gun range one day.

We also had sex as often as we could. I only fucked Vik once. We enjoyed it, but both agreed that the reverse was much, much better. I knew I was a bottom, and Vik turned out to be a top, so there was nothing to complain about.

The two of us tried not to talk about our impending split. We just tried to live in the moment and make the most of our time left. We only really ever talked with each other about Vik's new job once.

I was hanging around in Vik's apartment when he was out getting food the Tuesday before he had to leave. I had basically lived there in the past few days. Looking around, I saw something on a desk that I knew hadn't been there for very long. It wasn't out in the open, but it wasn't hidden, either.

It was a little jewelry box. Quickly I debated with myself if I should open it, but Vik was fine with me going around his home before that, so I gave into my curiosity. It was a black and silver ring with a crucifix carved into it. It was elegant and masculine.

I put it back and waited for Vik to return. After we ate, I asked about it.

"So, Vik, when did you get a ring? And why? Is there something you need to tell me?"

He laughed, but I could see him blush.

"It's, uh...it's...a purity ring." He smiled, a little embarrassed. "Once I move to LA I'm going completely celibate."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? You think you can handle it?"

"I know it won't be easy, but I have to go all in. I can't half-ass this; it's my calling. Some gay Christians choose celibacy, and I want to commit like that. I'm tired of walking the line and trying to have it both ways."

He glanced at me. "Besides, I think you may have ruined sex for me. I can't imagine anything out there that's better than what I've already done with you."

I leaned in and kissed him.

"Don't talk like it's over already."

He nodded. "You're right. I still have you now, that's what matters."

After our passionate lovemaking that night, we cuddled on his bed in the dark.

"Alice, have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Maybe a couple times."

"Clearly I haven't been doing it enough." He cradled my face. "I love you. I love everything about you. You've been a blessing. I thank God for you every day."

I smiled. "Thanks, Vik. Next time you do that, let Him know that I'm thankful for you, too."

"Why not just tell Him yourself?"

He held both of my hands and touched his forehead to mine. "Just once?" he asked.

I nodded and he spoke.

"Dear God in Heaven, this is Vik again, and this time I have a guest. It's Alice, my boyfriend, but you already knew that. I know you're probably sick of hearing this, but I just wanted to thank you for bringing him into my life. I love him so much. I'm beginning a new part of my journey soon, going off to LA to do your work, but I've had some of the best days of my life here with him. Thank you for loving a sinner like me enough to let me find love, if only for a while."

He looked at me and nodded once. It felt strange, but I started talking.

"Hey, God. I don't know if you're listening. I haven't really talked to you before. I do know how much of a part of Vik's life you are, though. So thanks. Thanks for Vik and thanks for the time we could be together."

Vik had tears in his eyes when I was done.

"Amen," he said.

The day arrived far too soon. Vik's flight was early on a Saturday morning, so we left for the airport long before the sun rose.

The ride was quiet. Not really awkward or uncomfortable, just quiet. Eventually I broke the silence.

"Are you nervous?"

He laughed without much humor. "I can hardly breathe, but I'm heading to where God wants me to be. I'm going all in."

"You're really keyed up for this, huh?"

"Absolutely. In my youth, there wasn't a gay Christian role model I could look up to or get advice from. I'm getting the chance to be that person so other kids won't have to feel so alone."

There was a pause. I chose my next words carefully.

"I know that this might not mean much coming from me, but I wish you nothing but the best with that. Honestly, I can't think of anybody better suited for that role than you, Vik."

He turned to look at me, smiling warmly, before returning his gaze to the road.

"You're wrong, Alice. It means a lot, more than you know."

Time passed, and before I knew it, we got to where Vik had to keep going and I couldn't follow him. He stood before me, tears shining in his warm gray eyes.

"I guess this is goodbye, Alice."

"No, this is 'see you later.' We'll still be friends."

He nodded. He walked up and wrapped me in his arms.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

For the final time, he held my face in his hands and kissed me. I didn't want it to end.

He pulled away and stared into my soul. His tears were falling freely. "I'll never forget you. You are my first, my last, my only."

I couldn't say anything. I just nodded, starting to tear up myself.

We had already agreed on what the last thing we'd do was. I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out his new purity ring. Looking into his eyes, I gently slid it onto the ring finger of his left hand.

We hugged.

"See you later, Alice."

"See you later, Vik."

He walked away, and I felt a piece of me leave with him. When he was out of sight, out of my life, I collapsed to the floor, crying. I cried harder than I ever had before. To my surprise, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a middle-aged woman I'd never met before. She still looked familiar, though.

Suddenly I realized why. She looked like Vik.

"Mrs. Matheson?"

She nodded.

"You could only be Alice. I've heard quite a bit about you."

It made sense that she would come to see her son off, but I don't think I expected her to go out of her way to comfort me, the man who represented a part of her son that she loved, but didn't approve of.

She just said one more sentence before walking away.

"Thank you for making my son happy."

I still felt like I was at my life's ultimate low point, but I felt a little bit better. After a bit I stood up and moved to leave the airport.

It's been hard, living without Vik. So often my life just feels empty. Lonely. Cold. I loved him, and I know that some part of me always will.

I was in a dark place that first week. I forgot to eat sometimes and didn't do much besides feeling sorry for myself.

Still, I knew that Vik would want me to move on, so I did, or tried to at least. I don't know if I can date again yet, but I know that eventually, I'll put myself back out there. Right now I'll just take solace with my friends, but one day I'll try to form the bond I'd had with Vik with somebody else.

In the meantime, things have been challenging, but doable. I don't know what the future holds for me, but right now I don't need to know that.

I just need to live my life, one day at a time.