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The sights and smells and awareness of our surroundings began to creep back in. I could start to feel the fabric of the chair against my back and butt. I could feel the weight of her body on my lap. I could smell the scent of her shampoo on the hair stuck to my sweaty face. I could feel the hair of my chest graze against the swell of her breasts. I took in all of it. Whether this moment of sexual bliss happened again in twenty minutes, or two months, or 10 years... or never... I didn't care. I had all I needed right then, and I was happy. "No regrets," she whispered into my ear as she held onto me, my cock still firmly embedded inside her. I squeezed my arms around her, feeling her hard nipples dig press into my chest. "No regrets," I whispered back.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 7 years agoFor a first effort, 5 Stars. If you were a seasoned writer I'd give it 4. It has nice flow and a setting that probably resonates with many.
For "next time" (and I hope you continue writing and polishing your obvious talent), I do have several constructive suggestions: The first is a bit less clichéd dialogue, and more focus on their emotions and feelings as they both become increasingly aroused, building to the climax they instinctively want. Keep in mind that great sex is a symbiotic partnership, so paint a more inclusive picture, rather than have it mostly *his* perspective. Rather than dialogue (too much of which distracts from the eroticism), you could insert her thoughts, emotions, what her body is experiencing. Finally, the "no regrets" ending is plausible but "Why did we wait so long?" would invoke delicious thoughts of what the future may bring.
