All Comments on 'Orc Dominion: Rebellion Afterward'

First of all, I enjoyed both series, but the idea of more depraved and humiliating sex with orcs would have been cool. I think the idea of the noble orc leader is too inspired to the way World of Warcraft handled things and not the D&D orcs I grew up reading and running in my RPGs.

Either way, thank again.

Probably not going to tell you anything you don't know or have already surmised. You are correct in your own criticism of the Kat and Gor story arc. Having known about their being spies and having secrets (especially one that could very well cost them their lives) would've done two critical things; one, draw in the reader as we get to share in something no one else knows as we now become compatriots as we are complicit in this knowledge and two it creates automatic drama. Without having to work at it a secret instantly embeds drama into a story and depending on how the characters fold out, we are wanting their secret either kept safe or exposed. Just think of shows like Sons of Anarchy and how most wanted Gemma's secrets exposed while not so much with Tara's.

As for ideas for your new story that's a little more difficult without greater insight but the first thing that comes to mind is a compatriot. Jerry Lee Lewis use to tell a story about he and two cousins sneaking out in the middle of the night to listen to music at a local Honky Tonk. All three were struck by the music in very different ways. One cousin was repelled and freighten by the music, so much so he went deep into the families religious roots, this was none other than Jimmy Swaggart. The other cousin loved the music and the vibe, people were alive and having fun, this was Micky Gilley, country musician and owner of his own Honky Tonk establishment in Branson, Missouri. And of course then there was Ol' Jerry Lee himself who went down the Rock n Roll road paved by corruption, sex, and drugs. The compatriot can lead the innocent to the well thinking they're going to simply be sipping at the cup of life, when after two or three sips and maybe a good gulp or two the innocent dives in the damn well head first.

As for the Orc self lubricating peice I had consider writing my own story following your inspiration and have quite a bit of back story info on that very idea. The story I'm writing has moved away from the erotic quite quickly so I'm not sure I will be using the information. I'd be glad to share if you're interested, just email me if you are, you can take from it what you will. It's funny how ideas form as the network of prostitutes initially played a role in the story I was developing but I slowed it down after it feeling too much like Conroy39's Orc Seed (Good read for anyone who liked your series).

What role will Susanna have in your net book. I've always favored her over Jennette

I largely agree with a lot of your points you made about the balance between plot and sex. Personally, I favor sex centered stories with plots to connect them as this is Literotica and orc domination is pretty hot. :)

My only suggestion to your writing is focus on what matters which is 'the human heart' as you make the characters as that's what makes them relatable. Characters become infinitely more interesting when they have their own sets of personal goals that intertwine and interact with others in almost predictable manners but done in intriguing ways. Cindy in particular interested me because she was a working girl that wanted to point out the orc injustice running amok in her home country. Her anger and tenacity made her really fun to observe. Kat and Gorath on the other hand I would never have suspected of ulterior motives because they really had no conflict in them. They were just fucking and fighting machines to me.

If I could make the a suggestion for the types of sex I like. I absolutely enjoy the humilation aspects of defeat for the losers and the blank check of domination for the victors. How this translates into the sex scenes is what does it for me. Rows of humans being chained together slaving away under the whips of an orc master as they enrich their orc masters is nonsexually very hot for me. Sex scenes that are non-consensual and rely on orcs getting pleasure while humans give them pleasure would be amazing. Cuckolding, cuckqueaning, force handjobs by reluctant human males to orcs, human female domination and other power dynamics that shift the normal human power structures would be great. I like unrealistic power like orcs just walking up to humans as ordering them to get on their knees and play with themselves because the society has changed so drastically. The darker the better, hah. What kinks are tolerated should be determined a lot by your reader's tastes but I hope you go wild and put what you love best down into writing and ignore people like me. I think passion is everything when writing sex.

Personally, I really do not like the soiled dove stuff as it feels very 'vanilla' and uninteresting to me. There is definitely a fanbase so you should continue it but I personally really like wild hot crazy sex in fantastical explicit orc domination and perversion. Whatever plot and intrigue that comes afterwards better be short and sweet between interesting characters. Human sex doesn't interest me as much because I can easily access that elsewhere hehe. I probably just like more kinky stuff than the average audience so there is that fine balance as well.

Overall, I feel you've grown a lot as a writer and your style could only improve from here. Thank you for all the hard work and you're the best for doing stories like this. Maybe going professional is a possibility if you aren't already are. I could imagine an orc dominion on TV. :)

I agree with points you made about story and story telling. Zentara was porney, while Rebellion, for the most part, had better written plot. Now, I think it's best to find a golden middle. As for kinky ideas... Well for most part I have nothing much to add, but I would be interested in feminization( I though Jeanette had something in mind for Daniels >:) ). I mean I could see some wimpy human or feminine elf guy in a dress get fucked in the ass by the orc,

Thanks for all the comments!

Anon,

I am afraid that Susannah will not have a large role to play in the next story. I am glad you enjoyed her storyline, but to be honest I had a difficult time writing her. As I said in the essay, her pacing was really off. By going to slow in the beginning, I had to go too fast in the end. She really should have had a fee chapters being a spy, a few as a camp whore, and a few as an orc whore. Either way I never really got a handle on what to do with her.

Bladeness,

I can't promise to give you everything you ask for, as I feel bad for my heroines when they crushed like that, but I think there will be stuff for you to enjoy. There will be a theme of impoverished elfs immigrating to zentara and having to get jobs in the sex industry that will feature into some kinky sex scenes.

As for the other femdom, forced bi, and feminization themes...well, i don't know. Historically those have been my lowest rated chapters. I seem to be getting trapped in a place where I am trying to please everyone, but that is obviously impossible. Now I know why they tell authors to write what they want and not worry about what the audience wants.

I will think about it, and see if I get inspired to add any of that in.

Hi,

I like your ideas with the spy network of prostitutes and more humiliating and darker sex. Especially for Cindy.

But Im not into the idea of some kind of aphrodisiacal powers from orc dicks. Just my opinion if you want to write it do it.

Can you say when you are ready with the next Soiled Dove story?

Thanks for your great work!

I want to write the first three chapters of elfish descent first. Maybe 4 weeks? Maybe sooner if I get into a good groove.

I like all of what you've written and enjoyed the fact that you've managed to create a cohesive, sensible plot with some good sex thrown in. However, I am a big fan of depraved, humiliating sex, and supposedly 'pure' women acting like sluts, so I found Zentara to be a much more appealing read.

That said, your idea for a Zentara re-write and your plans for your next story both sound very interesting. I think a good step towards rounding out characterization would be to give key characters an 'inner voice' where they can reflect on their emotions or thoughts - not too much or it will be too navel-gazey, but just enough to help readers get into the heads of the characters and understand the decisions they make.

I know its a rule to 'show, don't tell', but some times this rule could use some breaking. Just my thoughts, however, and I look forward to your next story!

Hi,

if you consider to rewrite some elements of Zentara I think it would be great to give Sir Drake more room in the story. His character has much potential for humiliation and darker sex (but maybe without the whip, Im not a fan of violence). I would like to see some sex scenes with Jeanette and him. Maybe some blackmailing, where she has to lay with him or he will publish her secret of being a prostitute. Maybe this could be a soiled dove story? Its all up to you.

Will there be a similar character in your next stories? I would like it.

Whatever you will write Im pretty sure it will be awesome. I really enjoyed reading every chapter.

Good job man!

Sorry for mistakes. English is not my first language.

Thanks for the thoughts and comments. I still am planning to rewrite chapter 12 to give sir drake a better ending. I don't know if I would have him and Jeanette have sex, as that would kind of undermine the story. Maybe give Jeanette a trusted assistant in her scheme who falls prey to Sir Drake? That could be an interesting plot point...

I didn't have plans for a sir drake type character in the next story, though in a lot of ways trogar will be similar to sir drake, in political machinations and sexual proclivities.

Thanks for the comments dreamtalker. You might be interested to know that I am working on a side project set in the angrian march which will focus heavily on themes of nonconsent and enslavement!

I've also finished the first chapter of elfish descent. Hopefully I will stay motivated and get more chapters/stories finished!

I really love all your stories and can't wait for your new series. Please release them soon!!! Thanks for all your hard work.

Hi,

first of all I wanna tell you that your story is awesome. It was really nice to see how you got better and better during the series.

In your earlier comments to other Rebellion stories you mentioned other projects from you? What about them are you going to write them or are they already finished?

You talked a lot about rewriting some elements. Maybe you could rewrite the last part of Rebellion in a much darker way like you did in Zentara?

Some ideas: The Punishment of Goraths and Kat could be a gangbang for Kat while Goraths has to watch. The treatment for Cindy is obviously you already mentioned it. Maybe well builed Graphk can play a role here.

The other project is a series of short, mostly stand alone stories featuring a female adventuress in another world (one with magic and more races). I've got the first two stories done and started the third. I don't really plan to put them on literotica, bit of you use the feedback form to send me an email, and include your own, I will send it to you.

Oh sorry anon, didn't see that both new comments. Thanks for the comment! Elfish Descent is plugging along slowly. The first chapter is done, and most of the second. I think I want to get around six done before I start posting.

Oh, also to you question about a bad end...I had considered it, though mostly in regards to Jeanette losing the war. I hadn't thought about am evil Jeanette ending. That could be interesting though! I have a lot on my writing plate though. Elfish Descent, Soiled Dove, my other series, and a stand alone set in the Angrian March. I'm not sure when I will get around to it!

Jeanette losing the war would be great too. So Cindy can finally take revenge. You just developed so many great characters, that there are so many opportunities.

Thats why the most important thing is that you dont feel pressurized. Write what you want and take your time.