All Comments on 'Our Family Time'

Do you not do story development

I liked the concept and the action, but it was a it hard to read. but dont get discouraged. Perhaps slow down your writing and make it a bit more clearer wbo is who and how they relate to each other. Also it was a bit unclear what was diaologue and what was narrative. If you use quotation marks and break things into more paragraphs i think this would be a good read.

Keep up the writing, would love to read more :)

Thank you to those that are responding and leaving feedback. It is greatly appreciated...good or bad.

I am fairly new to this and out of practice when it comes to writing stories, so your feedback is very helpful.

That would be classic

I felt like I had entered into the story in the middle somewhere. I had no idea who Alex was and surmised Anna was a daughter. There was no explanation as to why they were sitting around naked watching TV or a lead in to the meat of your theme. That part, although needing a little work and refinement, was satisfactory for as quick as it was. I am not a writer, nor could I be, but I know what I like and what I don't, so this is not so much criticism as an explanation to my comments of your work. You stated your writing skills were 'rusty' so work on polishing them; the only way to do that is practice and an editor. Don't give up and I'll read more as you write. I will also read some of your other work minus the BDSM as I don't care for that in either direction. Just my $ .02.

one of the worst pieces of incest narratives I've wasted my time on.

A beautiful story of love, lust, and tenderness.

Short but enjoyable. Would have been better if you identified the players.

Hope you have another chapter waiting.

In the opening phrase: "It's a Friday night, Anna has went to a girlfriends to spend the night.." left a slightly brown taste in the mouth, which turned a darker shade throughout the submission.

Get an editor please. I won't even mention '.. is not your native tongue/language..', since all is not equal.

Thanks for your effort, keep on, hone your skills - hopefully you are of legal age?

I confess I read the first paragraph and half of the next line then several random lines. I think I got the gist of the story.

Yes it is very poor and that is coming from someone who tried to see good in all stories and for the first time ever I will join in and say 'get an editor'. I truly hope you can find one as I see the ideas in your head and they need to be brought out to share.

It got no better from there.

One star, out of pity.

This story is NOWHERE NEAR finished!! Who are the characters? Mom and son? Who is the girl that came in?? What happens once they hit the bed? Too many unanswered questions.

Don’t know the relation of the characters to each other, no real plot, and couldn’t even read the sentences easily because of spelling and grammar

1 Star

Don't be disheartened by the Anonymous comments. I just ignore Anonymous comments as they are usually without substance from weirdos. This is the 2nd of your stories that I have read and I have enjoyed both. I believe that your stories could be a little longer so that you can let your imagination run wild. Regards, Jack.

Maailma parim asi on oma ema nikkuda mis on imeline.

All families should experience such uninhibited sex.

Kind if lame writing in my opinion.

Trite...

Sorry