Our Little Secret Ch. 07

The timing of their arrival couldn't have been more perfect. Don had two boys aged seven and nine, and they were all outside shooting basketball hoops in the driveway when Jenny turned into the semicircular driveway in the BMW roadster. Jen saw all three of them turn toward the sound of the car, and Jen easily read both the young boys' lips. "Wow!" they called out together with mouths agape as a pretty lady in a hot sports car pulled into their yard.

Jen instantly appreciated how important it was for her to be seen pulling into the driveway. She was in charge. Don was dealing with her, not Joel. Jenny smiled at Don with sparkling green eyes as she rolled the sports car to a stop. Don waved hello as the two boys abandoned the basketball, letting it roll off the driveway. They raced each other to the car. Jen waved back to Don as she squeezed Joel's thigh, secretly loving Joel even more for making her do this.

Jen stepped out of the car wearing jeans, sneakers, a green silk shirt that matched her eyes, and a light brown suede leather jacket. When they met at Google earlier that day, Don made it clear it dinner was casual dress. Joel wore jeans, and a black button up shirt. Don was in jeans and a heavy fabric off-white T-shirt.

"Hi Jenny," Don extended his hand, but before she could take it, Don's two boys swarmed the pretty lady and tugged at her leather jacket.

"Is that your car?" the older one asked with unbridled excitement.

"Yeah," Jen nodded with assuredness toward the boy, and then winked at Joel, out of Don's view, "that's my ride."

"Cooooool!" They both called out together. "Can we get in?"

"Boys!" Don called at them. "Don't bother her. Go wash up."

Jenny remembered what Joel told her this morning. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone else. That's not what Don wants. "Yeah," Jen said, holding the car door open, "you can climb in, but don't touch anything." She looked at Don and dangled the keys high in the air, letting him confirm they couldn't start the car.

"Yaay!" the two boys called out, ignoring their father. The older boy sat in the driver's seat while the younger ran around the front. Joel held the door open for him, and he hopped in. While the young boys were pretending to drive the Indy 500, Jen finally shook Don's hand.

"Hope you don't mind," she shrugged.

"No, but you realize next they'll ask for a ride." Fortunately the boys were too engrossed in their make believe auto race to overhear their father's remark. "Joel," Don extended his hand to Joel, "it's good to see you again."

"Great to see you, too, Don," Joel shook his hand. "Young basketball stars, I see," he gestured to the discarded basketball by the side of the driveway.

"Well," Don nodded, "I played a little when ..." Jenny startled with fright when the BMW horn blared only ten feet from her. "Boys, out NOW!" Don barked. Clearly his sons understood this new tone carried more dire consequences than the one they ignored earlier, and the two boys crawled out of the car. "Go inside and wash up, now," he ordered, and the two boys raced each other to the front door. Jenny and Joel closed their respective car doors.

"Such energy," Jen gasped, still recovering from the horn blast.

"You don't know the half of it," Don groaned with mixed pride and weariness. "Come on in," Don waved them forward. Jen and Joel followed Don into the front door.

The house was amazing. And huge. Twin semi-circular grand staircases to the left and right framed the grand entrance. A large sitting room was visible to the left, and a study to the right. Beyond the entrance hall was a large living room. Every window had teak louvered shutters with a matching casing overtop. Jenny figured all the window treatments alone – something she recently learned about – cost more than her whole house.

Don led them into the living room. Now visible to the right was a large dining room, and to the left the living room extended for fifty feet or more. There were three completely different sofa furniture sets in the long living room, and nothing felt cramped or closed in.

"Have a seat," Don offered. "I'll just find out what Ellie is up to." Don retreated through the large dining room, and disappeared through a door into a room beyond – Jen guessed it was the kitchen. "Wow!" Jen mouthed silently to Joel, and he smiled, recognizing the same expression from Don's boys when they watched Jen pull the BMW roadster into the driveway.

Joel looked around. "Someday," he nodded appreciatively. Someday soon.

Don returned with a stunningly beautiful blonde, blue eyed woman who could be any age between twenty and fifty. "Hello," she called out with an accent, "I'm Ellie. You must be this Jenny that Don never stops talking about," she extended her hand to Jen. Jen did cartwheels inside, but tried to remain outwardly composed.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Ellie," Jen beamed with brilliant eyes. "You have the most beautiful house."

"Why, thank you Jenny," Ellie responded with deep gratitude, as if she'd been waiting all her life for someone to finally notice.

Ellie turned to Joel. "I'm Joel," he introduced himself. "Pleased to meet you. Is that a Angkor Wat?" he pointed to what Jen thought was a black and white painting.

"Why, yes it is," Ellie remarked with impressed surprise. "You certainly have a discerning eye for rare art, Joel."

"My father had one of those rubbings," he said. "Might even have been the same one."

"Sadly the plates were smashed long ago," Ellie lamented, "so there are so very few left. Is it still in the family?"

"I'm afraid it was lost in a fire," Joel reported.

"Oh how tragic," Ellie offered. "I hope that's all that was lost."

Joel paused, opened his mouth, and then stopped again. He resettled his feet. "Both my parents perished," he explained. Jen drew in a gasp of horror. Joel had told her his parents were gone, but she hadn't asked how. Jen had long thought burning in a fire was a most hideous way to die.

"Joel, I am so horribly sorry for your loss," Ellie soothed. "Now come, sit down and let Don get you something to drink."

"No, I'm sorry, Ellie, Don" Joel nodded to both of them. "I didn't mean the conversation to take this turn."

"Don't be silly," Ellie waved at him. "Don?" she looked to her husband.

"What can I get you two to drink?" Don offered.

"Could I have a white wine, please?" Jen asked.

"We have Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio, and a German Riesling," Don asked.

"Oh, a Chardonnay," Jen smiled, thinking about the 1989 Chardonnay Joel bought for her mother's birthday.

"Joel?" Don asked.

"A red, please. Do you have a Cab?"

"I do," Don turned and went to the kitchen.

"Joel!" Jen put her hand to his shoulder after Don was out of sight. "You never told me your parents died in a fire."

"I don't like to talk about it," he said quietly. "It was arson."

She gasped again. "Oh my God Joel, I'm so sorry!" She kissed him lightly.

"I'll tell you later," Joel offered. "You focus on tonight. This is your night. Promise you'll do that for me?"

"Okay," she smiled.

Just then Don returned from the kitchen with a tray of four glasses – a red and white wine and two mixed drinks. Joel's accidental wandering into his painful past actually helped the night move forward. It was a very human and honest moment that bonded the four people closer.

The two boys, Carl and Steven, joined them for dinner. Ellie explained over dinner she was from Sweden. She attended NYU, and that's where she met Don. The rest, as they say, was history. Don asked Joel how his investment business was going. Joel explained he was just starting out, and he would let Don know when he had something lined up. He was going to Seattle right after this to look at a potential investment opportunity.

After dinner, the two boys disappeared upstairs, and Don asked Jenny if they could talk business. Jen asked if it was alright of Joel joined them, and Don said of course. Don led them both to the study off the front entrance, and invited them to sit. Don handed an envelope to Jen. He said it was a serious offer, and he wanted Jen to consider it carefully before responding. Jen wanted to screamYES right there.

Joel asked for the major points. Don said the job was for the Special Assistant to the VP of HR, with a starting salary of $95,000 plus bonuses, which vary from year to year, starting on September 8, full benefits, and moving allowance. Jen missed everything past the salary. It was thirty thousand more what she made at Quinton Systems. He asked that Jenny reply by close of business Monday.

Don left the room and closed the door let Jen and Joel discuss it. "My God, Joel," Jen looked dazed, "is this really happening?"

"That's up to you," he said.

"What do you think," she asked.

"Well, don't make a decision now," he counselled. "But my gut feeling is you have to have an overwhelming reason not to take it."

"I can't think of any reason not to take it," Jen looked around the room, "overwhelming or otherwise."

"Okay," Joel suggested. "Tell Don you are very interested in the offer, and you will let him know by Monday." She nodded.

They stood up, Joel headed for the door. "Hey!" Jen called to him before he opened it. She kissed him gently on the lips. "When we go back to the hotel tonight, I want you to tell me about your parents. Let me be there for you too." Joel nodded with a warm smile.

In the living room, Jen explained to Don she would consider the offer seriously, and let him know by Monday. Don invited them to stay for drinks, but Jen declined. Joel and Jen thanked Ellie for a wonderful meal. When they were in the driveway, Jen asked Joel to drive home – she didn't want to drive in a strange city in the dark. Joel had anticipated that, and had moderated his alcohol intake accordingly.

At the hotel, Joel told Jen of how, when he was twenty-five, his parents' house in Bangor, Maine, where Joel grew up, was burned to the ground by kids who thought the house was empty. His parents had been away on vacation. The hoodlums came by and cased the house at ten that night, and found it empty. They later confessed to burning down three other empty houses.

They went off to do other things, and returned at three in the morning to set the house ablaze while the neighbors were asleep. Joel's parents came home from a Florida trip that night, arriving from the airport at 12:30. Exhausted from many hours of flight delays, they went straight to bed. Their charred bodies were recovered when the fire marshal went through what they thought was another empty home arson.

With two fresh murders on their plate, the police stepped up their arson investigations, and eventually arrested three teenage boys, all between fourteen and fifteen years old. They were tried in juvenile court, and not knowing anyone was in the house, they received only six months detention. At the sentencing hearing, Joel lashed out against the judge, saying the judge had spent too many years behind the bench, and had lost touch with the real world.

Jen asked about his brothers or sisters. Like Jen, Joel was an only child. Unlike Jen, his parents had no life insurance, and they had let their home insurance lapse, so there was no insurance payout for the fire. So Joel just walked away from his childhood home. For all he knew, it still lay in a heap of ashes and charred debris.

Joel tried living his life as if nothing happened. Except it didn't work, and he grew bitter and angry. He was angry at the kids for setting the fire. He was angry at the police for not catching them sooner. He was angry at the courts for treating them so lightly. He was angry at his own parents for not taking better care of their own affairs. Eventually, the anger turned into indifference toward everything. And that's how it was at Quinton. He was just indifferent. He was indifferent in his marriage. He was indifferent in his job.

"What changed?" Jenny asked. "You're nothing like that now."

"The plane incident," Joel nodded. "I know it sounds corny, but I feel like I stared death in the face, and I realized I had a chance to make more of my life. So I did. I just decided to." With the help of some new power.

"Joel," Jen said slowly, "I don't know exactly where this ... us ... is going. We're talking about moving together here, and I like that, but we don't know that much about each other." Joel heard warning bells. "I just think, before we get too ... involved ... we should be open and honest with each other."

"Okay," Joel nodded. "I agree." To a point.

"Joel, I can't have kids. That was a deal breaker for Flo. She never married. So ..." Jen stopped and took a deep breath. "So if that is going to be a deal breaker for us, I'd rather it happen now."

"Is it a medical or genetic thing?" Joel asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm a single child, like you. If I were to have kids, there is no Aunt Flo to take over." Joel wasn't tracking. "My mother died of breast cancer, and Flo died of breast cancer. There's a chance I will die young. I can't bring a child into this world knowing I might not be here to ... to ... you know."

Joel looked at her a long time. She grew frightened by his silence. She tried not to cry. "Joel please say something."

"First of all," Joel said, "I told you I love you. That doesn't change."

"But it might," Jen interrupted. "Maybe not now, maybe not this week, but it might. You might decide having kids is more important than me. It happens, Joel"

"Well, I'm not going to get into hypotheticals," Joel cut her off at that pass. "Second of all, I think you're wrong. I think you should have kids. I saw you with those boys tonight. You were a natural. There are no guarantees in life. You may die young, you may live to a hundred. You don't know." She started saying something, but he put up his hand and pressed on. "Look, I know I'm not going to change your mind tonight. I'm not trying to. I'm not arguing with you, Jen. I'm just telling you I think you're wrong. I think you need to take some time to rethink this."

"Third," Joel added, "you said yourself, you don't know where we are going. I am committed to moving to California with you. Let's cross that bridge together now. And when we come to the next bridge, let's you and me figure out how to cross that one together. And then the bridge after that."

They paused for a moment. "I know we're not talking about marriage, Jen. Maybe someday we will, maybe we won't. But I am offering you a commitment for what we have now. Until we get to the next bridge, whatever that is. Maybe you will become president of Google and tire of me." Jen scoffed at him. "Maybe you will change your mind about kids. Maybe they develop a test next month for your condition, and you discover you don't carry it. Maybe something happens. There are lots of things that can happen in the future," Joel said with inward dread. "All I'm saying is, for now, let's face life together, and we'll sort out whatever comes."

"Okay," she said without satisfaction. "I want you to make me a promise." She drew in a deep breath. "I don't ever want you to stay with me when you actually want kids."

"I can't make you that promise," Joel said right away. "I might decide I love you more than I love having kids. I don't love you for you womb, Jenny, or your breasts ... okay," she smirked, "I love you for your breasts."

"Joel!" she chided him but smiled.

"I love all of you. It's a package deal. I'm okay with that. And right now, that's more important than wanting kids."

"But if that changes, will you promise to let me know?" She asked. "I don't want us to have a relationship built on a lie." Joel felt a stabbing pain in his heart. How long can I go on like this?

Joel took in a deep, cleansing breath. "I will make you a deal," he offered. "I guarantee to let you know, if you guarantee to seriously rethink your decision to not have kids. I mean actually look for reasons to have kids. Not because you might think I want them, but because I think you are making a terrible mistake I know you could regret later in life."

"Okay," Jen said. "Deal." Every time Joel pushed her into something, it turned out well. Jen was willing to give this one a go.

"Enough talk about his heavy stuff," Jen pivoted the conversation. "I feel like celebrating. Let's go to the bar."

Joel and Jen spent the long weekend in the San Francisco area together. As Joel once suggested, on Saturday Jenny drove south on Highway One with the car top down, past Carmel and Big Sur to Morro Bay. They swam in the Pacific Ocean. They returned through Fresno and up the valley on Sunday, arriving at San Francisco on Sunday evening. On Monday morning, Jenny sent an email to Don McLean accepting the job offer. She and Joel spent the morning touring San Fran. Joel drove her to the airport at noon, where Jenny caught her flight home to Boston. Joel promised to be home Wednesday. He returned the rental car, and boarded his flight to Seattle.

During that weekend in California, Joel came to a decision. He had to leave Jen. He didn't know how, but staying with her would someday hurt her more than leaving her now. For her sake – because he loved her and cared for Jen too much – Joel had to go.

- - -

Samuel Hilton was in his office cubicle on Monday afternoon when his cell phone rang. It was his bank manager calling to explain Mr. Hilton's latest mortgage payment was about to be declined. Yes, the bank manager understood the payment was automatically withdrawn from his checking account, however the funds in that checking account were seized by order of the Oregon Division of Child Support, and the account has been frozen. No, the bank manager explained, not just the checking account. All funds were seized from all accounts in the bank. A total of $27,413.85 had been seized, and all accounts, including credit cards, have been deactivated until further notice from the DCS.

The bank manager apologized, but explained his hands were tied in this matter, and he was under a legal obligation to execute an order issued by the DCS. The bank manager explained that the bank would give Mr. Hilton 30 days to make payment on the mortgage, but after that there was a risk the house loan would fall into default and eventual foreclosure.

It had to be a mistake. He was paying all his alimony and child support exactly on time. He was looking up the number to phone the DCS when his office desk rang. It was Trudy from payroll, explaining she had just received an order from DCS to garnish 25% of his wages. Trudy explained in her experience, they only demand 25% in extreme cases. She recommended Samuel make sure his driver's license and passport were still valid, as DCS can revoke those as well. Now Samuel started to panic. Without a driver's license and passport, he'd lose his job. Even a stupid mistake at DCS could ruin him.

"Fuck!" Samuel yelled, and everyone around his cubicle went silent.

- - -

Joel landed at Seattle/Tacoma airport on time after an uneventful business class flight. Because he packed luggage for the San Francisco trip with Jen, he had to go to the baggage carousel to retrieve his checked suitcase. Otherwise he would have travelled light. As he waited among the crowd at the stationary carousel, Joel sensed two people standing too close behind him, and he turned around.

"Mr. Joel Francis Winkman?" He was a tall, imposing black man in a law enforcement uniform. A second white man about Joel's height stood beside him in the same uniform. They were both wearing side arms, and had US Marshal shields on their breast pockets.

"Yes," Joel answered.