Our Tattered Lives

My penis was dark red and angry looking. It was coated with our fluids and shone in the dimmed light of the bedroom. My bald crotch was full of our mixed fluids. Spent but not limp, my penis lay heavily against my abdomen and to Rachel's astonishment extended nearly to my navel, she reached up and gently took it in her hand, it was sticky and heavy and she said the scent was intoxicating.

She went first and I could hear her urine hitting hard the toilet, when she had emptied her bladder and I heard the toilet flushing I went to do my own. Oh my god, never I had such a problem; I couldn't bend my ultra-hard penis to hit inside the toilet with my jet, at the end I had to go to the shower and let my piss go in an arc of 3 feet in height when I finished and cleaned my cock it was still as hard as steel and my pubis was so sore that I thought that it may come a pubalgia.

When I returned to the bedroom with my legs a little open and walking with a certain difficult, Rachel said with empathy,

"Lie down and relax, honey" and she smiled, "I'll have this fixed up in no time at all." and she grasped my cock, slid it into her mouth and sucked it with fervor.

"I'm still excited," she said when she popped me out between her lips.

"Yes, I'm over excited. You want more?" I asked her.

"Much, much more," she nodded, smiling. She slithered back up the bed and turned onto her stomach again. "Lick me; Pierce, like you did last night. Lick my bum hole."

"Do you like that?" I asked, knowing she did.

"Yes, you think I'm being naughty?"

"Nothing is naughty, nothing at all."

"Then lick me back there. And then... if you want to... fuck my ass as well..." She rolled around on the bed and looked at me. "Do you want to do that, Pierce, fuck mommy in the ass with that big dick?"

"Yes, I want to fuck my mommy on the ass"

She stared at me deep in the eyes, her face was flushed and serious, but now the cards were over the table; it was play-acting, but it was a play-acting with an undercurrent of truth. She knew, and she now knew I now knew. Both our secrets were no more, but, who was John.

"I want you to do that, Pierce. I want you to fuck me in my ass. I always like when my ass is being played with, licked, sucked, rimmed, but I am often afraid to do what I want, because most men are pigs. But I trust you; I know you won't hurt me."

Her coiffured hair was now matted and stuck against her face and neck. A large damp stain spread across the bed beneath her pussy where our juices had dripped from her insides. And still I found her the most beautiful creature in the world.

I went back down to the bottom of the bed and I lie face down between her thighs. She shifted and spread her legs to accommodate me, laid her head back on the bed with a deep sigh.

I opened her ass cheeks with my fingers and then I lowered my face and began to work my tongue on her ass hole, letting my spit run from my mouth onto her, pushing it in with my tongue, working more firmly now, making my tongue stiff and I put it directly into her opening, pushing it inside her ass. I had hardly thought how she might taste, but now, as an inch of my tongue slid inside her rear passage I discovered she tasted good, musty and a little soapy and a lot of Rachel; it had a hint of spice and sweetness.

I continued to work her with my tongue, probing further, pushing as far as I could, and opening that tight passage to me until it was soaking wet and slippery all the way inside. Only then did I lift my head and move up the bed.

"Are you ready to receive your son's dick in your ass? Mommy" I asked her.

I hardly felt heard her muffled answer "Yes, yes, give it to your mother, give me your hard cock up my ass"

I then placed the engorged glands of my cock against the rim of her asshole and left it there, resting both myself and her. I applied a very small amount of pressure and looked down, watching as the very tip of my cock press and open her, hardly penetrating at all yet, simply making that tight entrance widen and then pucker back as I pulled away.

I continued to work us both like this, pushing hard, a little of the head of my cock into her before withdrawing. Rachel was beginning to breathe harder, and her hips rocked from side to side. I spit saliva at the ring to better lubricate it, and then pushed again.

"Pierce... I like it very much... I want you to fuck me all the way inside my ass now. I want it so much, but please Pierce, be careful, you are very big"

I lowered my head to her ear and whispered, "I love you, mommy."

"Oh John," she whispered into her pillow. "My darling John..."

We were together, we were fucking, I was going to break her tight ass, yet the two of us were in a different world, a world of our own, with the persons we wanted to be.

I was kissing and licking her neck; collarbone, her shoulders and her upper back, I needed to reduce the effort in my arms, so I lifted my head and chest allowing my weight to fall on my hips. I pressed the head of my cock down into her tight and small back passage. For a moment the resistance kept me out, then slowly it opened for me and I slid inside. My head popped through the tight ring of muscle and I took my weight back on my arms, allowing Rachel to get used to the head of my cock being inside her ass.

She moaned and rocked her hips back and forth again and I relaxed pushing slowly and suddenly I was sliding inch by inch inside of her, first it was two inches, then three, her bowels were tight and enclosing but welcoming, there was nothing to stop me entering her further, except some dryness, she needed more lubrication, I took my cock back a little spit abundantly on it and I let myself slip inside again, now there were four inches of my cock inside her ass and I watched it, stretching her, and felt the warmth and slickness and the tightness.

"Put it all the way, John... push it into me hard as far as it will go..."said a maddened Rachel.

John? again he must be a very important person in Rachel's life. Was he a secret lover? Those interchange of names, mine and his, whoever he is, always in moments of passion were to say the least intriguing to me, and a little annoying

I pushed and two more inches slid in, went back spit on my cock again to lubricate it and pushed again and another inch went inside. I looked down and I saw that almost the entire length of my cock was now deep embedded inside Rachel's ass.

I heard her moaning again, "No, put it all the way... I need more; I need all of you inside me!"

I pushed harder, and my cock encountered more resistance, but she made peristaltic movements with her bowels and I felt myself sliding deeper all the way inside her gut, her ass was swallowing my cock as a Boa constrictor might; then my bald pubis flattened against her ass cheeks. She twisted sideways a little and I followed her to accommodate her move and lifted one of my legs so that my cock managed to enter another half inch inside her. My big, cum-filled balls were now pressed tightly against her pussy, and the base of my cock was like a sledgehammer against her perineum pounding hard up against her asshole, the entirety of my eight inch cock length was buried and the head was somewhere up inside her. Where? I had no idea, all I did know was that it was the most wonderful feeling I had ever experienced.

"Pierce..." she whispered, and there was a note of awe or wonder in her voice, "You are going to make me cum again... I have never felt anything like that..., it feels wonderful... I feel so filled, so full, so bloated... Unnh... I am cumming again... fuck me, fuck me hard now..."

I rotated my hips; moving my cock inside of her, withdrawing a little and then forcefully sinking all the way back inside. I felt Rachel trembling wildly beneath me; I was giving her the pounding of her life, the muscles of her ass quivering. I reached around and with my right middle finger I started rubbing her clit.

She cried out and her hips bucked underneath me and then kept still.

My cock felt enormous inside her ass, harder than I had ever been before, The Cialis working so well I was not yet ready to cum so soon after the first time and I continued to forcefully pound in and out of Rachel. She wailed and pushed her face down into the bed. I took her nub between two of my fingers and squeezed it hard.

Then with a hand in her crotch and the other around her at breast height, so as not to dislodge her, I turned, rolling my body to lie on my side. I was still so far into her ass it seemed we were welded together, and as she turned half over, one leg lifted back over mine, I grabbed her right breast and kneaded it without compassion, pinching and stretching the nipple; with my other hand to her pussy I inserted two fingers inside her while punishing her clitoris with my thumb. She was soaking, her cunt juices flowing out of her and onto my finger and balls, and I started to pump myself in and out of her ass again as my fingers moved in and out of her pussy and she made a squealing noise deep inside her throat and started to cum again.

I continued working on her, pulling hard on her nipple, rolling her clitoris, and pushing into both her front and back openings, I was mad and she had lost all control and was cumming continuously, peaking over and over again in one long rolling climax.

I wasn't sure how much more of this pounding she could take. Although she was fairly young at forty two, I was only half her age, and I was tiring Through my dick I was feeling my own climax building at last. I removed my hand from her pussy gripped her hips, and rolled her again, onto her face, lifted her up to her knees and pumped my cock deep in and out of her asshole. My head went back and I gasped for air; my lungs bursting and trying desperately to fill with air. It was coming. Finally, my release arrived. It began far back inside my own ass, around the prostate, a hot pleasurable ache that built, made my own asshole twitch and then, like cannon, shot up gallons of seed along the length of my cock. I felt the cum jet from the head of my cock deep inside Rachel's bowels, felt it gush against the walls of her insides, and she felt it too and trembled and I thought she peaked for the last time when she yelled loudly and unintelligibly,

"Fffffuck, Oh, fuckkkk! John!!!!!! Ooooohhhhhhh Yesssssssssss...John, I love you soooo fucking...much..."

"John!", I pushed hard one last time, burying my cock head more inside her if that was possible, enjoying the spasms of painful pleasure in my own insides. My balls were pulled tight to my body, my hips were shaking uncontrollably like an epileptic seizure, and sweat poured from every inch of my body. I lost all sense of myself for a while. When I came back my cock was still hard, still buried deep inside Rachel's tight asshole, and she was crying.

I thought I had hurt her, so I eased myself back, feeling her tighten on me and trying to hold me there, but I pulled back and felt my cock slipping out and away. It was released from her asshole with a twitch and I ran my hand over it, checking for any blood from her rectum, but it was, perfectly clean.

I turned Rachel her towards me, put my arms around her and held her to me as she sobbed. Her tears dripped onto my cheek and ran down my beard to my lips and I licked them and tasted their saltiness.

"What is it?" I whispered in her ear. "My darling girl, what's wrong?"

"I love you, Pierce, I'm not in love with you, but I love you and must talk to you"

"Yes, I think we must talk, you see I have some doubts...."

She took a shuddering breath and lifted her head and looked at me with pink eyes. "You mean what I said in the throes of passion?"

I kissed her eyes, her nose, and her mouth. "You know who I am, and maybe you know whom I want; Rachel you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but consider that to hear the name of another person when you're making love, is at least a bit humiliating, don't you think so?"

For the first time since I met her I saw her lose her usual restraint, self-control, and mastery of herself, her coldness in handling tough or difficult situations, but again she couldn't restraint her tears,

"Oh Pierce I'm so sorry I never intended to say or do anything to hurt you. You have melted my heart this time I've been with you. I never thought I could feel like this, if you have me patience I want to confess something"

I felt my own eyes start to well up and swallowed hard. "You may tell me anything you want, I'm grateful to you, for treat me the way you did"

She pulled me to her and hugged me hard, forcing the air from my lungs. "Pierce, my name it's not Rachel, my real name is Melanie, I'm a married woman, I'm forty two, with two children in college, I don't need money, nor do I need to work, and I'm not a whore, I mean, yes I like sex, and actually my husband is a big shareholder in one of the "seven sisters", being in the oil business you know what I'm talking about and belongs to a good high society family"

I was stunned, not every day you find yourself in that kind of situation or with someone who shows so intimate details of their person or theirs life. When I opened my mouth to say to her she didn't need to tell anything she stopped me....

"Please Pierce, don't say anything, please let me continue; you want to know who John is don't you? He is the love of my life, one love I can't have..."

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

"No, he doesn't and he won't. That was why I let myself go when we were making love, and his name left my lips. I want you to believe me it was accidental, I'm truly embarrassed I have had this sentiment bottled for so long, it exploded like a champagne cork,"

"But surely you may...."

"No I won't, you see he is out of reach, I'll confess to you and then you may tell me your sin. Deal?"

"Deal, but you don't need to tell me anything Rach....er...Melanie"

She filled her lungs with air, breathing deeply and then she said me,

"John is my twenty one year old son"

After hearing her words I realized that I was not as surprised as I should have been. All coincided, a husband older than herself, her clients were usually older men to prevent temptation, and the day she decided to take a younger client, the likeness with his son made the incestual repressed passion burst aflame. She silently waited my reaction.

"I love you Melanie, thanks for your trust. Now is my turn. I hate my mother for what she did me when I was sixteen, but I'm desperately and hopelessly in love with her since I was thirteen, and it is not an Oedipus complex thing. Sometimes I wish it had been"

"That was why all the mom, mommy, etc play acting with me, Pierce. You were trying to get a fantasy to come true, even if it was temporarily?"

"Yes, that's the truth, pitiful isn't"

"No my love, in any case we are two of a kind"

"I'll tell you what Pierce; I want to see you again, for as long as you want and whenever you are free, except weekends and family days for me, we'll explore our fantasies together and be as happy as we can in these strange circumstances; do you agree?

During my romance with Melanie I received the news of my grandparent's crash, my mother's parents. My father came to tell me the news; they had crashed their small Cessna in the mountains when they were looking over the cattle herds and were in the hospital. Father asked me to go with them, him and mother to the see them in Idaho and wait their recuperation. I refused; nobody knows how sorry I was. I loved my old grumpy grandparents and they loved me, maybe they were sorry for how they had treated my parents so many years ago.

*8*

*Transition*

And then a few months later, suddenly, I received a call from my lawyer. The rig foreman called to tell me I had a mainland call. I let what a was doing go and went to take the call,

"Pierce" It was my lawyer.

"Yeah, how are you, something special?

"Yes Pierce, sorry to tell you the news, your mother called a few minutes ago, I don't know err...how to tell you this...sorry old boy, your father passed away early this morning".

I was stunned at first, then grief made my eyes fill with tears, which began to fall down my cheeks and bearded chin, while distress and pain made my heart sink in my chest.

My father was young, hardly sixty six or seven, he was a man who took care of himself, who didn't smoke and had an orderly life. After a long silence I did ask him,

"How, I mean....Do you know what was the cause of his death?"

"Well, if it's any consolation, he died peacefully in his sleep, probably from a heart attack"

"How....how is my mother doing, how is she taking it, do you know?"

"Well, she was calm in the phone, but you could feel the stress and I think that she had a hint of loneliness in her voice, she also told me to tell you that your father's funeral will be four days from today so you can fix things and be able to come home"

"Ok, today is Tuesday, I'll see you tomorrow, I'll call you when I get to the condo, and... thanks my friend, many thanks"

"Ok, Pierce, take care and call me, see you tomorrow".

After the call ended, I talked with the manager to fix my transfer ashore by helicopter that same day; I told him my reasons and he make sure that there was no problem, while giving his condolences. That same day I took the most important of my things and went to the mainland.

The unexpected news of my father's death was a blow in my perception of the world. It was no longer certain as the world had been so far, as from today my father was not anymore. I guess my mother had found my address and the phone numbers I had given my father, or perhaps my father in an act of love, had given them to her so she knew also how to contact me. It was a tremendous blow, I felt that my life was falling apart; he had died without seeing his dream fulfilled; his son reconciled with his mother. And me, not having been able to say to him again, how much I loved and I respected him.

Once on land, in a daze, I was somehow able to find my car in the parking lot and drive off. I drove around aimlessly for a while and then headed home. For the next several hours I paced back and forth trying to make sense out of what just happened; not forgiving me for the little time I had been with my father.

The emotional pain of the unjust death became a physical pain as well. I couldn't forget all the years of what I thought were love and devotion for each other, now I knew I was wrong. He had devotion and love for me. I had loved him but had not been devoted to him

The phone had been ringing constantly since I returned to the house. The first time I let the answering machine pick up and heard a voice I didn't recognize at first, a voice asking me that I return the call so we could talk. Then like a distant memory, surfaced in my mind's a voice asking me to put sunscreen on her front, it was, with minor differences the same voice of the telephone, the voice of my mother. Even today, I couldn't answer her.

She called five more times in the next hour, each message becoming less demanding until the final one, when she was crying and begging me to talk to her. I lay on my bed but did not get undressed. I lay there staring up at the ceiling and remembering my father as every emotion in my body slowly drained away, leaving me completely numb. I must have eventually fallen asleep because the next thing I knew it was daylight.

First thing in the morning I called Melanie and told her the sad news, she cried in despair and then promised me to be with me around noon, as she arranged her schedule to be free the next few days. Then I called my lawyer and asked him if I could stop by his law firm in the afternoon, he told OK, to come at three o'clock.