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Click here"No! You promised my freedom! You can't go back on your promise!" Proserpina implored.
"I made no such thing though I did ASSURE you that I would allow you to see your mother, it wasn't a total PROMISE. I told you I am in love with you and I will not make it easy for your mother to steal you back away. I have made you my queen. You will rule here by my side." Hades declared.
Any woman that is in her right mind would LOVE to be queen, even in the underworld if necessary. She did love having maidens sewing her gowns and doing her hair. She also loved being served wine and having bodyguards to protect her. Hades also isn't a bad looking guy though he could have more better relationship skills. He seems to have "stalker" tendencies though Proserpina would love ruling the underworld with him. She can tame that later.
"Maybe I can get Hermes to send a message to her." Proserpina said.
"Did somebody call?" Hermes questioned.
"Who invited you here?" Hades queried defensively.
"Zeus, duh. I'm here to get "sugarlips" over there." Hermes jokingly responded. He pointed to Proserpina as if Hades didn't know he was referring to her.
"Tell Zeus to tell Demeter the girl has a new home down here for she drank the pomegranate in the wine I served her earlier. She is my queen now." Hades sneered.
"Proserpina, is this true?" Hermes asked sadly.
"I'm afraid so, Hermes. Tell my mother I am fine and will be sure to tend to the forest still. Tell her I love her as well and never meant to harm her." Proserpina said. Hermes then disappeared and Proserpina began to cry. Hades consoled her and brought her back to his bed-chambers.
When the news was delivered to Demeter, she began to cry. The harder she cried, the colder it became and eventually it began to snow. After six months of her sadness, her daughter appeared to her again.
After she would appear to her mother again, they would go back to tending to the forest vegetation. She made it clear to Demeter that her visits will be every now and then, but when Proserpina arrives again, the sun will be high above the skies and the warmth of love will be all around.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoI thought this story was really good, you told the myth in a new light which was light-hearted and entertaining. However, I do have one tiny problem, and I know this is being really picky, so feel free to ignore it if you want. Demeter and Hades are the Greek names of the mythological Gods as are Artemis, Apollo, Hermes etc, great, I like the Greek names, but Proserpina is the Roman name of Persephone. If you are going to tell mythology please try to avoid confusion by sticking to either Greek or Roman naming systems rather than mixing the two. If you wanted to use Proserpina, you should have used the Roman names for the other Gods as well, Ceres, Pluto, etc. Other than that, good job.
Renags21about 14 years agoTruthfully, I have a weakness for Erotica based in Mythology, as I have long been cognizant of the sexuality inherent in most myths. Plus, the characters that populate the magical worlds of Homer and Hesiod are not only rabid with their lust, but downright sexy! So, I liked your story and masterful style in weaving your tale. As a side note, (and this may be an insipid critique, but given that I am a mythology buff...) Demeter and Hades and Hermes are Greek gods. Proserpina, however, is a Roman god. The Greek equivalent would have been Persephone. Besides that stupid, little criticism--I thought you did a great job. Good luck in the contest.
foxxxyvixxxenabout 14 years agoAuthorI described DEMETER as 5'3" and AROUND 200 lbs. She's a MOTHER so she might be a little on the chubby side even for a goddess. Proserpina is the one that is slender like a teenaged child. I know what I typed but obviously people don't know what they're reading.
I also realize there's a little bit of "clique"ness involved with this website and I believe that is VERY CHILDISH of people to be "cliquey" on the internet...but whatever. I noticed I haven't had ANY respect since I signed up for this website and I'm letting it known to people on here I noticed it so don't try to piss in my cup and tell me it's lemonade cuz I know u're LYING! Newbies should be treated with a little bit more respect. Not everybody on here was an automatic member when they signed up to make stories on this site. Everybody starts off as a newbie, a lot of people on this site need to get over themselves and GROW THE FUCK UP! THIS IS THE INTERNET!
And also maybe I did get a little TOO detailed with the story but at least it has dialogue lines! Who would be bored reading a story with dialogue lines?!?! I can see if I just wrote the story like I was writing an autobiography, documentary, or researching a book how people would be bored with a story. I took this from a greek mythology story and anybody that's bored with greek mythology stories is OBVIOUSLY A BORING PERSON!
Everybody has an opinion and everybody has an ASSHOLE as well but please DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE WITH YOUR OPINIONS. I personally think I put more effort into THIS story than I did with the VALENTINE'S DAY story. We'll see who wins the contest but I can consider getting my story edited by an editor next time.
