Peggy's Diary: Excerpt 01

Me: "Big penis," (I remember suppressing a laugh and looking at my mother.)

Me: "Yes, that's the guy."

Me (after a short pause): "I was wondering, ... " [I had originally planned a different conversation but, now that Ron's big penis was in play, I decided to take a direct approach.]

Me: "He introduced himself to me the other day and I was thinking of letting him, uhh, well, like, take my virginity."

Sarah (sounding surprised): "He came up to you?"

Me: "Yes, while I was eating lunch."

Sarah: "Not like Ron."

Sarah's mom: "Why not?"

Sarah: "He's really shy, mom. You wouldn't know. You have this way with guys that makes them feel like they've known you a long time. But yes, he's shy."

Sarah's mom: "He seemed to jump right in with the women at the party."

Sarah: "That app of dad's was pairing him up, and it was telling him what to do, and besides, the votes showed they all wanted him, remember, number one, unanimous."

Me: "So all the women at the party liked him?"

Sarah and her mom (almost together and with enthusiasm): "Oh yes, they liked him!"

Sarah's mom: "Big cock," [I think that was supposed to explain why they liked him.]

Sarah: "Mostly he really knew how to please them."

My mom [I guess unable to restrain herself]: "What went on at that party?"

Sarah's mom: "Who's that?"

[I remember glaring at my mom] Me: "That was my mom. I wanted her to listen in. She wasn't supposed to say anything."

Sarah's mom: "Oh, have we been too explicit?"

Me: "No, it's okay."

Sarah (sounding surprised): "You have your mother listening in while you discuss losing your virginity?" [I'm not sure why she was surprised. Her mom was participating with relish.]

Me: "Well, yes, she always has good advice. In fact I'm talking to you to help her know about Ron." [Diary, I guess Sarah knows most moms aren't like hers, or mine either.]

Sarah: "I guess it's sort of pertinent. It was a sex party. Guys and women had sex with each other. My dad has a multi-user app that paired them up for sexual activity. My friend Sally had, like a week before, taken Ron's virginity and one thing Sally does is take inexperienced guys and teach them how to please a woman. She's a good teacher and, from all evidence, Ron was an excellent student, top of the class."

Me: "So you are saying that Ron was a virgin just a short while ago?"

Sarah: "Maybe a couple of months ago."

Sarah's mom: "And now he's offering to take this girl's virginity?"

Me: "I'm Peggy. He didn't offer. There was this other girl, Jennifer, and she was praising Ron's sexual ability. I started thinking about it."

Sarah: "That makes more sense. I don't think he's the kind of guy to go looking for women to have sex with."

My mom: "It sounds like he has sex with a lot of girls."

Sarah: "All were introduced to him by other women so far as I know. Well, except Sally, who was introduced to him by his cousin. Sally and I invited all the women to the party. Some cheerleader friends from high school and Sally invited a Hooters girl, Eva and another high school friend. They introduced him to some other Hooter's girls and high school buddies. From what I can tell, they all have good times with him. Not all, sexual."

Sarah (again): "So far as I know, Peggy, you're a first. A girl he actually introduced himself to."

Sarah's mom: "Sounds like he's getting over any shyness. I doubt she'll be the last."

Me: "What about letting him take my virginity?"

Sarah's mom: "Up to you my dear,"

Sarah [much more helpful]: "I guarantee you'll enjoy it. From what I understand not a lot of girls do. My first experience was when I was very young and we were both experimenting. I wouldn't give up the memories for anything. But the idea of having Ron be the first instead of an inexperienced kid ... It's a real fantasy. I know that Ron cares about every single woman he has sex with and is entirely focused on her pleasure. You needn't have any concern that he'll mistreat you in any way." [Then I guess she she fantasized aloud] "God! having Ron as my first. The big cock, those wonderful hands and fingers. I'm getting an orgasm just thinking of it."

My mom: "Isn't the big penis a problem?"

Sarah's mom: "I don't think so. I suspect almost any woman's vagina can handle it, virgin or not."

Sarah: "Ron will be careful, He'll stop at the least sign of pain. No doubt!" [I'm really liking her]

Me [deciding to close before my mother starts asking more embarrassing questions] "You have been a big help,. Thanks a lot."

Sarah: "Let me know what you decide and how it goes. And be sure to check out his underwear."

Me (this to my mom after hanging up): "I'm going to do it!"

If nothing else, Diary, I need to find out about that 'underwear' comment.

After hearing what Sarah and her mother said about Ron, I don't think my mother had any more concerns about him instigating the idea of taking my virginity. But she did have a concern that bothered me. She said that when girls have sex with someone they can get emotionally attached and that even though Ron might treat the women with concern and care, he clearly doesn't have an emotional commitment to them. "I'm worried you will fall in love with him," is what she told me. She warned me about being possessive and jealous of Ron's other girls. I already feel some envy every time I see him on campus with someone else and when they meet him after chem lab. I don't know how to avoid it. I'm already hooked.

When I left to go to bed mom told me two things, in a voice tinged with sadness, "Take your pills." And, "Use a condom." Oh, three things, "I recommend against it." AGAIN diary, it's like a broken record, [That's a strange saying, what does it mean anyway?]

Oct 3

I didn't see Ron at school today but I'm going to ask him to take my virginity tomorrow before Chem Lab

Oct 4

What a day! I actually told Ron I wanted him to take my virginity. It took a lot to get up my courage to do it. I worried about it all day and couldn't concentrate in my classes. I chickened out before chem lab. I did manage to ask him to talk after class.

Lab felt like it wouldn't end. I couldn't concentrate on the experiment and messed up TWICE! I'm going to have to go to a make-up lab to redo most of it. I kept looking over at Ron and he was intent on his experiment. The only coherent thought I had was that I could do the experiment in a make-up lab.

When the lab period was over, my whole body was shaking like a flag in a strong wind. I could hardly get to my feet as I watched Ron come over to my lab station. I kept thinking that this whole idea was a mistake. But as I struggled to my feet I took a deep breathe and told myself I was going to do it.

But then when he actually asked what I wanted to talk about my conviction took flight. I only manage to tell him that I'd like to talk more privately. He told me he was meeting someone after the lab but would arrange it. When we came out, Kate was there and greeted me. Ron seemed surprised that we knew each other and Kate reminded him that we were in English class together. Ron told Kate he needed to talk to me for a bit and suggested that Kate meet him in the Student Union. Kate said she had to get some books in the library and to meet her there. She asked how long it would be and Ron looked at me. I said only 10 or 15 minutes and Kate asked if this was about what I had asked her about. I just smiled. She understood and smiled back and told Ron she'd see him in the library.

I was nervous and took him out to the quad and one of those benches partially surrounded by bushes.

He sensed my nervousness and asked, "What's the problem?" putting his arm around me.

I let the whole thing out in on long word, like, "Iwasgoingtoaskyoutohavesexwithme,"

I don't think he caught all that because he looked at me quizzically.

Once I said it, it was easier to say again, more slowly and deliberately. "I want to have sex with you."

His response was, "we hardly know each other," and the other was, "I never asked you."

I told him I had talked to some girls about it and they convinced me that having him take my virginity was something I wanted.

"That's what Kate meant," he responded.

"Probably Jennifer too," he said and I realized he probably hadn't heard the "virginity" part. "It's the cock isn't it?" he added.

I told him that Jennifer telling me about his big penis did get my interests but that the girls I talked to (and I named them) all said that they had all wished they had lost their virginity to him.

This time he heard it and said, "lost WHAT?"

I told him flat out, "My virginity. I want my first time to be with you."

He said, "You hardly know me. Shouldn't the first time be with someone you care about?"

I told him the others had thought their first time was with "someone they cared about" but that most of them turned out to be jerks and repeated that all of them would have preferred it had been him. I told him they all said he'd care about me and be sure I enjoyed it.

He protested that he "didn't know anything about virginity."

I said all the other girls seemed to think he knew enough.

Well, diary, I had hoped he'd agree but he was undecided and before leaving to meet Kate said he'd think about it and get back to me.

Oct 5

Ron texted me to meet him in the quad. And guess what? He said he'd do it. Said he'd looked into it and that we should get together twice. I already know when. Less that a week until the first time! October 10th! I'm stoked!!!

Oct 9

It's tomorrow! This wait is killing me. Tomorrow, diary, I'll tell you all about it.

Oct 10

Well, am I still a virgin? Honestly, diary, I'm not sure. One thing I am sure of is that whatever it was, it was fantastic! All except for the part about my vagina being kind of sore.

I guess I should explain the not sure part. My hymen is broken. That's what Ron did today. But I haven't yet had his penis inside me. He's going to do that part on the 14th. For that matter, I haven't even seen his penis, or his underwear, yet. But I could feel a big tube in his pants.

I was nervous all day and had trouble paying attention in class. My stomach was full of butterflies when I went to the quad to meet Ron. He was there already and my legs felt like jelly as I walked up. He was smiling and asked me if I was ready and still wanted to go through with it. I told him I was more than ready and more than ever wanted to do it. He gave me a big kiss and a hug, squeezing my butt gently. I felt his penis pressing against my leg.

He was really sweet and sensed my nervousness. He did all the talking because I could hardly get a word out, my mouth was sooo dry. On the drive over to his place he told me he lived at his aunt and uncle's house. They let him stay in the basement that had been a storage room and dumping ground for their junk. He said he had to clean it up. He told me "My mom arranged it. My aunt doesn't want my cousins to know about my sexual activity so I keep the door closed all the time."

He told me that he had spent time looking into the subject of taking a woman's virginity. "I've been looking into how best to introduce a woman to sex. There's quite a lot about it on the internet."

I asked him about it and he said we should do it gradually. Break your hymen first then give it a chance to heal before actual intercourse. He said that's why he had decided on two meetings. He was only going to break my hymen today.

I thought that sounded too clinical. but he said he would make sure I enjoyed it and that he wasn't planning any exact procedure. He said he thought we would just "play around". And told me he'd do his best to ensure I have a good time. And, diary, he really followed through on that!!!

Then he told me he had a really nice camera and he thought I might want a record of what we do. He told me it was my choice and that He'd edit out anything I wanted deleted. He said he especially thought I might like pictures of my hymen "before it's gone forever," and he said, "I can get you good close-ups. I've never seen a hymen myself. And we can see it as it's broken. I can set it up to get it in slow motion."

That sounded really amazing to me and I told him so, asking "why wouldn't I want that?"

He pointed out that I might worry about him putting it on the internet or sharing it."

I hadn't thought of that but I did want to see it. He assured me that we could delete it right away or that he would immediately give me the memory chip so I could do what I wanted with it and he wouldn't have a copy. I thought that sounded best. So, diary, I have the whole thing recorded. The slow motion is something else. I'll describe that later.

He took me in through a gate to the back yard and a side door. It didn't look like anyone was home as we went down the stairs and I got a peek into the kitchen. He told me his aunt and uncle were at work and his cousins were at school. "No one to bother us for an hour or two."

The basement was really private with a door at the top of the stairs that he locked. Even when they came home we wouldn't be interrupted. There was a bed, a couch, a table and chairs, even a small bathroom with a shower.

I had been shaky and slightly nauseous on the drive but now that we were actually here I felt strangely calm and asked if I should get undressed. For some reason I just felt like being naked in front of him and, of course, wanted to see him naked too.

He told me that we could, but suggested we "begin where we left off."

I didn't know what he meant by "where we left off" and he led me to the to the couch and said, "Yes, with a kiss. Then we'll see when the clothes should come off."

He set up the camera and came to the couch.

He took me in his arms and brought his mouth to mine. As he kissed he pushed his tongue into my mouth. I was surprised and pulled away. I know I shouldn't have but he was understanding and told me to relax and use my own tongue. That sounded kind of gross but I relaxed and let his tongue gently explore my mouth. At the same time he began stroking my body through my clothes. That felt really great but strange. Feelings I'd never really experienced before tingled through me. I pushed my tongue into his mouth. I told him "That's weird." I suppose that was a kind of virginity thing too. I've never kissed a boy before, well not really, there was that boy whose name I don't remember, though you do, diary. The one at that birthday party for the girl I used to play with in the park. And that wasn't a kiss with his tongue in my mouth!

He withdrew his hand and said he could stop. That was the last thing I wanted. His hand felt especially good on my breast so I pulled his hand back, putting it firmly on my breast. I just wanted to feel it there. I really meant that having his tongue in my mouth felt strange and I told him so. He said I didn't need to do it. I said we'd do it however it was supposed to be done and he said there were no rules about how it should be done. "If you feel like it, just bring your mouth to mine. Use your tongue if you want or not." Then he began nuzzling my neck and gently rubbing my breast. I got more and more excited and there was a growing tingle, kind of an itch, in my crotch. I wanted to rub it but had this urge for someone, anyone else to be rubbing me, rubbing my genitals. I didn't know I could feel that way. Anyway, I grabbed his hand and moved it down. But he didn't do what I wanted. Instead he was rubbing my thighs, getting close to but not actually helping me get rid of the incredible "itch". I was gasping for breath as he came close and then moved away. My body was no longer under my control. The whole thing felt incredibly pleasurable but a pleasure that just wasn't all there. It's really hard to describe. He had moved one hand inside my bra and was gently massaging my breast and rubbing my nipple. God, so much pleasure in my breast and belly and crotch. It was almost unbearable. I could feel the crotch of my panties was cold from wetness. Then he pulled his hand from my thigh and slid it inside my panties. My body was squirming almost involuntarily and I knew what I wanted, "Clothes, off, Now!" I told him

He stood and took me by the hand. I stood too even though my body felt like a rag doll. He unzipped my dress and pulled it over my head. Then he led me to the bed where he removed my bra. I felt the chill of the air and my nipples tightening. He kissed them and I felt my body covered in goosebumps. Then he pulled down my panties. I stepped out of them, the air feeling almost cold on my damp crotch. He had me lie on the bed and spread my legs. with both hands kneading my breast he started licking at my genitals. Every time his tongue hit my clitoris a shock of pleasure went through my body and I gasped at its intensity. I just wanted more and more of what he was doing. I grabbed his head to force it harder into my crotch. The pleasure was so intense as to be unbearable but I didn't want it to go away. I heard myself wailing, "Oh God! Oh God, Stop! No, don't stop! Stop! Keep going!" You know I rub my clitoris myself sometimes and it was kind of like that but having a guy doing it, well, it's different, and better.

Waves of pleasure intensified as I felt him concentrating on my clitoris, licking faster and harder. Then my body erupted in an explosion of pleasure. that I couldn't hold back or stop. My body was vibrating like my dad's motorboat and Ron was fueling it with a finger at my clitoris. He stopped but my abdomen kept throbbing and the pleasurable feeling persisted for some time. Ron kissed me and I pulled him to me. My tongue all the way in his mouth I kissed him back hard and passionately. That's how to kiss I thought to myself.

I felt totally relaxed and released the kiss asking him if I was still a virgin. He told me I was since my hymen is still intact and he never penetrated me. Then I asked if sex was always like that, so intense. He said it was always great for him but he didn't know other than that women seemed to really like it. He told me they reacted differently ( some screamed, some laughed, some made other noises, very few were quiet) but all of them had strong body and abdominal movements like I did.

While we were talking he was setting up his camera and attached it to the wide screen TV. He told me I could watch while it's recording.

I asked him if we were going to have actual intercourse now but he said he was going to break my hymen first and reminded me that we'd have intercourse Friday.

I adjusted myself to see the TV. as Ron focused the camera close-up on my vulva. Fleshy, and hairy labia filled the screen. the flaps of my minor labia spread slightly from the slit. He gently stroked the flaps with his finger. I watched them come out of hiding and a tiny, smooth, shinny ball that was my clitoris appeared at the top of the screen. Ron moved his finger to my clitoris and stroked it. I felt the excitement of pleasure growing in my crotch. I noticed my genitals gradually getting pinker. The flaps of my labia seemed to stick together as they expanded and then they suddenly blossomed, pulling slightly apart revealing glistening, damp pinkness inside.

Diary, it was fascinating to watch. So fascinating that I didn't realize how aroused I was. But then Ron's clitoral manipulations gave me a sudden start. I jerked as he stroked my clitoris. At that he stopped and used his fingers to spread my labial flaps wider. He spread my vaginal opening wide and pointed to a thin pinkish film of skin with two small holes on the screen. "I think that's it. Can you see it?" he asked.

He adjusted the camera so that the vaginal entry filled the screen. As he once again pulled my labia apart the thin film was clearly obvious. He started the slow motion recording and took what looked to be a letter opener from the night stand. He told me he had sterilized it with bleach and alcohol to use because his finger would get in the way of the camera.