All Comments on 'Person Modifier 2001 Ch. 01'

This exact story has been rewritten multiple times. Ya gotta add something new and spice it up a bit.

The story is a good example of technology gone good.

Mike has the way to make all his sexual dreams cum true, Keep the story coming!!

Maybe have Mike have his other sister in a threesome with Jane or even have his mom get into the action with Mike Jane and Lou, a foursome, WOW, what a dream come true for Mike, and he can use this on other girls he finds sexy!!!

Keep on writing!

Hey I'm pretty sure koalaking did this exact story with the memory loss, the blood pact, and the sister. I think he did master pc, but everything is eerily similar

should be under incest

It's a good start. Don't be bothered by the claims it's been done before, so what. If it's a good story and it engages the reader then it is worth it. Keep on writing.

This is a total re-make of KoalaKing's story Master PC Reboot written in March 2017. His was better.

This is so close it should be part of the master PC universe

I liked the story, but one of my biggest problems is that when he gets it, he just instantly knows how to use it. You've seen it in the other comments, this type of story has been done before, and one of the great things that happens in those stories is that we learn what it does along with the character. Too late now I guess.

I liked it.

twins sisters , one ex-model single mom and one a bully? at 19 years old?

I didn't get past that since it ruined the whole thing. proofreading is good

If you've read one Master PC story then you've probably read them all. But I like the twist you've added where he loses his memory of the program and changes he's made before the encounter with his sister. That gives him a unique perspective when the sex happens. I like that - hope it continues in future chapters.

I would keep reading. 😀

Slow start, a little predictable. But I'll continue. I have hope.36

Hope you do Continue. it would be a shame to have a 1 & Done.

...set by your MasterPC predecessors. After all, this IS in that vernacular, even if you changed the name.

A bit choppy, but a great start. You should work on characterization and dialog. Try reading your character's comments out and see if they sound normal. If not, revise.

You opened a door to mods on several characters, but need more depth in the story and in the characters to pull it off.

Also, either get editorial help or spend a LOT more time editing and revising.

There were a lot of niggling little errors of spelling and grammar that were left in the text. You know that makes the reading experience proportionately rougher and less pleasant. So, if you do the post authoring work (that would be editing and revision), until your story fairly hums with sleek energy, you'll gain a following and loyalty you may not deserve.

Audiences can be fickle and cruel, as well as sycophantic and worshipfully loyal. The good ones see your offering for what it is and offer you comments and loyalty in return.

As I said...a bit rough, but a good start. You are a story-teller, but need some effort to refine your craft and develop your skills.

Looking forward to your next installment and to see who the hell is Mary Beth Johnson (especially if there is a personal element to that insert!) and where the hell was Lou while our boy was fucking the lights out of Jae....

Thank you.

This story significant promise. Sure, it's hardly a new idea, but what in porn is, or could be? I would like a bit more detail, hopefully that will come with future chapters. Barukiv, the very fact that I want to see more, even much more of this story, means you are off to a very fine start. Please don't let your readers down by failing to continue, this promising effort.

Thank You for sharing your work. It is appreciated.

amy