Plain Jane Full of Surprises

"You might not want to hear. It may upset you."

Aveline smiled. "Is that so. Now you have me really interested. Spit it out."

"In my presence, and that's all I can talk about, you openly favored Casey over her older sister Robyn. I first noticed when you asked Casey to help you serve dinner; Robyn's head dropped."

Aveline sat frozen.

"You told me you were so proud of Casey's selection in her college ski team and throughout the meal you told me things about Casey but never once did you mention Robyn. In fact Tim was chirping away and Robyn practically said nothing so I wonder why?"

"Oh God," Aveline groaned. "Robyn is mentally and physically lazy rather than slow and conversationally passive, just like my sister Nancy was. I gradually began ignoring Nancy until it was almost as if she wasn't there, not that she complained. And now I'm behaving exactly the same way with Robyn."

"But unintentionally?"

"God yes."

"But now you know and will gradually attempt to slowly address it, rather than saying anything or going at it like a bull at a gate."

"Yes, that's common sense, isn't it?"

Jane smiled and took Aveline's hand. "I bet in every other way you are a great mother."

Aveline stared at Jane. "Teddy sees something in you but he doesn't know what it is. You are most unusual Jane and I think I know what it might be. You are different, you see things differently, you approach things differently and you don't allow garbage to clutter your mind and your emotions are perhaps minimally developed. You don't appear to care how you look, what others may think of you simply because it doesn't matter to you. Your whole focus is tuned into getting on with your life, without garbage. It allows you to see clearly, to think clearly."

"Okay, enough Aveline. I've had experts tell me that and more. Actually very well done because your discipline is surgical, not psychology. You know yourself not to rush it with Robyn. She's slow and clumsy and that's why you've turned more to Casey rather than some mirrored behavioral linkage with your sister as a child, at least that's my hunch. If I'm correct the problem is not deep-seated."

"You may be right. In fact it will be best if I do think you right. I will take is easy and in fact I know a subtle way to take a big step forward. Robyn asked for money to book for a trip to Mexico for the Spring Break and I said no. I'll call her and say I've had a change of mind because I remember going on wild Spring Breaks and they didn't change me from being me."

"Oh great, and make sure you give her that explanation for the mind change. It sounds totally convincing, not doubt because it's the truth."

"You are a tonic for me young lady. Now no protests. I booked you into my hairdresser's when you called earlier in the week. Your appointment is at 4:00 so we have time for me to buy you dress, underwear and shoes."

"I'll buy the shoes, I'll allow you to buy the dress because I know it's what you want to do."

"No, I'm buying and you can smother me with thanks."

"Thank you and now for a barb. "When did you last take Robyn out shopping?"

"Oh god."

CHAPTER 2

Jane's mother said, "Oh look at you. You look a million dollars."

"Thanks mom," Jane said, aware her mom was sober or appeared so. She hoped her mother wouldn't ask because Jane knew only told the truth."

"That get-up looks very expensive. What did it cost?"

"I honestly don't know. Leave it mom."

"You don't know. Well I know you wouldn't have stolen the dress and shoes and they look too new to have come from a hire store. I want to know Jane."

"Mrs Rosso paid for them. I'm going to a big dinner tonight with her son and she wanted me looking good because it will probably be filmed and a clip will run on TV news."

"You allowed Mrs Rosso to pay for them?"

"She insisted. I have plenty of money but she insisted. I think perhaps her daughters are never out of jeans and tops."

"Well I suppose that explains it. That woman is a big-time surgeon so will be creaming in the money."

Jane dropped the suggestion on to her mom. "Would you like to meet Mrs Rosso?"

"Yes I would. I have seen her at functions and spoke to her briefly a couple of times."

"What about coffee this Sunday morning?"

"Well I don't know. I might have a big night Saturday."

"Right, 10:00 on Sunday. Mrs Rosso will brighten your days; she's lovely."

* * *

Teddy called that he was about to enter Swanson.

Jane replied, "Stay on the street, I'll run out. Toot when you arrive."

Her mother waited with Jane in the hallway, stroking the side of Jane's velvet dress.

"This reminds me of the times before marriage when I used to date," he mother said softly.

"Oh mom, how I love it when you are free of the demon in liquor," Jane said, without passion, kissing her mom on the cheek.

Twin air-horns blasted and that was the end of mother-daughter intimacy.

Teddy sat in the car. Jane stood by her unopened door, dressed entirely inadequately for the swirling chilly wind but this was 'High Noon'.

"Oh sheet," she heard her date groan. His door flew open and he ran around dressed in something that reminded her of Elvis Presley and opened her door and bowed, saying, "Welcome to my Pumpkin Coach my princess."

Jane entered, giggling.

"And how am I to gain entry beneath your panties this evening," asked the prince as they approached the venue.

"Convince you are worthy and my kingdom is yours," answered the princess, sending the prince into a cackling fit and he almost crashed into the ticket dispensing machine.

A big cheer went up as they entered and subsided even faster when eyes had had time to rove over his unknown partner. She was slightly taller than their star, an absolute no-no, she was not blonde – the hair color could be described as multiple-browns – and although it had been combed-up, obviously professionally, it was neither long nor short and without defining features, bereft even of ornamentation. She was made up but photogenic? No. The black body-hugging dress was expensively stylish but where were the tits or even padding, the belly was rounded and the outline of thighs looked powerful, not fat but definitely not star quality. The lower legs were as good, possibly fabulous and the shoes? They were something, really something.

The room had fallen silent and someone called, "Who's the babe?"

Teddy pulled on his Number 1 smile and said, "Everyone, this is Jane McClay, a female genius."

The women reacted as if they felt threatened and the guys reached nervously for their glass.

"She's cool but a little wholesome," Teddy said to the perhaps eighty people in the room. "Jane won't bite, and don't feel threatened. Come on, let's party."

The band resumed playing and with cocktail hour ended wait staff began showing people to their tables.

Hours later on the way home Teddy said, "I had thought of humping you on the back seat but mom asked me to fetch you home."

It was almost 2:00 in the morning and Aveline in her dressing gown came to the door accessing the garages.

"Oh hello darling," she greeted and kissed Jane warmly. "I've made up the guest room for your two if you wish to stay."

"That is lovely Aveline. Yes I'll stay if Teddy wants me to."

Teddy looked slightly fazed. "Yes of course. Why are you two are acting as if you are friends?"

"Jane is fast becoming one of the best friends I have."

That reply had Teddy scratching his head.

Aveline whispered to Jane. "Delivering my change of mind worked beyond my wildest expectation. Robyn has been all over me calling me 'Mommy darling'. I can't remember when she last called me that."

"Well, she too has some catching up to do."

"Coffee ladies?" Teddy asked, wondering what the hell was going on.

"No thank you," chorused the two women, in perfect timing adding with not such perfect timing, "It's time for bed."

Teddy began undressing Jane rather slowly. He confessed, "I'm not sure what I will find."

"Sorry to disappoint but you'll not find I've sprouted a penis"

Teddy's hands shook as his body rocked to suppressed laughter.

Finally he had Jane stripped to her stockings and was sniffing her knickers. She asked calmly what did he think.

"You carry a bit too much weight, your breasts are no larger than my hands but the nipples are awesome."

"So do I jump into bed and go to sleep or do you wish to fuck me?"

"Um, make love to you."

"Teddy, grow up. You don't love me so how can you make love to me?"

"Well what you said." He caught Jane's disapproving look so hastened, "I wish to fuck you."

"Right, I'm going on to the bed and want to watch you undress. Then you run the seduction."

"It's late, can we do the slow seduction some other time?"

Jane said, "If I disappoint there won't be another time."

"I'll work at improve your techniques. The biggest fault with women they don't realize the level of the participation expected of them."

Jane adopted a rather studious look. "Oh really, that sounds very enlightening."

Teddy said nothing and unzipped. What jumped out caught Jane's breath.

Jane sucked him, didn't swallow but spat out and rubbed his semen on to her chest. That earned her a big tick.

She lay on her back and did little, and earned two angry crosses.

They finished with doggy and once again she was static but her muffled screams earned something so for that in Teddy's head was awarded half a point.

"How did I go?" she asked without emotion.

"I knew you were there, but only just?

"Is that criticism?"

He rocked, muffling his laughter to avoid waking up the household and to try to avoid upsetting Jane.

But to his surprise she took it on the chin. She kissed him when he said she had a beautiful cunt and didn't scowl when he added it was a pity she didn't know how to use it.

"Then you are prepared to tutor me?"

He nodded.

"More active communication would be appreciated."

"Yes, I'll tutor you. It would be a waste to mankind if I failed to do that?"

"Ooooh," Jane yawned, her green eyes widening. A bolt of something seemed to leap out of her and seize Teddy's heart. For half a second he thought he was having a heart attack but when she said, "I'll be useless, I'm almost asleep but fuck me if you wish to get another shot away, Teddy realized Jane had won his heart. He too was tired, so he pulled her on to his chest and went to sleep and dream erotically about Jane becoming the best fuck on the planet. That was the thing about dreams...

Aveline entered the room with coffee and after hearing sleepy thanks she discreetly opened the French doors to air the room.

"You two look lovely there together. It's great to at least see you with a lady at your side Teddy."

"Thanks mom."

"Jane, we are going on to the lake for a cruise, the last lake picnic before the launch is mothballed for the winter."

"Thank you Aveline, but I'd feel I were intruding on the last lake outing before winter."

"I had two other children at the breakfast table who joined Casey in urging me to ask you to join us. They knew you probably would be spending the night here."

"Oh."

"I don't want Jane to come mom. I'd much rather her disappoint you and the kids."

"Aveline, thank you for the kind invitation; I accept."

In the shower Teddy lifted up Jane and spiked her. She was aware he was under considerable strain because she was no lightweight and could see the bulging tendons in his neck. So she whispered into her ear, "Fuck me, fuck me" and told Teddy what she was feeling and thinking and she thumped back at him to try to bring him quickly to his climax. She ended up with a shriek, emptying herself, and Teddy just jerked and jerked into her groaning and they tumbled into a heap into the corner of the shower, but with no damage done.

"Oh," Teddy groaned. "I feel I'll never be able to walk again."

"Oh darling, are you hurt," Jane worried, wide-eyed.

"No you fool. Fuck you have a great deal to learn."

Jane giggled, looking ever so pleased.

Ralph Russo started the inboard engine and when he put it into gear it immediately stalled.

"Fuck," he growled, "something is caught around the propeller."

Teddy called, "It's a rope – I can see it dad."

He fiddled around without success. Ralph growled, "Someone will have to go in to untangled it. The water will be freezing; our wetsuits are at home."

"I'll go dad," Casey said, beginning to strip off."

"No wait."

Casey turned to look at Jane curiously.

Jane said, "Why weren't you a volunteer Robyn?"

"What's the use, I'm never picked."

"Tim, why are you chicken. Does cold water frighten you?"

He grinned. "Okay you bully. I volunteer."

Jane said and so did she and invited Aveline to pick someone to take the cold plunge. Of course Jane had seen what was coming and said, "Well if Robyn is beefing about not being picked I pick her."

"Thanks mom," Robyn said sarcastically, and began throwing off layers of clothing until she was down to her bra and panties. She then jumped over the side without ado. She came up gasping. "Fuck, this will freeze my tits off me."

Everyone including her mother laughed. Aveline then urged her to hurry. Two duck dives later the rope came free and Teddy took up the slack and pulled it in. Ralph pulled Robyn from the water and grinning said her breasts were obviously still attached. Aveline wrapped a towel around Robyn and said, "Into the shower for you my heroine. Thank goodness the shower is instant-gas heated."

Aveline was up on the fly bridge at the helm when Jane took up a bottle of wine and two glasses. Tim and Teddy had gone to sleep and Casey and Robyn were reading magazines before preparing lunch.

"Oh thanks lovely lady. Sorry about the chill. In summer this is a dream cruising along up here with an elevated view.

"So it's the last memory of autumn?"

Aveline smiled and said she was surprised Jane had set up Robyn. "You advised me to go slow, so no one would notice."

"Correct, but it was the perfect set up. I figured Tim with his usual smart backchat would be the diversion I needed. Only you and I weren't suckered, don't you think?"

"Indeed. It was beautifully executed and I know Robyn feels good about herself. She called from the shower she was pleased she'd done something worthwhile for the family and she wanted Teddy to look at her practically nude body because her wet underwear was practically transparent."

"Oh goodness," Jane said, slapping a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter. "College experience is making her more liberal."

"Yes but I want her father and her brother out of her sights," Aveline said, appearing a little worried.

"Well if she loses perspective her brother and father are unlikely to yield I would think."

'Oh there goes Miss Sense and Sensibility again. Thank you for pacifying me darling."

"Aveline, you have two daughters who deserve to be call darling ahead of me."

"Ouch," Aveline said, smacking her hand.

* * *

On Monday when arriving at work Jane noticed fellow-workers looking at her with more than usual attention and Maggie's wide grin almost split her mouth. When she was almost to the door to the sealed environment of IT Rose rushed up to her.

"Well done Jane. Is it big."

No understanding Jane said she didn't understand.

"Does he have a big dick," Rose said and racing back to the desk of one of her workmates came back with Page 5 of the morning newspaper open. Jane gasped when she saw a photo of herself from the knees up in the embrace of Teddy. The caption quoted Teddy as saying, 'We're just good friends."

"Just good friends?" Rose sneered. "Look, he almost has it up you in this picture."

Jane looked but couldn't see that; Rose was obviously allowing her jealousy to twist her mind. She handed the newspaper back and said, "Thank you Rose. Spare a thought for the guy always being pestered by the media. At that time of night and on our first date he hadn't had time to deliver a proposition aimed at opening my legs."

Rose, mouth stuck open, took the newspaper and watched Jane walk off. It took a lot to stun Rose.

In each episode of 'Heartbreak Street' the main character Rodin, acted by Teddy, pretends to become infatuated with an attractive young woman in an attempt to make the female lead, Madison, played by Alaina Washington, jealous and force her to take a stronger interest in him.

The director and producer of the series looked at the newspaper photo.

"She is really Plain Jane," said Gus Olsen.

"Plain women who've grabbed life in their hands often have a great personality that leaps out of the screen," said Sharon O'Farrell, the producer. "Call her in for a screen test Teddy. This is the first time you've asked us to choose anyone for this role. Please make it you last."

"Up yours Sharon," he snapped and she laughed.

Jane listened to Teddy's request, almost stunned. "Are you sure you know what you're doing. If it bombs I will be humiliated."

"If you come through the screen test okay and your diction is good, which it is, the director will know within thirty minutes of rehearsal whether you are going to make it or he'll call it off. So how can you be humiliated?"

"Okay I'll accept providing I can write the script for my parts with you. I know the formula because I've watched the show since it launched. I wrote comedy sketches at university."

"Writing script for performance to a house of drunk students means nothing."

"We filled two nights at the Johnston Memorial Theater and went on tour for four weeks and gained, in the main, great reviews."

"Dinkum?"

"Yes dinkum, whatever that is."

"Christ, at last a something even if it's only a word you don't know about. It is a slang word seeking confirmation that's the truth."

Teddy called back. "The producer and director laughed their heads off. You're halfway there. The deal is if they find your script acceptable they'll use if otherwise you'll use the provided script, that is if you get that far."

"Laughed their heads off did they?" Jane said ominously. "Then tell them it's a deal and they won't need anyone to write script when I get my contract as a two-bit player."

"Have you had any acting experience?"

"No but it's not that difficult if under direction. I look at actors objectively and subjectively."

"Huh."

"I note things."

"Jane, I don't think you realize acting is an art developed from hard grind..."

Jane sniffed and said, "Thank you Teddy, I expect encouragement from you, not acting like leader of the non-believers."

"Oh shit, sorry Jane. I'm backing you one hundred percent."

Jane returned a good film test and Gus found her easy to direct and she projected energy and personality that met his basic requirements. He called Sharon who told him to schedule Jane in for shooting a part in the series in five weeks. She laughed and said, "Tell her she has three weeks to lodge her script with us. It will be mid-winter and snowing so tell her we require some outdoor shooting and some action on the street and in a couple of the houses for which we have sets."

"She won't know what we are talking about."

"That's what I'll be telling Bess and Jennifer to wrote the entire script for that show."

Sharon and Gus were yawning in bed after robust sex. Sharon said, "I should be heading home."

"Yeah, no wait," said Gus. "Jane handed me her script this afternoon; I shoved it in my bag. There are two copies."

They read in silence until Sharon said, "I can't believe this..."

"She must be a fucking professional script writer taking us for a ride," Gus said. "I'm calling her to really check her out. Damn, she's given her contact number as Teddy's number. I'll call him."

"Hi, it's Gus."

"Yeah, what do you want; I'm watching boxing on TV?"