Plain Jane Full of Surprises

"This female pal of yours, Jane. "Is she or has she been a scriptwriter."

"No, apart from doing some comedy skits at university. She actually went back there today."

"What for?"

"A 10-day high pressure course."

"What on, script writing."

"Nah something to do with her PhD. She finishes this year and expects to be notified it's been awarded early in the new year."

"You're kidding me."

"I'm not. There's been a knockdown. Bye."

Sharon said, "This is great. It needs work done on it but it's refreshingly different. The only problem is Rodin has not had sex with anyone other that Alaina up until now."

"Will it might be the gee-up the shows needs and viewers will find out the shock causes Alaina to take a step closer to Rodin. We'll have to talk to Madison and Teddy about this. Madison is unlikely to like it because Teddy is fucking Jane instead of her, but I guess the promise of more time on camera will shift her our way, if this goes ahead."

Sharon said, "I have a feeling about this Gus. It just could be our biggest night with the show to date. What did Teddy say?"

Gus licked his lips, knowing Sharon always liked being surprised and usually came out with a great retort. "Teddy says she wrote a few skits for the theater students at university and that's all. She's now gone to university for ten days and listen to this: to finish off or near to finish off her PhD in computer science. She's gone in for the practical stuff."

"PhD? That girl is barely into an adult woman's bra! God, no wonder she hasn't got looks; she's got brains!"

Gus fell about laughing.

To everyone's surprise, Madison (Alaina) accepted the script. Doubt remained until the read-through when Madison said, "Can't you see what Jane was thinking when she wrote this? She wrote herself out leaving me a stronger and more popular person on the street and looking at Rodin with greater interest. If you can't see that creatively to bang that home to viewers Gus then stand aside and allow Jane to be actor-director."

"I know no more about directing than I know why guys have a second testicle," Jane said, breaking the tension, as everyone laughed. Gus had the grace to say that was a close shave for his standing with the show. "Anyone with ideas feed them to me, especially you Madison."

"I'll call around one night this week Gus," said Madison, earning a huge glare from Sharon.

The filming of Episode 22 of 'Heartbreak Street' took place under tight security. The client TV station had agreed it was time to lift the show to increase ratings and to prolong its sustainability. The entire marina was cordoned off for the half-day shooting, not that it was really necessary because it was snowing heavily, keeping strollers off the streets and away from the lake.

For the week prior to the screening of Episode 22 the promo advertising in newspapers, on radio and TV was muted, almost sinister...

'Heartbreak comes for Alaina in the next screening of 'Heartbreak Street after she feels threatens when the over-sexed therapist Dr Alexis Turnbull arrives to stay with her former college friend, Rodin's sister Trish. When word gets out that Alexis is a sex therapist, suddenly half the street appears to have become sexually dysfunctional and at Lucy's bar gather around Alexis seeking free advice. Alexis sees Rodin grinning at everyone and asks the question that turns Alaina's life upside down and ends in tragedy. Be watching 'Heartbreak Street on Channel 8 next Wednesday night at 9:30. It will be heart-breaking.'

On Wednesday morning a small notice was placed on the notice board of the staff café at Simpson, Dome and Fischer:

'If anyone is interested watch 'Heartbreak Street' on TV8 at 9:30 tonight (Wednesday). I play a small part. Jane of IT.'

Jane's own staff and friends asked her how small a part was small, but she refused to say. At lunch she looked across at caught the stare of Rose and Rose winked at her. As they were leaving Rose said, the dumb women. None of them know. I won't say anything."

At that Jane knew Rose had guessed her secret. Who said Rose was a bimbo? Oh..."

Aveline and Belinda had become very friendly and although Belinda still drank she had committed to calling Aveline whenever she felt like going beyond two normal glasses of alcohol. Aveline said she believed drink had taken a wee hold of Belinda but Belinda had stepped up her drinking to compensate for her loneliness because she'd cut herself off from her friends and resigned from two of her clubs, isolating herself. The two women now went out socially quite frequently and Belinda had joined Aveline's bridge club.

On Wednesday night the two families grouped at the Rosso's home at 9:15 to watch 'Heartbreak Street" and Teddy served champagne, saying it was a special show.

As the opening credits rolled sharp-eyed Belinda was the only one to notice it: "Look, it says and special assistant scriptwriter Jane McClay."

"Jane wrote almost a quarter of the script of this episode." Teddy said proudly.

Aveline said good show Jane and others added their congratulations.

The show build up before the unsuspecting audience and then came the meeting when Rodin (Teddy) arrives home from his law office and his sister Trish says, "Rodin, meet my dear friend and therapist consultant Dr Alexis Turnbull."

The camera turns slightly to the right and into camera view walks Alexis.

The Rosso's lounged turned into uproar with everyone screaming, "It's Jane."

From that moment the program turned into a scorcher. It showed characters in bar gathered around giving Alexis vivid details of problems in their sex life. Then Alexis looks through a gap in the crowd around her and catches the mocking smile of Rodin.

"And what dysfunction do you have in your sex life Rodin?"

"None, it continues on as smoothly as my 450-horsepower custom modified sedan."

"I don't believe you Rodin. Everyone has at least one sex problem."

"Okay, I'll be frank with you Alexis," he said, scratching behind his right ear and then digging his hands into his jeans and hanging his thumbs over the top. "My problem is I can never get enough."

The crowd in the bar fell about laughing while Rodin and Alexis just stared at one another. The scene faded for an ad break.

Jane saw the two mothers were sitting with their mouths open, Robyn and Casey had cushions clasped tightly to their chests and were giggling and all the guys were looking at each other and sniggering.

Belinda said, "I can see where this is leading. There's going to be sex isn't it, for the first time other than Alaina and Rodin?"

"Yes mom."

"Oh dear."

By the time Teddy had filled everyone's glass with more champagne (Belinda declining because she'd already had consumed two) the show was on again. It showed Alexis going into Rodin's darkened bedroom and saying, "I'm here to top you up with sex, to ensure you do get enough."

There is the sound of bedding covers being tossed aside and bedsprings creaking and Rodin says, "Your timing is perfect. Look what I have here for you."

'Put the light on, I can't see,' says Alexis in a passion-filled voice.

Aveline screamed "Oh God," and her two daughters clutched their pillows giggling uncontrollably.

"Hmmmm. This is one of the hottest things I've seen on TV for a long time, at least on this side of midnight," said Jane's father William.

"Why did they have to cut the scene there," whined Tim.

Belinda said thank goodness it did and added, "Darling, you are very credible as an untutored actress."

"Thank you mom. Gus had to work his butt off with me."

The program continued, developing the theme of Alexis arriving to deepen the rift between Alaina and Rodin. Finally there is a slanging match between the two women and everyone is cheering them on. Rodin breaks them apart and says, "Come on you two, this is not something to have out in a bar. Let's discuss it like sensible adults out in the car. No, I know a better place.

They walk gingerly through the snow on slippery timber decking at the marina and board a launch. Robin looks at his keys and says, 'Damn, I put my launch key away for winter. There's a spare taped in the anchor locker.'

As Rodin is going around the outside of the saloon he slips and tumbles over the safety rail into the icy water.

Both women scream and begin stripping off.

'Help me,' Rodin cries. 'My heavy clothes are dragging me down.'

'I'm the direct cause of this," says Alexis. 'Put your jacket back on and pull him aboard while I support him in the water and try lifting him a bit.'

She strips to her bra and panties, revealing quite a lovely figure.

Alexis jumps in, screams with the cold, and helps Rodin, weakening from struggling, back to the side of the boat. He begins climbing up the boarding ladder, assisted from above by Alaina.

'I-I don't think I can m-make it,' Rodin says, teeth chattering.

"Push, push you bitch," Alaina screams.

Alexis calls weakly, 'I'm trying. I'm losing strength. It's so cold...it's becoming dark."

"It's no darker than before. Push you bitch," she screams, bringing a night watchman to the scene. He jumps aboard and he and Alaina pull Rodin to safety.

Alaina looks over the side of the board and says, 'You can come up now Alexis' and she screams as she watches Alexis, hair floating to frame her head, slowly sinks into the dark depths.

"Alexis!" screams Alaina, and only by using immense strength does the night watchman prevent her from jumping in to try to save Alexis.

"One drowning is enough," growls the night watchman. He points to a security camera on a pole. "The cops will want that tape...it's your silent, reliable witness."

Everyone in the room is silent. The three younger women including Jane and her mother are weeping. William and Guy are finishing their wine and Tim is blowing his nose.

"Ohmigod," Aveline said, and begins clapping. The others except Jane and Teddy who is now blowing his noise, add to the applause.

"You were magnificent Jane," Aveline said, blowing her a kiss. Did you write the bedroom scene and that marina scene?"

Jane nodded, wiping her eyes.

"Truly memorable darling. That was by far the best episode of 'The Street'.

"It's the first time I've watched it," Guy said. "Rather good. Kept my attention."

"You made a lovely actress Jane," said her mother. "What you did to Alaina and Rodin will draw them closer together as a result of this tragedy. Alaina will know she almost lost Rodin and she will accept that Alexis saved her life by insisting she stay aboard."

"Mom, mom...that is what we wanted people to think, to be eager for next week's chapter. Oh, I'm so pleased to hear you say that. The cast of course said that would be the reaction when the clip was played to them but of course we all are biased...you spoke as a viewer although with some bias."

"The producer and director expected this to be the best episode to date and after previewing the edited film believed it will be," Teddy said. "Sharon and Gus have been in the business a long time...I respect their opinion. If you and they are correct, it will boost the show's ratings."

CHAPTER 3

The families were enjoying hot chowder and crispy rolls for supper when Teddy took a call. The heard him say "Hi...What?...Fucking fantastic...What now? Okay. She's here with me...Thanks, see you soon."

Smiling hugely Teddy said, "That was our director Gus. He's at the TV studio and calls are flooding in raving about the show or complaining about its indecently. They've already logged more than 150 calls of people wanting a re-run screened before next Wednesday. The CEO has just arrived at the station and is throwing a party just for the cast now and it's to honor you Jane. Gus said he was watching the show in the studio theater with a really wide mix of people and at the end even the guys were blowing their noses and some of the women were exhibiting real grief. Jane, he says everyone including him threw everything into this episode because of the high standards you set yourself and sweated to achieve them. He wants more scripts from you."

"No."

"But Jane..."

"Don't be too hasty dear," said her mother.

"It's just not my chosen thing Teddy. I'm aiming to climb the corporate ladder, if not with my company, then with another company that rewards talent and effective input."

"Well whatever," said Teddy. "Slap some lipstick on...we have a party to go to."

Jane took a call and ended by saying thanks Mrs Oliver. You are very kind. And then another and she giggled and said thank you Rose. No one has ever called me sexy. Yes, I do think I have lovely legs...are you coming on to me Rose? She giggled and said goodnight Rose."

Switching off her phone Jane said, "They were two callers from the office. Rose is a bimbo with a brain...I do believe that's possible Teddy. She just told me she loves acting the part of a dumb blonde. You'll remember she was all over you at the office. She says the technique pulls in the cream of men to her bed. The other caller was my boss and deputy CE0. She congratulated me. She wants me to see her first thing in the morning."

"If the woman has sense she will be offering you her job," Aveline said loyally. She smiled softly at Jane as she said, "Robyn, please serve more chowder to anyone who wants more."

"Robyn," Jane said. "You seem to be asked to do more things for your mother than from when I first visited here?"

Aveline lost her smile.

"Yes, my mother seems to have recognized at last I'm not as useless at I look. But she's not the only one. More guys at college are sniffing around."

"Perhaps you are just a late developer Robyn?"

"Whatever. I saw it as a confidence lag."

"Well in recent weeks you have become a more interesting sister," Casey said. "And I noticed the other night your breasts are almost as large as mine."

"Really?"

"Oh this is crap," Teddy said. "Jane...the party?"

"You guys should be proud of your mother as a mother I mean, rather than an achiever. I think she is an amazing woman and love her for befriending me. I'm now proud of my own mother now she's averted from becoming a lush."

"Jane."

"Shut up dad. I've not heard you say at home you are proud of the progress mom is making. Mom, this is my public acknowledgement that I am proud of the progress you are making and it's so wonderful having my mother back as a full person. You are the only mother I can ever have and it's important to me to have you know that. You were so wonderful to me when I was growing up, encouraging me to make something of myself in life. You being a former high school teacher was, of course, of great assistance to me but you also stood right behind me all the way through university...and where were you dad?"

Looking around her Jane said, "Robyn, Casey and Tim and perhaps even you Teddy if you ever hit a rough patch or a void in your lives; please think twice about hitting the bottle to try to carpet over that patch or void because the reality is it's the very wrong thing to do. I know I'm sounding like a preacher but so what? The principles are sound – drink booze for pleasure not as a comforter. Mom I love you," Jane said, running around the table to her and weeping without shame.

"Thank you darling. I really think I needed to hear that, in public, although knowing we are among friends. You have such a wonderful mind darling and it is a real pleasure to hear it in full cry. You going off to work and pursing your own life did leave a void in my life and now Aveline rather than my husband is assisting me to fill it. Off you two darlings go."

Teddy stood and shuffled. "Since this seems a time of confessions may I say Jane is making me a better person. Mr McClay, what Jane is saying is pay more attention to Mrs McClay. None of us should have to add to that. Goodnight everyone, I'm off to take the plainest looking female in our cast to be hailed by those other females. What I have learned from Jane is you don't have to be the most beautiful woman around to be the princess. Wow, is this me saying that?"

Guy said, "What you said was good Teddy and thanks. And thank you for what you Jane and I'm surprised what you said about loving Belinda. My impression was you two had widened a gap between you. This is rather enlightening. Kiss me before going off to your moment of triumph Jane; I know you will have worked damn hard to achieve it. Your mother and I are very proud of you and you act really well Teddy."

Jane and Teddy kissed or hugged everyone and left.

In the car Teddy said, "You know, tonight's the first time I've seen your mom look genuinely happy."

Jane burst into tears leaving Teddy wondering if he'd said the right or the wrong thing but the answer to that came. When Jane began fixing her face she said sweetly, "That was very lovely of your to say that Teddy. We all will now have a great time together in a week away at the wedding."

* * *

It really did seem like 'Hail the princes' when they arrived at the studio where the party was underway, most members of the cast and key members of the crew already gathered.

The two regular scriptwriters Bess and Jennifer were among the first to rush up and kiss Jane, offering congratulations.

Right on midnight the TV station's CEO hushed everyone and welcomed everyone particularly the new stimulus for the show Jane McClay.

"Stay standing everyone and let's watch that concluding scene again."

The clip was viewed in silence, apart from the clink of bottle against glass and the odd cough. And when it finished there were cries of 'Bravo' and 'More' and 'Author, author'.

"Yes, let's hear from the person responsible for writing that last scene and doing the unthinkable, writing herself out," said the CEO.

Jane went up and stood beside him.

"What a wonderful night for the show and I feel humble that I was permitted to contribute. I know it took guts to accept me and I thank Teddy for pushing me forward and Sharon and Gus for assessing the risk and taking it, although both actually told me they were taking no risk at all. I was confident my bits of the overall script would slot in well enough but pushed boundaries a little and I think that's what has to be done – otherwise the show will sprout cobwebs. But for goodness sake Jennifer and Bess, don't make it into a sex free for-all. Perhaps I have shown it could be a good thing to occasional invited participation of a guest writer to provide a few scenes, widening the creative and intellectual input to enhance the collective good. Who knows? The underlying themes, of course, must stay."

"As you all know I'm not and actor's A-hole (laughter) and thank the support team, particularly Gus, for getting me through my scenes so I looked quite okay I thought (cheers and clapping). This of course was a visitation – I'll not be associating with the show again although will remain a viewer. Script writing is damn hard work and I have my own career to chase. This has been a wonderful learning and uplifting experience for me and I thank everyone for supporting me and producing such a damn good show."

The CEO kissed and thanked Jane for her "massive contribution".

"I must say that because what else had changed? In recent weeks public feedback had become negligible. This is the record for tonight when our switchboard team left at 11:00. Complaints 21 mainly relating to the sexual disclosures made to Alexis and the bedroom scene but five complaints were received about Alexis stripping off before plunging in to her ultimate death. Personally I lapped that up and my complaint Guy is why did you leave on the bra and panties! (huge laughter). We received 344 requests to replay that episode – we will, on Tuesday evening at 9:30 and 1023 calls offering outright praise. We now have fingers crossed hoping for a good press in the morning."