All Comments on 'Playing Cards'

You really needed to do more editing on this story. You even left an editing note embedded in the text, but there were a lot more problems than that, including noticeable spelling issues and changes of the tense within the same sentence.

I liked the story overall. It has a fairly good buildup, decent rewards, and is for the most part structured well. But, there was one important element that I felt was lacking...

Who the heck is Kira? A coworker? Girlfriend? Wife? Slave? Someone they picked up at a strip club on the way out of town? Why did she go so meekly (even willingly) along with the plan, and with the instructions on the paper? If she was so concerned about getting a finger up her ass, why did she say nothing when the narrator shoved his cock there?