Playing the Part

"Actually, I kind of am," Abby said wistfully. "I have no idea where my career might go after this movie, but a part of me wants nothing more than to find a great guy and spend the rest of my life with him."

"And the other part?" Lauren asked.

"I suppose it wants to ride the wave of fame and success as far as it can go. It just seems so...empty, you know?"

"I do," Lauren told her. "Just between us, I'd love nothing more than for Erik to ask me to marry him. Don't get me wrong. I love living with him, but I'd be ecstatic if he were to propose."

"I guess that's every girl's dream, huh?" Abby asked rhetorically. "Do you think we're wired to be this way or is it just millennia of social conditioning?"

"Beats me. And honestly? I don't really care. I just know I'd like to have a husband and maybe even children." She cut her eyes at Abby and said, "As long as I don't have to quit smoking."

"Get out of here!" Abby teased as they picked up their things and went back inside.

Lauren gave Abby her address and asked her to stop by around 6pm for a drink before dinner at around seven. "Okay, see you then—coach!"

They hugged goodbye and Abby sat there reflecting on the morning's events. Smoking hadn't been fun, but meeting Lauren had been. And truth be told, smoking hadn't been nearly as horrible as she'd imagined it might be. In fact, she was kind of looking forward to having a cigarette with Lauren that evening. She also couldn't wait to see just how a guy like Erik reacted to a woman like herself when she was smoking. This whole fetish thing was just incredibly weird and while at the same time fascinating to her, and she found herself very intrigued by it and wanted to learn more about it.

That evening, Abby found out exactly what Lauren meant. Erik was every bit as good looking as she said, just nowhere near as handsome as Dylan. His smoking fetish came up almost as soon as they sat down with a first glass of wine. "One of the things I'm sure you'll find out for yourself Abby, is how enjoyable smoking is when you're drinking." She reached for a cigarette and Erik lit it for her.

Abby saw the way he was staring at Lauren as she inhaled, exhaled, or tapped her ash. He was truly mesmerized by the entire process and she wanted to see how he'd react to her smoking a cigarette, as well. "I think I'd like to have one, too," Abby said with a smile.

Erik offered her the box and watched as her French-nail manicured fingers removed one. He lit hers too, and Abby noticed that all of his attention was now fixed on her as she took her first couple of modest drags.

"See what I mean?" Lauren said having noticed Erik hadn't so much as looked her way since Abby lit up.

"What?" Erik asked as though he had no idea what Lauren meant.

"You know what, honey," she said politely. "As much as you enjoy watching me, you can't take your eyes off of Abby. I told you she was beautiful, huh?"

Erik didn't answer as he watched Abby take the deepest drag she'd taken so far. "Oooh! I felt that tingle again!" she said as she exhaled a nice plume of smoke.

"Lucky you!" Lauren said taken a very deep drag of her own. "You seem to be enjoying yourself this time. Are you?"

Abby took another drag that wasn't quite as deep. As she exhaled she said, "I guess so. I've resigned myself to this...for the movie, of course...so I may as well at least try not to hate it, right?"

"You look incredible!" Erik told her having not heard a word Lauren said. She looked over at Abby, tilted her head toward her boyfriend and both of them just laughed. "What? What's so funny?" he asked cluelessly.

"Oh, nothing. It's just interesting to see how guys are when it comes to things they like."

Both of them laughed again after dinner when they set down with a second glass of wine. Lauren lit another cigarette and Erik said a little too enthusiastically, "How about you Abby? Would you like another cigarette?"

He was holding the box out to her and one of them was sticking out for her—just in case. "I don't mind if I do," she said taking it as she and Lauren enjoyed watching the little puppy dog.

After two modest inhales, Abby decided to see if she could get a repeat of the tingling sensation and took a very deep drag. She struggled to inhale it but did so without too much difficulty. As she exhaled it, she said, "Wow. I guess that's it for the nicotine buzz.That was the biggest hit I've ever taken and didn't get rewarded for it."

"That was SO hot!" Erik said. The girls looked over at him again then back at each other and a third round of laughter followed.

Lauren tapped her ash and said, "You know what's really funny about this fetish thing?"

"What's that?" Abby asked taking another fairly deep drag.

"You're FAR better looking than me, yet if..."

"Don't say that, Lauren," Abby cut in by saying. "You're very pretty."

"Well, thank you, but I'm nowhere near being in your league and we all know it. The point is that if you weren't smoking, Erik wouldn't even look at you when I was. But as long as you are smoking, he can't take his eyes off of you. Look! He's still staring!"

Erik finally caught on and said, "You know I think chicks who smoke are hot, babe. Come on, give me a break."

"I know and Abby's got to be the best-looking girl you've ever seen smoke, right?"

"Ain't that the truth," he said still staring at her.

"And Erik's probably watched every smoking video ever made—several times—and there are some really pretty girls in them."

Abby didn't have another cigarette that evening. Even so, the next morning her chest hurt. That's when she remembered what Lauren had told her. She also knew it would pass, but right now—it hurt and the last thing she wanted was a cigarette. "How am I ever gonna get through this?" she said to herself as she brushed her teeth. Every time she breathed in it hurt. The deeper she breathed, the more it hurt. "Smoking sucks!" she said out loud.

By noon, whatever discomfort she'd been feeling was gone and after having half a sandwich, she wanted a cup of coffee and decided to have a cigarette. She'd bummed a couple from Lauren knowing she'd need to buy her first pack later that day. For now though, she was all set. She went onto the little patio in back and lit her first cigarette of the day.

After the second puff, her chest hurt again, but for whatever reason, she didn't care. Abby wanted to keep smoking and for the first time, got almost down to the letters before it got to be too strong. The discomfort stayed with her the rest of the day, but she had another cigarette after dinner then headed out to the local 7-11 to buy her own first pack.

She was shocked when the man said, "$9.31." She handed him a $10 bill and put the change in cup. "You gotta be kidding me. Ten bucks a freakin' pack?" She was glad they were paying her the extra 25 grand. She'd need every bit of that just to pay for the new habit that would be killing her to boot!

The next morning, Abby took a deep breath while still laying in bed and it didn't hurt. She got up, put on a pot of coffee, went pee, and brushed her teeth. As she sat down with the cup of coffee she thought, "Why not?" and headed outside to smoke. She'd never smoked first thing in the morning and knowing she had to get better at this, couldn't think of a reason not to. She didn't get as far this time, stopping well before the letters, but it had tasted better than any cigarette she'd smoked before.

With that in mind, she had another again after lunch and another after dinner. On a whim, she went outside half an hour before going to bed and had one more.

For the next two weeks or so, she stuck to that same routine. She and Lauren got together several times and Abby had a cigarette (or two) with her each time.

But it was the morning of the third week that Abby noticed something different. After having smoked first thing in the morning, she had no intention of smoking again until after lunch. But two hours later she started feeling bad. She couldn't put a finger on it, but she felt kind of achy, like she was starting to get a headache or maybe a cold. She didn't give it any more thought until she got together with Lauren for lunch and told her how she was feeling.

"Oh! Someone is getting addicted to smoking," Lauren teased.

"Is that what that is?" Abby asked wanting to know whether or not Lauren was kidding.

"Most definitely," she assured her. "Go ahead and have a cigarette and you'll see."

Abby reached for her pack and lit one. After just the first drag—in fact, as soon as the first drag reached her lungs—the feeling went away. "Oh, my God! That's incredible!" she said as she exhaled.

"Told you!" Lauren teased again. "And it only gets worse—or better, depending on your perspective—from here."

They both took huge drags then Lauren asked, "Didn't you say you started smoking first thing in the morning a while back?"

"I did," Abby said exhaling another large plume of bluish-gray smoke.

"Remember me telling you that's a game changer? I don't know what it is but not long after that, your body wants a fix. From now on, you'll probably get that feeling every time after you smoke."

"How long will it be before I feel it?" Abby asked taking another long drag.

"That depends," Lauren said exhaling. "For me, it's about every 45 minutes or so. For you, it'll probably be about every two hours and it'll decrease from there."

"So I'm hooked on smoking already?" Abby asked but not with any sense of worry.

"No, not really. Not yet anyway. This is just the beginning. But if you keep smoking at least this much—and you will, trust me—you'll be addicted pretty soon. But you won't just keep smoking the number you are now." Lauren paused and said, "By the way, how many are you smoking a day now?"

"Um...maybe five?" Abby guessed. "Possibly six."

"Not bad," Lauren said with a smile. "I predict you'll be at ten before the movie starts shooting."

"Just a week ago I'd have said 'no way' but now I believe you," Abby told her taking the last drag down near the letters.

"When you want two in a row in the morning—like me—that's a good sign you're completely addicted. But when you start wanting your next cigarette when you're lighting one up—also like me—then you know you're hooked."

"And that doesn't bother you?" Abby asked.

"Uh-uh. Like I said, we'll all gonna die of something and I want to want enjoy as much as I can in the meantime and I definitely enjoy smoking."

"I'm starting to understand," Abby said. "I think I might even have one more!"

Lauren laughed and said, "Oh, girl. You're on your way to a very serious addiction."

"Just like you, right?" Abby said with a smile as she lit her next cigarette and inhaled deeply. "I'm actually starting to like these things," she said taking a second deep drag.

"Told you!" Lauren said again with a smile as she reached for another cigarette herself.

A week before filming began, Abby received a final copy of the script so she could get familiar with it and start memorizing lines for the first scenes.

As she began flipping through the pages, she realized several things. The first was how often she would be required to smoke. It really was a part of nearly every scene and that led to the second revelation. That fact no longer scared her and it was because of the third thing. Lauren had been exactly right. Abby was now smoking—and very much enjoying—about a half a pack of cigarettes a day.

The cravings were now hitting her about once every 90 minutes or so and Abby found herself almost looking forward to her next cigarette not long after finishing the last one. She couldn't remember whether or not Lauren had said it, but that first one of the day was well, as the Brits loved to say—brilliant! There was nothing like it with a cup of coffee although Abby had heard an after-sex cigarette was as good if not better than the first one in the morning.

Sex. That was something Abby had gone without longer than at anytime in her life she'd lost her virginity. And now with filming starting soon, there'd be even less time to find a decent guy let alone Dylan. Besides, now that she was smoking, that was basically a done deal as in—no deal.

Having given up feeling sorry for herself, Abby pulled a cigarette from the pack she'd opened that morning and lit one. She no longer went outside to smoke as it was just too much of a bother. She sat curled up on the sofa and filled her lungs with a very long, very deep drag as she began working on the first scene. Her character was in bad shape, strung out and desperate for help. She was smoking during the entire scene and Abby felt like she was finally more than ready.

A day prior to the start of filming, she wondered for the first time if she'd be required to smoke a different brand and had Howie check. "No, they don't give a rat's ass about that as long as you follow the script. How's the um, 'process' coming, by the way?" he'd wanted to know.

"You'll be glad to know your coach was the right person for the job, Howie. Everything is right on schedule," she told him as she finished a cigarette during the phone call.

Abby was understandably nervous when the cast and crew met for the first time. She was also a little upset she couldn't smoke in that room or any other unless it was a designated smoking area. She had at least gotten permission to smoke in her own trailer so between that and the number of scenes she'd be smoking in, any thoughts of suffering through long periods without one went away. That thought alone made her laugh as she thought back to where she'd been just six weeks ago when the very thought of smoking a cigarette disgusted her. Now just the thought of smoking a cigarette made her want to smoke another cigarette.

Abby's next surprise came when she was having a cigarette in the designated smoking area outside when Dylan walked by. "Hey, there!" he said cheerfully. "I didn't know you smoked. Is this new?"

Abby exhaled a long plume and said, "Yeah, I had to learn how for the part. I'd never even tried it until six weeks ago."

Dylan smiled at her and said, "Well, you certainly look very comfortable with it already." He turned to walk away then looked back and said, "Sexy even."

The next big surprise came during the first dress rehearsal. Dylan's character had to kiss Abby's after making an impassioned plea for her to quit using. "I'll always love you no matter what, but if you don't get help, there won't be any you to love!"

The director hollered, "Cut! Okay, Binaca for Abby."

A crew member came out to splash some of the strong breath drops in her mouth when Dylan said, "There's no need for that. Unless Abby wants it. Do you?"

She took a big hit from her mostly-smoked cigarette and said, "Not from my perspective. You're sure you're okay with kissing me tasting like an ashtray?"

"Very okay," he told her. "Trust me on that."

That first kiss had been nothing short of amazing. It seemed to Abby like Dylan was trying to somehow taste her rather than just kiss her. The director even complimented them on their passion and credibility. "That looked real, people! Keep it up, okay?"

And they did. Throughout those first days of rehearsing and filming, Abby smoked more than she had in the previous five days. Even so, she found herself enjoying the increase and from all she could tell, so was Dylan which made no sense to her. At least until he knocked on her trailer door the fourth day of shooting.

Abby was smoking a cigarette when she answered the door and said, "Oh, hi Dylan. Let me just put this out, okay?"

"No, don't do that," he told her. "I mean, not on my account."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked as she let him in.

"Very sure," he told her.

"Okay, well, please come in and have a seat. It's small but there's some room right over here."

Dylan took a seat and Abby said, "So what brings the leading man by at this time of night?"

In his slight southern drawl he said, "Well, to tell the truth—you."

"Me?" Abby asked taking a huge draw at the end of her cigarette. Like Lauren, this was now her favorite part. It was so full of flavor and she not only no longer dreaded it, she looked forward to it. She put it out and as she exhaled a monster stream of smoke said, "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Not at all," Dylan told her. "Just the opposite."

"I'm not following," Abby said.

"I um...I came by to um...ask you out, Abby. I know how busy we are around here, but sometimes we get a little time for lunch and I was hoping maybe we could have it together sometime soon."

Abby's heart was beating rapidly as she tried to make sure she'd heard him correctly. "You want to go out with me?"

"I do," he told her smiling that smile of his at her.

"Well, I'd like that, Dylan. I have to say I'm a little surprised. I never thought you even liked me let along enough to go out with me."

"Things change, you know. People change, too. Sometimes the changes are for the better and well, I really like the new you, Abby."

"The new me?" she asked. She reached for another cigarette and saw Dylan focus on her every movement.

"Uh-huh," he said as he watched her light it. She saw his eyes taking in the way she held the cigarette, the way her cheeks hollowed, and the way she snap inhaled and then exhaled. "You're um...really beautiful, Abby. I don't know why I didn't notice it before."

Abby watched his eyes following her cigarette and then again as she inhaled deeply. "He's just like Erik!" she thought to herself. "That's exactly the way he looked at me. Oh, my God! Dylan has the fetish, too!"

"Any idea why you just noticed me?" she teased without letting him know she knew.

His eyes kept track of what she was doing like a hawk following its prey. "Um, not really," he lied. "I guess maybe it's just working so closely with you." He smiled and said, "I'm sure kissing you all the time isn't hurting, either."

"I noticed," she said with a smile as she took another drag. "Is there anything else...anything...different about me that you maybe like now, Dylan? Something I didn't wear or say or maybe...do...before?" Abby took another huge drag and saw his eyes go from her hand to the cigarette to her exhale.

"I dunno. You're just so damn...sexy now. It's hard to say exactly."

Abby tapped her ash and decided to be more direct. "Does it have anything to do with me having started smoking by any chance? You seem to be rather interested in watching me smoke."

"Who? Me? Oh, no. That's kind of ridiculous, don't you think? Why would I want to watch you smoke? That sounds...crazy."

Dylan was fidgeting around now telling Abby she was onto something. "It's just that I recently learned some guys find girls who smoke to be very sexy. I even know one of them. He dates a friend of mine who started smoking to make him happy."

"She did?" he said, suddenly very interested.

"Uh-huh," she replied nonchalantly. "It's amazing what we girls will do for a boy we like enough."

She saw Dylan pull his legs together as he continued to squirm and was sure he had an erection. "Are you one of those guys, Dylan?" she asked as she took two long hits back to back.

"My God, that's sexy!" he told her. "I mean...you're sexy."

"It's okay if you are, Dylan. I'm actually hoping you are. It would make things a lot easier."

"How so?" he asked her.

"Well, then we could stop pretending you don't and we could just...you know...right here rather than keep playing this game we're playing."

"Jesus," he muttered.

"Something wrong, Dylan?" she asked finishing her cigarette.

"You have no idea how badly I want to come over there and kiss you," he told her.

"Well, the bed, such as it is, is that way," Abby said pointing to the small shelf with a mattress on it. She stood up, reached out for his hand and said, "I guess the only question is, do you want me to smoke for you while we make love?"