Please Understand Me

"Yes, Honey. They have a dance floor, but no live music on Monday nights. We can feed the juke box, though, if you want to dance."

Her eyes sparkled, it was nice to see that after all the tears she had shed since Saturday. "Let's go, sweetheart. Bye Sean, thanks for everything, and we'll see you in the morning at eight."

The club was nearly empty for two reasons. Both carriers were at sea and it was Monday. I was a bit disgusted at the number of single women at the bar and setting by twos at the tables. When I went to the bar to get drinks for Karen and me, I didn't see any wedding rings but there were several with light skin where the rings should be.

Oh well, not my problem. My problem is well on the way of being over. My mind kept going to the little cabin at the abandoned SecGru station. I was like a kid waiting for Christmas and his presents. Soon, it'll be over soon.

Chapter 6

We got home about 11:30, and Karen headed upstairs. I set the house alarm, checked the first floor for security and made sure all the lights were out except the small nightlight in the kitchen. The bedroom door (recently reinstalled) was closed but not locked. The room was semi-dark, with several lit candles around the room. The shower was running and the bathroom door was half closed so I barely heard Karen when she said, "Jake, I need you in here. Please come in the shower with me and look at my back. It is itching and I hope that means it is healing"

Did I take my clothes off and join her? You bet your sweet ass I did. I think I heard a few buttons hit the tiles in the process. I stepped in and stood behind her. This was the first time I'd seen her fully naked since last Saturday when I first looked at her damaged and striped back. It looked much better. No scabs and all the redness was gone. She said, "Honey, you know Jannine next door just had her baby a few months ago. I had her over for coffee when you were gone and asked her if she had any of the cream lotion that reduces stretch marks on a new mom's stomach. She said she did have some of that stuff and ran over to get a tube and gave it to me. I've been using it, and I think it is working. Would you mind rubbing some of it in my back? It is hard for me to reach."

I said, "Of course darling, why did you wait until now to ask?

"Oh Jake, I am just so ashamed of what I did and I didn't want to remind you of that terrible three days."

"Baby, I hope Sean will help you to realize none of this is your fault, and more importantly, that I don't blame you for anything." During this conversation I was soaping her back, front, and everywhere else.

"Jake, I want to believe that. But . . . . . "

"But what my darling wife?"

"Why don't you want to make love to me? Do you feel that I am dirty because of what Victor did to me?"

I didn't immediately answer, because I wanted to formulate my answer in the very best way for Karen's sake. Karen gave a little cry and bolted from the shower, grabbed her robe from the hook and threw herself across the bed, sobbing as if her heart would break. "Oh Jake, you do think I'm dirty!" I know you don't want to touch me. Are you going to leave me? If you do, I want to die."

OK asshole. How are you going to fix this? I'm supposed to be above average in IQ. Think quick. At that moment a flash of inspiration hit me. I rushed into the bedroom, grabbed Karen's ankles, being careful not to touch the rope burn areas, and flipped her over on her back. I threw open her robe and covered her smooth hairless pussy with my mouth. Hmm. I really like her smooth mound. This is one good thing to come out this mess. Karen gave a little gasp when my tongue licked from her clean little rosebud up to her hooded clit. A clit that wasn't going to remain hidden for long. I know that Karen is super sensitive all around her clit that when fully engorged is at least a quarter of an inch long. I gave it all my attention until she began her ascent to a massive orgasm. Her whole body shook and she was moaning with joy. The orgasmic plateau lasted nearly a full minute. When I sensed she was back on earth with me, I slowly moved up covering her torso and breast with my lips and tongue. When I arrived at her mouth, I let her taste herself on my lips. Her tears were gone and her face was glowing. I said, softly, "Do you still have that nutty idea in your pretty little head that I think you are dirty?"

"Oh NO, Jake. I think you really do love me. Thank you for convincing me in the very best way."

"My pleasure, Love. Now, I have a question."

"Anything baby," she said, but her expressive face showed she was bracing for something unpleasant, possibly about the sexual play with Victor.

I looked intensely into her beautiful blue eyes. "Do you want to do it missionary or doggie?"

She laughed hard, loud, and long. "Both! And then surprise me."

Wednesday morning we both looked at the alarm clock with hate. However, we said good morning with a deep, meaningful kiss. Morning breath be damned.

"OK Love. This is your last session with Sean. Are you ready?"

"More than ready Baby, I'm eager. I really think he is doing wonders for me.

I knew that she really didn't have a clear memory of what went on at yesterday's session, and because of Sean's post-hypnotic block, she was simply stating the correct and polite thing to say. I am truly looking forward to hearing Sean's final diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm confident he will probe Karen's past and current issues and come up the total truth of her condition.

I dropped Karen off close to Sean's office and, since she knew the way, I did not accompany her. I had something very important to do and not a lot of time to do it. Doug had given me Victor's address and now I was going to find out more about this bottom feeder.

Victor lived in a bad neighborhood in the area south of the Little Creek Amphibious base. I drove by his small 40s era clapboard house, and noted it was not in a good state of repair. The address was 2907 Mattson Ave. I parked around the corner on Dominion St. and walked down Dominion until I was behind 2907 Mattson. I slipped between two houses until I was in Victor's weed and trash strewn back yard. I looked through the one grimy window into the garage. The Porsche was not there. I stealthily circled the shack and had a clear view into every room. The house was not occupied. The back door was secured by a flimsy lock that easily yielded to a credit card slipped between the door and the jam. Standing in the kitchen I almost gagged. The odor of rotting food that emanated from the stacked dishes in the sink would gag a maggot. Empty pizza boxes littered the floor. I exited the revolting kitchen and went into what could have been the master bedroom. It was the larger of the two bedrooms in the four room house. A cramped and filthy living room was in the front of the house. As I stood in the larger bedroom my mind recreated what must have gone on in this house of horrors. There was the 21 thread sisal rope tied to the four corners of the king sized bed that filled the room, two chairs were positioned to give a good view of the bed. Closer examination of the padded headboard revealed dark brown splatters that could have been Karen's blood from the whippings that happened in this room. I made a resolution that, when this shit was over, I'm coming back and burn this nauseating hovel to the ground.

My goal here was to find the video that was made six months ago and was used to blackmail Karen. I brought a blank CD and a magic marker to mark and replace that video CD. That was a good idea, but when I found Victor's stash of homemade porn CDs under a loose board in the smaller bedroom I decided to take them all and let Victor guess who took them. There were about 15 CDs with different women's names. Thank God one of the CDs was labeled Karen Franklin. There was nothing else I need in this stomach-churning dump. I left thru the back door being sure to lock it.

The foray into Victor's den of iniquity only took a few hours, so I decided to go home and touch base with Doug and Brian. I called Brian first and told him things were looking up and I would be back to work next Monday. He said he was still standing by if I needed anything at all. I thanked him again and said I would call him if anything changed.

Next was my police detective buddy, Doug. I thanked him for the police surveillance of the last few days and said it would only be needed for a few more days. He asked if I wanted to come to the precinct for a face to face. I demurred, but said I would see him next week if all goes well and as planned.

I spent an hour or so on the computer with CheckMate finding out all I could about Wanda and Barry. I hadn't forgotten their part in this play. I have been concentrating on the sadistic evil bastard Victor McDonald, but when I'm finished with him,I will visit a proper ration of retribution on those despicable pieces of shit.

About 2PM, I received a call from Sean. He said he and Karen were finished, and he would like to have an hour or so with the two of us together. I told him I would be at his office in about 20 minutes.

At 2:30 I knocked on Sean's door. He opened the door and asked me in, gesturing to one of the two empty overstuffed chairs. Karen was in the third chair and her expressive face was beaming. I sat down and said, "Sean, if Karen's face is any indicator you have something good to tell me.

He replied, "I do indeed, and I am going to deviate from the normal practice of debriefing you out of Karen's hearing. I think she really needs to see and gauge your reaction to what I'm about to say. But first, I want you to read this: He handed me a single sheet and said "This is a copy of a page in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR). The DSM - IV is the ultimate authority for professional who diagnose mental disorders. Please read this carefully. The highlighted sentences are particularly germane.

=====================================================================

300.14 Dissociative Identity Disorder {formerly

Multiple Personality Disorder}

Diagnostic Features

The essential feature of Dissociative Identity Disorder is the presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states e.g. (Criterion A) that recurrently take control of behavior (Criterion B). There is an inability to recall important personal information, the extent of which is too great to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness (Criterion C). The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition (Criterion D). In children, the symptoms cannot be attributed to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

Dissociative Identity Disorder reflects a failure to integrate various aspects of identity, memory, and consciousness. Each personality state may be experienced as if it has a distinct personal history, self-image, and identity, including a separate name. Usually there is a primary identity that carries the individual's given name and is passive, dependent, guilty, and depressed. The alternate identities frequently have different names and characteristics that contrast with the primary identity (e.g., are hostile, controlling, and self-destructive). Particular identities may emerge in specific circumstances and may differ in reported age and gender, vocabulary, general knowledge, or predominant affect. Alternate identities are experienced as taking control in sequence, one at the expense of the other, and may deny knowledge of one another, be critical of one another, or appear to be in open conflict. Occasionally, one or more powerful identities allocate time to the others. Aggressive or hostile identities may at times interrupt activities or place the others in uncomfortable situations.

Associated descriptive features and mental disorders. Individuals with Dissociative Disorder frequently report having experienced severe physical and sexual abuse, during childhood. Controversy surrounds the accuracy of such reports, because childhood may be subject to distortion with some individuals with this disorder are highly hypnotizable and especially vulnerable to suggestive influences. However, reports by individuals with Dissociative Identity Disorder of a past history of sexual or physical abuse are often confirmed by objective evidence.. Individuals with Dissociative Identity Disorder manifest posttraumatic symptoms (e.g., nightmares, flashbacks, and startle responses) or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. Self-mutilation and suicidal and aggressive behavior may occur. Some individuals may have a repetitive pattern of relationships involving physical and sexual abuse. Certain identities may experience conversion symptoms (e.g., pseudoseizures) or have unusual abilities to control pain or other physical symptoms. Individuals with this disorder may also have symptoms that meet criteria for Mood, Substance-Related, Sexual, Eating, or Sleep Disorders. Self-mutilative behavior, impulsivity, and sudden and intense changes in relationships may warrant a concurrent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder.

"Jake, when Karen first told you she felt as if she were two people, she was spot on. She accurately self-diagnosed without any formal psychological training. Let me tell you something I don't think you know about your remarkable wife.

First, I've administered the Stanford-Binet IQ test. Karen tested over 140 IQ. That is the fourth standard deviation from the normal IQ of 100. In percent terms, your wife is in the top 0.3% of the general population. She is right up there with Stephen Hawkins and Albert Einstein."

Karen sat in her chair with her eyes downcast. The emotion on her face was acute embarrassment.

"Now Jake, with that brain power, why isn't Karen a world class physicist, or CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation? Why? Because along with that incredible brain, she has an equally large false sense of inferiority. She simply doesn't believe she can succeed in any endeavor. How has she spent her free time during your marriage? In a volunteer position at the local museum. What a colossal waste of a towering intellect.

Karen has told me she has never discussed her formative years with you. She was very resistive to divulging it to me, and I had to resort, with her permission, to deep hypnosis. She still does not have clear memories of her first 16 years. Only with powerful hypnotic techniques could I unlock those deeply suppressed memories.

I have her permission to tell you now. Jake, she loves you very much to agree to share these hidden memories with you. I hope you appreciate the anguish she has been going through these last six months in the clutches of that master sadist and especially these last few days when she was confessing everything, of what she knew, to you."

Karen's Story: as told by Dr. Erikson

Karen's father was killed in the Vietnam War when she was an infant. Her mother struggled to raise her and her older sister. About 1975 her mother remarried to another Vietnam vet. I can only speculate on this; but, I believe Karen's stepfather was suffering from extreme PTSD. He was criminally abusive to both Karen and her mother for years. For an unknown reason he did not sexually or physically abuse Karen's older sister, Darlene.

Not only did the stepfather sexual abuse Karen frequently and violently, he emotionally abused her by constantly telling her she was a slut and a whore. He called her slut or whore constantly and did not ever use her given name.

He denigrated any and everything she did; telling her she would never accomplish anything except to be the best cocksucker in the whore house. Fortunately, for Karen, the stepfather was killed while robbing a convenience store when she was 17. If he was still in the picture, it would have been doubtful that she could have attended college. As it was, her grades did not reflect her true intellect. Her major was art history, which is not an academically rigorous field.

The young Karen desperately wanted her step-father to love her, as improbable as that would be. She expressed that cry for love by doing anything and everything, that little girl could do to satisfy her step-father. The link between acceptance and sexual denigration was strongly forged early in her life.

It was this perfect storm of Karen's damaged ego and an egotistical psychopathic sadist that caused her to become a submissive to the dominating Victor. In a very real sense, Victor became Karen's abusive stepfather. The other part of this scenario was the defense mechanism created by Karen that was the multiple personality. This was the way an extreme submissive personality could interact in a deviant sexual way that would not harm the "good girl" personality. I concluded that fact from the memory blackouts that allowed the good Karen to be a dutiful, functional, and faithful wife, while the "bad Karen" was Victor's sex slave, absorbing vicious physical and sexual abuse. In effect Karen was a throwback to her role under her stepfather. It was the "good" Karen that called Victor a bastard for not having his cell phone on and it was the "bad" Karen that whispered to you Jake, "I must go with him."

Sean turned to me and said "Jake, stop beating yourself up because you did not discover Karen's secret life for six months. The unforeseen circumstance of your Chicago trip being canceled at the last minute and Karen's inability to phone Victor to head him off was propitious. I can project that if that phone call from your boss, cancelling your trip to Chicago, did not happen, there is no predicting how long Karen would be trapped in this horrific situation."

Quo Vadis. . . Where do we go from here? Well first and foremost Karen cannot be allowed to fall under Victor's spell again. The trauma could very well do permanent damage or even suicide.

Jake take this remarkable woman home and shower her with love and protect her with your life. You're a smart guy, figure out a way to use her superior intellect to make her and your lives productive and happy. My door is always open and I want you to come back every month so I can evaluate your progress and perhaps suggest things you can do to optimize her potential. For starters, I strongly suggest she enrolls as a full time graduate student here in ODU in a field of her choice, but not art history. Maybe astrophysics, or organic chemistry. Something her brain can push against. I dare say, it won't be too long before she eclipses her professors here and she will have transfer to MIT, Stanford, or CalTech.

Chapter 7

Apparently, Sean had removed the post-hypnotic block to her memory because she talked non-stop on the way home about what Dr. Erikson had shown her and why Victor had dominated her for six months. He told her why she was afraid to show her incredible intelligence and suggested what she could do to realize her full potential.

Jake was so proud of her. A lesser person could have just folded up and sunk further and further into this D/s morass of depravity, but not this highly intelligent, incredibly beautiful, faithful wife that has stood by his side for 15 years and will continue to be there for many decades in the future.

Wednesday evening was a pleasurable experience of discovery. Both Jake and Karen took delight in showing each other how strong and deep their love really was. No area was off limits. Each revealed to the other their secret fears, hidden fantasies, ambitions and dreams. It was a magical night.

Thursday morning Karen asked Jake if she could have her sister, Darlene, over to talk. Karen wanted to tell Darlene how their stepfather had foreclosed Karen's future and what effect he had had on her. Of course, Jake said Darlene was always welcome in their home.