All Comments on 'Power Plays Ch. 01'

Great story! Looking forward to reading the rest.

Never write a story in second person. it just doesn't work. Why not first? Please go and read up on punctuating dialogue and ellipses - three dots - are not pauses.

I agree with the previous comment - second-person omniscient does nothing for the reader. Also, the female is desperate and crying - how is this BDSM? Obviously NC content.

Good story, nice character development splendidly lacking any numerical descriptions of physical attributes, superior language skills, imaginative talent very rarely seen in this venue.