by Ice_Tease
Good story, nice character development splendidly lacking any numerical descriptions of physical attributes, superior language skills, imaginative talent very rarely seen in this venue.
I agree with the previous comment - second-person omniscient does nothing for the reader. Also, the female is desperate and crying - how is this BDSM? Obviously NC content.
Never write a story in second person. it just doesn't work. Why not first? Please go and read up on punctuating dialogue and ellipses - three dots - are not pauses.