All Comments on 'Prince Gyllen Ch. 01'

The only thing I would suggest when writing about another world is to not make references to Earth history as you did with the Romans: describing it as "a room with a few stone couches, dominated by a wide, open pool and steps of marble on two ends descending into the water" or some such would have sufficiently conveyed the scene.

You also used the references to the mid-east and city of brass (home of the efreeti), references to Arabian and RPG lore. Is it your idea that the world that Plantia resides on once had - or still has - access to Earth?

Yes, a few mistakes slipped through. A double "a" on page one and a dropped "a" in the second; here - "and trousers with a a gown worn over them," and here, "Man, you really are [a] helpless newbie." Yes, there are others: "Did he meet this young filly earlier and invited her to the villa?" would probably be clearer written as, "Did he meet this young filly earlier, inviting her to the villa?"

With all that said, however, I found the tale highly entertaining and look forward to reading more about Gyllen and Min. 5*

Thank you for the story :)

Waiting for more.

I like it and I hope there's a scene with the soldier next time

pretty good i wanna see where this goes

I look forward to seeing more of this universe, and to more 'adventures' with the prince. :D

A definite fairytale feeling, simple and charming. I like it ^_^

I really like these kind of stories can't wait to read the next one

Cute! Can’t wait to read the rest of the series!