Prom Ch. 15: Catharsis

"Oh! No! No, sweetie! I didn't mean-. Hey now. I was just-. I'm sorry. Hey, it's okay. Shhhh. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here now. Everything is going to be fine."

The girls gripped each other tightly for minutes without speaking as Rachel continued to sob away. Everything was pouring out of her and Rebecca fought her own tears and she felt the pain course through her friend's body. What Rachel had done to her had been awful and almost unforgivable, but the personal hell she'd been through as a result had likely been more penance than she'd deserved.

Rebecca winced at the number of guys who had been talking about her and her "friendliness" over the past few months. On instinct, she'd wanted to give all a piece of her mind. Rachel was a big girl and could take care of herself, but she should've been there to have her back. Maybe she had caused some of this. Her eyes opened as she thought of the little joke she'd made a few moments earlier that had set Rachel off. God, what had Rachel been up to lately?

She finally pulled back from her now sniffling friend and gave her a tearful smile. She spoke through a warm laugh.

"There she is! Jeez, Rach, that was some cry. So wait, you definitely still are that big whore I remember, huh?" She laughed again and gave Rachel a warm look. The comment was light and friendly but she was a bit concerned.

Rachel was still crying gently but she laughed loudly through her tears at Rebecca's words. Her frown returned though and she brought her lips together sadly and nodded her head in response. She began to cry louder again and she leaned her forehead into Rebecca's shoulder. She shuddered but found her voice through her sobs.

"Becca, you don't know. God, I've needed you. You just don't know. I don't even know anymore. Today has been-." She swallowed. "You wouldn't even believe what I've done. I don't even think I can say..."

Rebecca pushed her friend gently back up off her shoulder and wiped a tear from her face. She tilted her head and smiled at her brightly. "Tell me, Rach. It's okay. Believe me, you're not going to make this girl blush. Remember, I've been right there with you this whole year. I know what you do."

With a grin, Rebecca reached down and put her hands into her lap. She pretended to pick up something invisible and she raised her hands to Rachel's head and placed it on top of her. Both girls smiled at the familiar memory. Rebecca winked at her. "Here, you have the 'Tiara' once again." She gripped Rachel's hands tightly in her own.

"Tell me what happened. I'm here now."

The minutes flew by as Rachel let it all out. She trembled as the words passed through her lips, but she didn't cry. She told Rebecca everything. Rob, Jeff, Tyler. Jessie and Erica. Kevin. Jeff again. She told her how she'd fallen apart finally in her closet thinking about her and the times they'd had. The good, the bad, and the ugly. She didn't linger over the ugly parts, as both girls didn't need to be reminded of such things. But she brought them up because it was necessary before she told her about her darkest moments:

What she'd been doing with Matt.

She didn't know if Rebecca knew and she was scared to death that it would cause her to fly off the handle again. But if her catharsis was to be complete, everything needed to be put on the table.

Rebecca's stomach had twisted with guilt and empathy as Rachel regaled her with the sordid details of the morning as well as her freshest experience not ten minutes prior with Jeff. The idea that Rachel would excitedly hook up with multiple guys was not beyond the pale. Shit, Rebecca had been present for just such an occasion.

But when Rachel had vacantly described her final endeavor with Jeff in his car, it had made her skin crawl. She had been used. Sure, she had willingly gone along with everything. But just like the rumors she'd heard about involving boys at their school over the past several weeks, it just didn't seem right.

But none of it had prepared her for when Rachel dropped the bomb about Matt.

Rebecca had kept her face warm and firm as best she could up until then. But the moment Rachel told her that she'd been having sex with Matt regularly, she'd gasped and a tear had squeezed free from her eyelid. She'd felt the venomous rage beginning to boil inside her, and for a split second, she'd been beyond furious again and she'd felt that getting into Rachel's car had been a big mistake.

But the genuine, empty sadness in Rachel's normally sparkling eyes as she painfully let out every dirty detail softened her heart. Rachel had been through enough and she was taking a giant risk exposing herself the way she was. Rebecca knew that while Rachel had deserved it, on some level, she herself had been responsible for driving her friend to the depths she'd sunk to these days. Rachel had walked off her own plank, but when she had been desperately thrashing around looking for anyone to save her, Rebecca had simply tossed her an anchor.

Lost in her thoughts, she realized she was barely hearing Rachel's words anymore as she saw her friend holding out her phone towards her. She looked down at it slowly, not understanding, before taking it from Rachel's shaking fingers. As her eyes focused, she swallowed painfully, registering what was on the screen. It was the text message exchange between Rachel and Matt from a few minutes prior when Rachel had let him know she was willing to come by later and-.

Rebecca swallowed again. She knew what Rachel would be doing there. She didn't want to pry but she idly flicked her thumb up the screen and watched as the text message history between the two scrolled by. Her stomach flipped and she felt nauseous as the ugly evidence of their encounters over the past several weeks flashed before her eyes.

Matt texting her to come over and Rachel complying.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Rebecca brought a stunned, teary expression back up to meet Rachel's gaze. Slow tears dropped from her eyes as she watched Rachel's lower lip tremble. Rachel nodded gently as she chewed her lip. She spoke, her voice trembling in a low whisper.

"So you know now. You know what I've done. Becca, I don't know what to do. I don't even feel in control anymore. It's different now. It's not like it was. I don't even-." She wiped at a tear. "The boys that I've-. Matt??"

She scoffed vacantly and stared off out of the windshield. "This week I let him-." She shook her head and stopped as the terrible memory of what she'd let him talk her into a few days prior made her stomach turn. She buried the thought again. She couldn't tell Rebecca that...

"And you just saw. I told him I'd come by again tonight." Another tear ran from her cheek and landed onto her jeans. Her voice was desperate and barely audible.

"I'm so afraid that I can't stop."

Rebecca hadn't spoken since Rachel had begun her story but she was now keenly aware of the silence. As hard as it must've been for Rachel to tell her everything, it had been almost as devastating to hear. She looked at her friend's tear-soaked face, her eyes puffy and red. Even in this state, Rachel was beautiful. Her gaze fell down over Rachel's body as well and she winced as she caught a glimpse of her bra through the gap of her still partially-unbuttoned shirt. God, she was such a target when she was vulnerable.

She felt strong emotion flow through her like a sweeping current. The warm memories of her friend splashed over her as she recalled the good times again. The times that she had buried deep and forced herself to forget while her hatred had burned hot and consumed her. Rachel was suddenly again the girl who would do anything for her. And right now, Rebecca understood how much she was needed, too.

With a deep breath of her own, she looked deeply into her friend's eyes and firmly pushed the phone back into her palm. Rachel registered a look of slight shock at Rebecca's sudden invigoration and she glanced down at the phone in her hand and cocked her head, confused. But Rebecca simply nodded. She cleared her throat and spoke.

"You can stop. Right now. And you will." She clicked the phone back to Matt's texts and nodded. "You can do this, Rachel. Tell him. Tell him 'no more'."

Rachel stared back at her friend as her mouth hung open in a daze. She nodded weakly and brought the phone closer to her face. She began to push a button but her fingers fell away and suddenly her face dropped into a twisted expression. She sobbed again, for the first time since she had begun talking, and she shook her head rapidly to the sides. She spoke through tears.

"I can't! Becca, I can't. I can't do it. I don't know why I-." She let out a sudden tortured scream of frustration that startled both girls. "What is WRONG with me?? Why am I so fucked up?" She looked at her friend desperately. "Becca, please. Help me. I can't-. Can you do-?"

Rebecca recovered from her jolt and narrowed her eyebrows in anger. She cut her friend's whiny plea off with a forceful shout.

"No! No, Rachel. I can't do this for you." She lowered her voice and smiled, but her eyes remained firm. "Sweetie, this is something that only you can do. Otherwise, it will never get better. If you don't really mean it, he'll know. And he'll keep trying." She reached out and put a steadying hand on Rachel's shoulder and nodded again.

"Go ahead. You can do this. Trust me."

Rachel stared back and set her jaw with a deep sigh. She didn't believe her friend but she found herself pushing the talk button on her phone and vacantly bringing it to her ear. She flinched each time it rang and she prayed that Matt wouldn't pick up so that she could put the whole thing off. But her heart sank when she heard the phone click and his familiar, slick voice answer.

"S'up, baby? Are you already done? Coming by now?"

Rachel swallowed hard and stared nervously back at her friend. She didn't know if she could do it.

"Um, I-, actually, no. I'm, uh, I'm not going to make it tonight. I'm sorr-."

She had been starting to apologize when Rebecca flashed a glare at her and cut her off. She mouthed to Rachel. No! You don't fucking apologize. Tell. Him. You can do it.

Matt had begun to respond. "Wait, what? C'mon! What are you tired out from that lame ass prom you went to? C'mon. You can come by real quick. You know you don't have to stay long..."

Rebecca could hear Matt's words from her seat and she scoffed as the anger burned through her brain. What a piece of shit he was. It took all her power to not rip the phone out of Rachel's delicate grasp and tell him to get fucked. But she had to let Rachel do it. This was her battle and her battle alone.

Rachel felt herself trembling but Rebecca's angry expression gave her strength. She suddenly remembered the night that she and Matt had met and how she had fearlessly gotten in his face in defense of Rebecca. She scoffed.

Where had that girl gone? When was the last time she had stood up for anything, let alone herself? She was just so passive these days. So submissive and willing. Her fire had died and completely burned out. Or so she thought.

As she watched Rebecca's green eyes sparkle with fury, Rachel felt her own flame re-kindle for the first time in months. It wasn't the kind of temporary spark she had been getting from her numerous hookups lately as she'd been desperately filling her void. It was organic and pure. It was true power and it was hers. She felt her jaw clench and her scalp tingled with excitement. She flashed her eyes back at Rebecca, and for the first time, she smiled.

And then, she laughed.

It wasn't a small nervous laugh and it wasn't forced or contrived. It was loud and beautiful. It was a genuine expression of amusement. She laughed and kept laughing for several seconds as she took in Matt's words. You know you don't have to stay long. She fired back with a renewed confidence.

"I don't have to 'stay long'? That's so sweet of you. Always looking out for me, aren't you, Matt? I can just, like, suck your dick real quick and be home in time to watch TV?"

There was a brief pause on the line as Matt was temporarily taken back by her words and forceful tone. But he'd heard her make little stands before. They always ended the same way.

"Ummm, well, when you put it that way, I mean-." He laughed. "I was just trying to be nice abou-."

Rachel cut him off sharply. "Shut up. How about this? I am never...ever...coming over to your house again. Okay? You can call or text if you like, but to save both of us some time, I'd suggest you just skip ahead and lose my number. I will never hook up with you again. Whatever I've stupidly done or let you do to me these past few months, cherish the memories. Because while you might've had me, I know a secret, too."

She licked her lips and her eyes flashed.

"I know I'm the best you've ever had. I know nobody has ever made you cum harder than I have." She laughed. "You don't have to tell me. It's the truth and we both know it. And the next time you're with someone else, you'll be thinking of me. And you'll be wishing it was my lips, or my body."

"But the next time I'm with someone else?" She smirked. "I will have forgotten all about you." She exhaled deeply into the phone. "I was your best, and you were just a sad, unfortunate footnote for me. So get back to your little video game and think about that for a while. This? Whatever this was? It's over."

Rachel set her jaw again as her heart beat through her chest. She felt power surge through her as her ear was greeted with nothing but stunned silence. Everything she'd told him was true. That was the best part. And while of course he'd never admit that, it didn't matter in the slightest because they both knew.

She had finally taken back control. The control she'd ceded to him that first night and again many months later. The loss of control that had cost her almost everything these past few months. She had her spark back, and for the first time since her fight with Rebecca, she felt truly alive again.

Finally, Matt broke the silence with a nervous laugh as he struggled to stay cool and unfazed. His response was firm, but his tone betrayed his attempt at confidence. He was rattled, for the first time in a while.

"W-What the fuck was that all about? Look Rachel, I don't know what got up your ass, but if you're so pissed off, then why'd you even text me? You can never make up your mind. I'll let you cool off and when you're ready to stop being so fucking cray-."

Rachel casually pulled the phone away from her ear and ended the call in the middle of his stammering words. Her hands were trembling but her expression was calm as she placed her phone down on her lap and took a deep breath. She looked at Rebecca and a huge grin stretched across her face.

Rebecca no longer looked angry; she looked almost scared. Her mouth hung open in awe at the performance she'd just witnessed. It had been art. Rachel hadn't yelled or screamed or cursed. She'd barely raised her voice. Instead, she'd showed off her power in a completely different way. In a way that only she could.

She used her sexuality and the lust she brought out in others and turned it into her own weapon. Instead of running from what she'd done with him or using it as a crutch, she had flipped everything around. She'd owned it all and dangled it teasingly in front of his face before snatching it away for good. It was Rachel at her best and it had been awesome to witness. Rebecca smirked. Shit, she'd even been a little turned on!

The girls broke into raucous laughter as they both reveled in Rachel's devastating dismissal. It was the first time they had genuinely laughed together since the night at the party where everything had gone wrong. Rebecca excitedly rambled on about how impressive Rachel had just been. They laughed until their faces hurt and the tears seemed like ages ago.

If their pure joy could've been bottled, it would've lasted several lifetimes. The girls were back, and as far as Rachel was concerned, suddenly anything seemed possible. School. College. Field Hockey. She wanted to start everything right away. She wasn't even thinking when she started her car. She just wanted to drive somewhere. Somewhere fast! But as the engine turned on, she caught a glimpse of the clock on the dash and it registered in her brain for the first time.

It was 6:04.

Kevin!

Rachel cut the car back off and gave Rebecca a wild look. "Oh my God! I'm late! I was supposed to meet um-."

Rebecca scowled nervously and cut her off. "Rach? Meet who? Didn't we just talk about-?"

Rachel laughed and shook her head dismissively. "No, no! Not like that." She grinned. "I'm supposed to meet up with Kevin to grab dinner. That's why I'm here. Well, that and the other thing with Jeff." She swallowed and bit her lip. "Look, I'm sorry! God, Becca, this has been so wonderful! I feel like-. Ahhhh!!" She was glowing and racing through her words.

"I don't even know! I just feel so...me!"

She smiled warmly at Rebecca. Part of her never wanted to leave the car. She finally had again what she would've crawled through broken glass to get. She had her sister back. Her partner in crime. Her best friend. She almost couldn't believe it was real.

Rebecca smiled back and nodded. She knew Kevin. She'd met him a few times over the past year. Rachel spoke so fondly of him, and while she'd made it clear that they were only friends, Rebecca had always thought it a little odd that they'd never even hooked up once or twice. Kevin was pretty cute, if not a bit awkward. He was shy but when he got comfortable, he was funny and very likable.

Rebecca realized that he and Rachel were on different wavelengths socially and she got why Rachel wasn't really into him. But seeing how Rachel didn't exactly need to be "into" a guy to do what she did, it was still a little funny. If she had been in Rachel's shoes, she was sure that at least once something might have-. Whatever. She didn't think about it too often.

Rebecca realized that Rachel was now racing around and she wondered if the emotional roller-coaster she was obviously still riding had left her in a safe place. She leaned in with a concerned smile. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to come in with you?"

Rachel looked back at her friend joyfully, with just a hint of hesitation on her face. But she shook her head. "No. No, it's okay. I need to talk to him. And like you just showed me with 'he who will not be named' (she grinned and nodded back towards her phone), I need to do it myself."

Rachel knew she was saying the right things, but she was still conflicted about letting Rebecca out of her sight. She was suddenly terrified that maybe once they parted that this magical reunion would fade and Rebecca would feel differently the next day.

Rebecca nodded knowingly and she flashed a warm smile as she turned to open her door. Both girls stepped out of the car and approached each other silently. Each felt like they should say something but it seemed awkward all of a sudden. They'd just had such an emotional moment, but where would they take it from there? Rebecca finally smiled and leaned in with her arms open to give Rachel a hug.

"Hey. You're gonna be okay. This was, um, good. Really."

Rachel didn't want to let her go. Rebecca felt warm and safe and she smelled good. Familiar. She finally released her grip and swallowed a small lump in her throat as Rebecca smiled again and turned to walk back towards her car. Rachel stood frozen as she watched her walk away before suddenly her eyes shot open and she called out her name in a nervous yelp.