Radish Man

'I'm Ernie,' he introduced.

'Jackie,' I replied. I turned to Radish Man. 'I've realised I don't know your name.'

'Luke.'

Fifteen minutes passed in the blink of an eye. The Angels were back on in the adjoining room, and my friends had come looking for me, noticed I was talking to men, and had made a quick exit, but still Ernie continued to talk about the history of his craft, oblivious to the difficulty Luke and I were having holding back our laughter.

The Angels started the second song of their second session, and Luke finished his beer and asked us if we were going back in. It was getting hard to hear over the noise and Ernie kept asking us both questions.

'I think I should probably find my friends,' I admitted.

Luke nodded his head. 'Have a good evening.'

'I will,' I agreed. 'You too.'

The three of us went back into the room where the band was playing. I found my friends and we sang and danced and whatnot, but I couldn't help but keep trying to spot Luke and Ernie.

Near the end of the show, one of my friends nudged me.

'The old guy is staring at you again,' she said.

'Which old guy?' I asked. This was a relevant question at a concert in a local pub for a band that hit the apex of their success over thirty years ago.

'The one behind you and to the left, tall, old enough to be your father, and with the weird fat guy.'

'Oh, Luke,' I replied.

'You know him?'

'Kind of. He has a stall at a farmers market.'

'Ohhhhh.' She nodded her head. 'That explains it. He's been staring at you all evening. Tina said he bought you both a drink and you stayed behind to chat to him.'

'Well, my daughter speaks to him a lot,' I replied defensively. Why defensively, I wondered. Why did I feel like I needed to explain why I was talking to a man?

My girlfriend picked up on my tone. She gave my arm a squeeze.

'Don't settle for the first man that comes along,' she said. 'Find someone better than Vaughn, don't just find a replacement.'

The band started up before I could even think of a reply, let alone voice it. Truthfully, I wasn't looking for a replacement. I wasn't looking for anything at all. Luke had just provided some pleasant conversation. Vaughn is someone who gets quite uptight if things don't go precisely as he feels they should, and while this is good in some ways, general chit chat and laughing about nothing at all weren't things he'd engaged in. Luke's easy humour and goodwill had been a pleasant change from what I knew.

We stayed until the end of the show. The girls wanted to keep drinking, but I was tired, my feet hurt and I wanted to go and lie in my nice, comfy bed. I waved them goodbye as they headed into the gaming room and headed to the exit. There was a breath testing machine and I fished around in my purse for a few coins. I've learned through hard experience that my body processes alcohol at a snail's pace. I had a low range drink driving conviction in my mid-twenties and it caused me a bit of trouble with insurance and work, so I was keen to stay away from my car until I was confident I was under the limit.

According to the machine I was slightly over. I was annoyed because I just wanted to go home, but there was nothing to do but get a drink of water and wait. In half an hour I'd be right to drive home.

'Is everything okay?'

I turned around to see Luke and Ernie.

'I'm waiting for my blood alcohol level to drop,' I explained.

'Is it much over?' Ernie asked.

'No, just a little bit,' I replied. 'I'll be right in half an hour.'

At that precise moment a man holding a beer and laughing and talking with friends bumped into me. His beer ended up all over me, and in such a way that it looked like I'd wet myself. He apologised profusely but it didn't change the fact that I had too much booze in my system to drive and had a wet patch on my crotch.

A lot of people probably would have just thought 'fuck it, I'm close enough to the limit', got in their car and driven home, but I knew what the consequences would be if I were caught, and I didn't particularly want to kill anyone with shoddy driving, so I stared despondently at my clothing and realised I'd have to sit in my car in alcohol soaked clothes.

'We're staying here tonight,' Luke said, gesturing to himself and Ernie. 'Do you want to come and have a drink - of water - with us while you wait for your BAC to drop?'

I was stupidly grateful for the offer. 'Would you mind?'

'Of course not,' Ernie said. 'We'll go to his room, not mine, though. He's got a honeymoon suite.'

'How'd you score that?' I asked Luke.

'Ex-girlfriend does the accommodation bookings for this place,' Luke explained.

'Will she be wanting to join you in the honeymoon suite?' I asked.

Luke laughed. 'Nup. I asked her that - just giving her a friendly bit of stick - and she told me if I wanted a woman to share the room with me, I'd have to pick up.'

'Well, you are managing to bring back a slightly drunk, beer-covered woman,' I pointed out.

'You're the classiest slightly drunk, beer-covered woman I've seen in a while,' Luke said. 'Let's get you out of here.'

The motel suites were a short walk away. When we passed Ernie's room, he said he was going to go to bed and try to get some sleep, and off he went before I really understood what was happening.

As Luke and I continued towards his room, I began to wonder if going back to his suite was a wise idea. It was highly likely he was looking to score and that was why Ernie had decided to give us some space.

I decided to go with him to his room, perhaps to test him. Maybe I wanted to see if the easy-going persona he showed at the farmers markets was a front or if it was really him. Vaughn had hidden his true identity from me and I'd been fooled and hurt by what he had revealed, so who was Radish Man when the crowds were gone and there was nobody around? A pig? Someone who would force me to make an escape?

The honeymoon suite was slightly larger than an average motel room with a spa bath in the corner. It wasn't anything particularly special and if I'd been taken here for a honeymoon I'd probably have cried, but it was comfortable enough and Luke's attitude hadn't changed now that I was alone with him in a motel room. If anything, he gave me more space.

'Drink?' he asked. 'There's Coke, Diet Coke, and water in the mini bar.'

'Water would be great, thanks.'

Luke handed me a water and opened a whiskey and cola for himself. He gestured for me to sit on the little couch and he sat on the edge of the bed. The Akubra, the checkered shirt, and the weathered brown belt, what I'd called his 'farmers market getup', was in the room.

'Are you going to a market tomorrow?' I asked.

He shook his head. 'No, I went to one this morning. I need to keep most of the stuff I'm selling refrigerated. I managed to offload most of my stock, and I give the extra strawberries to a charity, and they're happy to take the other odds and ends, too.'

'Is it profitable?'

'Yes, actually, it is, but it could be more profitable if I was doing it full time. I bought a hobby farm not really knowing how much work was involved. I'm really not sure what the old owners were doing with the stock; they told me they were just giving it to friends and family, but they must've had a bloody big family if that was the case because after a month of living there I was drowning in produce. My sister, Ernie's wife, suggested I take it to the farmer's markets.' He tilted his head towards the Akubra. 'She's a marketing consultant. She told me how to dress.'

I opened my bottle of water. 'Your sister knows what she's talking about. Women take one look at you and melt. You fit the mental image of 'farmer'.'

'Parts interpreter,' he reminded me with a bemused grin. 'And I was born and raised in Hobart City, in a regular house on a regular sized block.'

'How'd you end up in Queensland?'

'Army.'

'Really? Why did you leave?'

'Got kicked out,' he admitted. 'A mate of mine and I were running a betting ring. My mate was from Toowoomba so he and I travelled out here together, found work, and that was it.'

'Does your friend still live out there?'

'No, he passed on a few years ago.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

Luke shrugged. 'Happens to all of us in the end. The sun still rises and sets, but there's a new set of eyes watching it each day.'

'I can't remember the last time I saw the sun rise or set.'

'You and your daughter are more than welcome to stay at the farm for a weekend if you want to change that,' he offered. 'Better minds than mine laid out the house and fields in such a way that watching the sun go up or down is magic.'

'If Melody went to the farm she'd never want to leave.'

Luke didn't respond. I didn't know if the offer he'd made had been genuine or not, and if so, if my response had offended him. He didn't seem offended. He sipped his drink, his long limbs spread out, and kicked off one shoe with the other.

There was a huge age difference between us. He was old enough to be my father and yet he was still attractive. He had all of his teeth, and all of them were straight and white with the exception of his right canine, which was at an angle. The single, crooked tooth gave personality to his smile and the heavy lines of his face shifted every time he spoke, laughed or showed any sort of emotion. I wouldn't want to know how many women he bedded each year. My guess would have been 'a lot'.

'Have you been in the spa?' I asked.

'Nah.' He laughed at the question. 'If you're interested, get in. I can't imagine it would be any worse than sitting in wet jeans.'

I glanced at the spa. It was a big tub, the kind that could hold a lot of water, and it was clean enough. There was a bottle of bubbles near the tap.

'Would you hop in with me?' I asked.

'Sure,' he agreed. 'It's kind of bizarre to be sitting in a spa by yourself, but if I were with someone else, I'm sure I'd enjoy it.'

'That's a male comment. A woman would definitely get in the spa by herself.' I went over and put the plug in. I turned on the taps, not knowing what the fuck I was doing. What precisely did I think I was going to be wearing in the spa? My mis-matching underwear? 'How hot do you like the water?'

Luke was highly amused. 'I don't give a damn about the temperature of the water, Jackie. Not if you're in the spa with me.'

I blushed and averted my gaze, but it was also nice to feel desired. Vaughn's new girlfriend was very pretty, and five years younger than me to boot. Every time I saw her I doubted whether or not a man would ever find me sexually attractive again, but it seemed Luke did.

As the water quickly filled the tub, I thought about how far I wanted to take this. On one hand, it was kind of weird to have casual sex with someone from whom my daughter was going to buy fruit from at least once a month. On the other, Luke was obviously something of a ladies man, so it was unlikely he would be creepy or awkward or clingy afterwards. It would just be sex. Two people fucking. Stress relief. A chance for me to hop back in the saddle, so to speak.

And Luke had passed my little test, hadn't he? He hadn't become creepy or anything since we'd arrived at his suite. I had the solid impression that if I hadn't given an indication I was interested in him, he wouldn't have.

The tub was half full when I started taking off my clothes. It was a relief to get out of my heels and wet jeans. I wasn't overly thrilled about taking my top off and revealing my black bra and white knickers but I figured he was old enough to have seen worse, and at any rate, soon after my top came off my underwear did, too.

Naked. I was now naked in front of a man who wasn't a doctor and who wasn't Vaughn for the first time in nearly two decades. I was still thin, and my breasts were small enough not have suffered too much gravity damage, but I didn't really feel attractive. I had the usual bumps and lumps and scars of a thirty-eight year old woman.

I scrambled into the spa to hide my body.

'How's the water?' Luke asked.

'Good,' I replied honestly. 'A bit hot, maybe. Are you getting in?'

'I will, in a second,' he agreed. 'Would you like me to swap the water you're drinking for something stronger?'

'Um... How long will it be until the pub closes? I'll need to go back and check my blood alcohol level.'

'You're welcome to spend the night.'

I stared at my legs through the water. Justice was in her kennel in the backyard. She was normally fed at seven in the morning but as long as I were home by eight, I knew she wouldn't bark or carry on.

Luke sat behind me, lifted my hair off the back of my neck, and kissed my spine. I tilted my face to the side and we stared at one another, trying to communicate wordlessly. I was scared. I wanted this but I was terrified.

'Yes?' he asked softly.

I nodded. 'Yes.'

'Is that a confident yes?'

'Very confident.' I chewed my lower lip. 'I'm worried about my body.'

Luke kissed me. 'Why?'

'Why?' I pulled back and stared at myself. 'Because I'm thirty-eight. I've had a kid.'

'I'm fifty-eight next month. Old enough to be your father.' He held my face in his hands and kissed me deeply, passionately. 'Is sex painful? Physically?'

'No, not normally. It's a body image issue. My husband cheated on me.'

'I was wondering what happened to him.'

'New woman,' I replied simply. 'Thirty-three. Beautiful. No kids. Earns more money than me.'

'You shouldn't compare yourself.'

'It's impossible not to.'

He traced a finger over the contours of my cheek. 'Watching you strip off and get into the water was the sexiest thing I've seen in years. I love how you massaged your boobs when you took your bra off.'

'Just moving them back into the right position,' I confessed.

'It still got my blood flowing, and my mind thinking about what you might do in a spa bath if you were alone.'

'Use the spa jets and a waterproof vibrator to get myself off,' I replied, going redder with each word.

'Mmm, now that's quite the mental image.' He crouched behind me and gently nibbled the skin on the back of my neck while his hands found their way down to my breasts. 'You feel incredibly good, Miss Jackie. I think I might just take my clothes off and join you.'

'Could you please bring me a drink?'

'Of course. Any preferences?'

I shook my head. 'No, so long as it's not beer, I'm not fussy.'

I heard him take off his clothes but I didn't dare turn around. I instead focussed on switching off the tap in the spa, adding bath gel and trying to figure out how to turn the jets on. I was still figuring it out when Luke stepped into the spa and handed me a can of bourbon and cola.

'Thanks,' I said, trying not to stare at him.

He was slim-hipped with a flat stomach, leanly muscled arms and legs and a solid erection. Not as big down below as Vaughn, but Vaughn was pushing the upper limits of normal, so I'd expected that. Honestly, dick size didn't bother me one way or the other. It was whether or not the penis in question got hard that concerned me, and Luke didn't seem to have any problems with that.

'Did you figure out how the spa turns on?' Luke asked.

'Yep, I think so. Do you want it on?'

'Sure.'

The spa rumbled to life with a roar. I hoped we didn't have neighbours on either side, because it was far from new and far from quiet.

Luke smiled and edged closer to me. I smiled back, feeling braver and more at ease. I sipped my drink and eyed him up curiously, taking a better, longer look at his body.

'It's one of the most fun things to do, isn't it?' Luke asked. 'Sex. It's fun. It should be fun.'

I pondered his question. If you stripped back the guilt, the shame, the repercussions and the possibilities of pregnancy and STD's then yes, sex had the potential to be fun. Good fun. Great fun. As a purely physical act, it satisfied every unspoken, primal urge I had.

'It's fun when you can do it without thinking about the following morning,' I replied thoughtfully. 'It's fun when you can convince yourself not to be embarrassed.'

'When you're not inhibited,' he agreed. 'When it's raw and ready.'

'But not rough. Not all the way through. I like being pounded, but I can't come if the sex is rough.' I sipped my bourbon. 'That must sound contradictory.'

'No, sex doesn't always make sense.'

I twisted myself around, rested one elbow on the edge of the tub, and drank some more bourbon. It was doing the trick, calming me right down.

'How about you sit on my lap?' Luke suggested.

'Okay,' I agreed.

I wasn't quite sure how he was expecting me to sit on him, but the spa was set out in such a way that it was easiest for me to straddle him, so this is what I did. His penis was now just centimetres away from my crotch.

We put our drinks on the edge of the spa and kissed. As we grew more comfortable we began to explore each other's bodies. Luke was confident and I was nervous but driven by an unbidden curiosity. There was no extra weight on him whatsoever but his skin and hair were rougher than Vaughn's, and he was taller and lankier. He tasted different, touched me differently, and seduced me differently.

My hands found his cock and I touched it, checking how hard he was. Luke exhaled heavily, as if I'd finally done precisely what he'd been wanting. And, when he spoke, he confirmed that was indeed the case.

'I've been wanting you to do that since you walked into the concert,' he confessed.

I grinned like an idiot and kissed him. I wanked him a little, and asked if it was only tonight that he'd thought about fucking me.

'Nope,' he admitted.

I kissed him again. Luke was more aggressive this time, pulling me closer and up off his knees. He asked me if I was on birth control, and when I shook my head, he gave me a rueful smile and requested I give him a minute.

He had condoms in his wallet. Watching him pull them out decimated any thoughts I might have had about this little escapade lasting longer than one night, which was both flattening and a relief. It's just sex I reminded myself. Just sex. Use him to get yourself off. Fuck him stupid. He's slept with plenty of women, so nothing you do will deter him.

I turned off the jets, stepped out of the spa and reached for a towel. I roughly dried myself, then walked over to Luke, unashamed of my figure.

Luke cocked an eyebrow. 'I'm starting to feel hunted.'

'You are. Can you get on the bed please? I'd like to ride you.'

Luke didn't bother about drying off. He went and laid on the bed, and I quickly joined him. We were soon a writhing mass of limbs, and I was growing increasingly hot and flustered. When he paused to pull the condom on, I saw my moment. I pinned him down on his back, threw a leg over, and impaled myself on him.

'Fuck,' I groaned. I bounced up and down. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck.'

I grabbed his hands and put them on my breasts. Luke was enthralled. He stared at me in wonder as I fucked him, and when I got sick of him staring at me, I shoved a nipple in his mouth. I held the back of his head so that he was glued to my chest, and continued to ride him.

My arousal mounted. I grew more and more urgent, and I pulled the tit from his mouth and gave him the other to suck on. I was grappling at him, slithering on him, desperately humping him as I searched for my climax. It's clitoral stimulation that makes me orgasm, and yet there is something unbeatably good about feeling a hard cock inside your cunt. Women around the world do the same as me; shoving dildos and fingers and foreign objects inside our pussies, trying to fill the void we feel when we're horny but don't have a man at the ready. Penetration is a wonderful thing.