RMC: Janet's Dilemma

I hadn't wanted to wake anyone when I was sneaking out, so didn't even take a robe. I was afraid someone might wake up just hearing me getting it and putting it on so all I was wearing was my nightie. I was about to give up and go back to the cabin when he finally showed up just after two. He sat down on the equipment box, so when I was standing in front of him we were at the same height. He just wrapped his arms around me and we began making out. This was really the first time we had any long term privacy before. We'd kissed and he'd felt me up through my bra and shirt, but we'd never had more than a few minutes alone so that was as far as he'd ever gone. This time I just had on my nightie and no bra so I figured he was going to try to feel me up and I was going to let him, but he never did. He just kept his arms around me, stroking my arms and back but that was all. He said he wasn't sure if I was going to show up or not but that he was glad I did and then said "Come on, let's go swimming." I protested that I didn't have my swimsuit with me, and he said "neither do I." I told him we didn't have any towels, and he said he'd brought some down earlier. He hopped off the equipment cabinet and went over to another cabinet and brought back two towels. I knew he had a t-shirt on, but hadn't realized that he was just wearing boxers until he shucked everything off and turned and walked over to the steps so he could get in without splashing loudly and turned around to me and said "Coming?"

I held back at first and watched as he just started swimming quietly across the pool. I finally decided to just go for it, slipped my nightie and panties off and joined him in the pool. When I swam up to him, he was standing on the bottom but I couldn't reach so I put my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around him to hold myself up and we began making out again. I'd figured before I'd left the cabin that if he wanted to feel me up I was going to let him, and I might even let him take my nightie off, but now we were naked kissing. He had a hard-on and it was poking against my bottom but he didn't try to do anything in the pool except that his hands were free and they were all over me. He cupped my bottom and lifted me a bit so he could kiss my breasts and suck my nipples. When he finally reached for my pussy I was on fire and it took practically no time at all for him to make me cum. He was the first guy that ever got me off.

"We got out of the pool and dried off before spreading the towels on the pool deck. I still hadn't decided I was going to let him fuck me. I figured I was just going to jack him off but we were kissing, he gradually moved on top of me and I guess you could say we got a little carried away."

I lay there thinking about what Lori had said. "That was your first time?"

"Yeah."

"It sounds like it was pretty good."

"It was OK. I came when he fingered me off, but not when we fucked. It was good though. He just didn't know what he was doing or any more about sex than I did, so it wasn't the best but it was OK for a first time. What about you?"

"My first time?" I answered. I thought back to that fumbling experience in the backseat of my boyfriend's car perhaps six months earlier. "It wasn't very good. We'd gone on a date and stopped in the parking lot of a park on the way home. We didn't have a lot of time, I had a curfew and dad was really strict, so we were kind of hurried. He didn't know what he was doing, I didn't know what I was doing, and between us, except that he was my first, it was anything except memorable."

"Oh that's too bad. Did he at least make you cum?"

I shook my head no.

"OK," Lori giggled naughtily, "so do you spit or swallow?"

"Spit or Swallow?" I repeated. "Spit or swallow what?" I didn't have a clue what she was referring to and, when I asked, it just cracked her up.

"When you suck a guy off? If he cums in your mouth, do you spit it out or swallow?

"I've never sucked a guy off." I answered truthfully.

"But you've had a cock in your mouth?"

I didn't answer, feeling somehow embarrassed that although I'd had a cock in my pussy a couple of times, I had never really done anything else. Even then I really hadn't known what to do with him, so besides just holding and squeezing a cock, I was totally inexperienced. "No. I... I've never really done anything like that to a guy."

"Oh Honey, you don't know what you're missing. When you're sucking a guy's cock, you're the most powerful woman in the world. Guys like to think they're so big and tough, but get a cock in your mouth and they're marshmallows." She giggled, "and just pull off and act like you're not going to finish them - and they'll beg and cry and tell you all about how they've got blue balls - anything to get you to finish them. You can pull off and let them shoot all over their belly or your chest, but if you don't, then when they cum in your mouth you have the option to either swallow - or spit it out."

~

"Lori was the first one to ever talk with me about sex that actually knew what she was talking about. My sister and I talked, but only a little bit about sex and we never really knew anything at that time and neither of us had any experience, at least not until after she went to college. Lori didn't hold anything back; really, I learned about sex from her. Eventually she asked me what I was using for birth control, but she didn't like my answer. I told her I'd only had sex a few times, and never used anything because I hadn't intended to do it those times, but it happened. I told her I hadn't wanted to go to the doctor as Mom would have found out because of the health insurance and prescription so I'd always held off until I needed it. She got really upset with me and said she thought I had more common sense than that. She said "don't you know all it takes is once? You already need it; you're playing Russian roulette with your life." I didn't understand why she was so upset at the time until later on she told me she hadn't been so lucky; she'd gotten pregnant but thankfully later miscarried as having a baby at that time would have ruined her life. Anyway, she came home from work early one day the following week and took me with her to the doctor and got me on the pill.

"Our evening routine pretty much ended every night lying in bed and talking about sex. Over a period of nights she told me all about her and her boyfriends, her and her husband, where they'd done it, how many times they'd done it in one session, how they'd done it in an elevator, how they'd gotten caught by her mom late one night doing it in the backyard, all of her early experiences. She said that at her senior prom, four couples rented a hotel room but there were only two king size beds and everyone ended up having sex at the same time with two couples on each bed. And, although I didn't have much to talk about, I told her all about the boyfriends I'd had, the two that I'd had sex with and the ones that I'd just played with a little.

"Those first few nights I eventually fell asleep during our talks. I'd been staying with Lori regularly for about two weeks when I woke up one night thinking I'd heard one of the kids cry. I realized that Lori wasn't in bed, and got up to check on what was happening. The bedroom door was shut so I opened it really quietly so as not to disturb the kids if one of them was up and she'd almost got them back down again. The whole house was dark; all the lights were out except that I could see moving light from the TV in the family room. The kid's doors were shut, so I just walked quietly down the hall to where I could look into the family room.

"I glanced at the TV, and stopped, shocked at what I was seeing. Tom and Lori were on the TV in a homemade movie. Lori was naked, rubbing Tom's cock between her tits while looking presumably into Tom's face and also right into the camera. Every time she went down and his cock extended up her tongue was coming out to lick him. If he stopped at the top of the stroke, she'd take him in her mouth. Tom was humming his approval with "Oh yeah, Baby" and "That's so hot," type of things, eventually begging her to take him in her mouth with a "suck me now." With a wicked little smile she released her breasts, lowered herself down and took his cock into her mouth without using her hands. I hadn't even seen Lori in the room when I suddenly heard a giggle and an "Uh huh," and looked over to the couch where I saw her holding the phone to her ear. She was totally naked; legs spread wide with her other hand between her legs masturbating. Despite the sound from the TV I realized I could also hear Lori talking quietly on the phone.

"I'd never seen a porn movie before, let alone a homemade one, and seeing someone in it that I knew made it that much more embarrassing and exciting at the same time. That the star of the show was also watching it and obviously getting herself off - I just couldn't look away. I don't remember all that she was saying to Tom on the phone, but it was obvious that he must have been masturbating on the other end of the line at the same time. Eventually I heard her say 'Oh My God, Tommy, I'm cumming!" Her bottom rose off the couch against her hands, her body convulsed and her hand stilled - there was no doubt that she'd had an orgasm. Even though I'd never seen one, or even had an orgasm myself before, I knew without a doubt what I was seeing. I was immediately embarrassed for Lori, and me for what I'd just seen, and backed slowly into the hallway. I went back to bed, quietly opening and closing the door so she didn't know I'd been up.

"I felt really guilty, not just for spying on Lori and her not knowing I was there, but because it had turned me on too, and I didn't know what to do about it. Everything kept popping back into my head; Tom's cock on screen with Lori's breasts wrapped around it, her sucking him and licking him, and then in real life the way she'd been pleasuring herself. I reached down and touched myself, and found that I was all wet too. Although I'd touched myself before and enjoyed the feeling, I'd never actually masturbated, at least not to orgasm. I knew that it felt good when I touched myself, especially my clit, but it was too much by itself, and somehow I'd never quite figured that if a cock went in me and felt good that perhaps my fingers could too. Now having seen Lori, I had just reached down and touched myself a little different than I ever had before when I heard the door open. Lori quietly came into the bedroom and I pretended to be asleep. I heard her open her nightstand and put something away and then quietly climbed into bed so as not to wake me.

"I just lay there, afraid she was going to realize that I was awake, until she fell asleep. My mind was racing over everything that I'd seen, but kept coming back to seeing Lori masturbate. I knew a little about masturbation, but had just never successfully done it myself. I'd never had an orgasm; and although I'd get wet when I touched myself or thought about sex, I don't think I'd ever gotten as wet, even with my boyfriends, as I was right then. When I knew she was asleep and dared to reach down again and touch myself, I'd cooled off, my desire eased for the moment. My panties were damp, but I just wasn't as aroused. I touched myself and it felt good but eventually I fell asleep.

"The next day I had to know what Lori had put away. I got the kids down for their mid-day nap and immediately went to snoop in Lori's drawer. I'd never tried to look at her private stuff before, but needn't have worried. She hadn't tried to hide anything; the VCR tape was in the top drawer and I didn't look any further. I didn't move anything except the tape as I was afraid that she might know I'd been in there so I just carefully took the tape out, noting beforehand how it was arranged in the drawer. I took it into the family room where Lori had been the night before and put it in.

"The tape had been totally rewound and at first I didn't think it was the right one as there was a recording of some documentary to begin with, but after a few seconds it got those squiggly lines as it changed from a TV recording to a camera feed and from that time on the rest of the tape was Lori and Tom. The tape appeared to be edited and spliced together from multiple sessions, probably in chronological order as for the first one Lori was obviously a few years younger than she was then, closer to my age, and the camera was pretty terrible, but by the last one it could have been taken the previous day and the pictures were much better quality so I guess they'd gotten a better camera. Some scenes were in their bed, some were in the family room. There was one scene where Lori was sucking Tom's cock while they were driving in the car during the day. There was a scene with a blanket on a mountainside under some trees, the camera apparently set on the hood of the car as it wasn't very close. There were some scenes of Lori walking naked through the woods, later they were both skinny dipping at some waterfall and pool with nobody else around. There was a scene taken in their bathroom, it had been shot in the mirror so it was of both of them together; another scene in the same family room I was in at the moment, a blanket spread in front of the fireplace with a Christmas tree off to one side and Lori wearing some sexy elf nightie. There were close-ups of Lori's pussy and Tom's cock and Tom's cock in Lori's pussy. They'd obviously been filming their sex sessions for a long, long time."

I was just lying there listening the whole time; she was telling her story and not expecting anything from me. Now when she paused, feeling like she'd reached the end of the story, I interjected with "A lot of people make their own personal sex tapes. It's kind of fun to see yourself."

"Rob and I never did," she answered wistfully, "I kind of wish we had now." She went silent; I realized she was thinking how now it would have been a memory of Rob in better times. "Did you and Debs ever...?

I nodded my head. "Yeah."

"Do you still watch them?"

"I haven't since she died."

"Oh." She didn't say anything for a moment and then picked up her tale again. "I watched their whole tape. At the end it got those squiggly lines when it went back to the documentary from off the TV or whatever it was. I rewound it and put the tape back where I'd found it, and immediately began to feel guilty again, just like I had the night before. I'd never seen anything like that before; and then to have found it and watched when she'd obviously put it away and I'd had to snoop to find it, I just knew I shouldn't have watched it.

"Who did the filming?" I asked.

She looked surprised for a moment before she answered. "Mostly Tom, I guess, although there had to have been several times that she was holding the camera while he was doing something to her. I don't know whether they had a tripod or what, but usually if it was hand held, Tom had it. There were a few times that Lori was obviously doing the filming, but most of the time it was him or a fixed position."

"And you watched the whole thing?"

"Yeah."

She didn't say anything for a moment or two so I prodded a little. "So? Is that it? Did you get yourself off or what?"

She shook her head no. "I'd never masturbated before, at least not completely. After I started watching the tape I touched myself and began playing with myself and I was just as wet as I had been the night before, but the kids woke up before I got myself off. I really didn't know yet what it took to get off. My mom... well, she thought sex was dirty so I'd never done anything except those few times with my boyfriends, and that had all been for them, it had never done anything for me."

"Did Lori ever find out you'd seen their tape?"

Her head nodded on my shoulder. "It was that very night. We were in bed talking and I told her."

~

"Lori," I paused, gathering the courage to tell her.

"What sweetie?" she answered looking over at me.

"I need to tell you something... Last night, I woke up and thought I heard one of the kids. You weren't here so I went out to see if everything was ok..."

"Oh, I see." With those little words she acknowledged that she understood exactly what had happened.

I decided it was best just to confess. "I thought I heard one of the kids cry and I came quietly so as not to disturb them..."

She was quiet for a moment. "And you saw me?"

"On the couch," I responded.

"Oh." She thought about it for a moment before saying, "You saw the video?"

"Uh huh."

"Hmm. I guess that secret sex tape isn't so secret anymore?" She laughed, letting me know she wasn't upset, or at least not very much.

"I guess not."

"Which part did you see?"

"Umm, he was... I mean you were...Um..,"

"It's OK Janet, you saw it; we made it. I'm not embarrassed and I know what's on the tape."

"Yeah. I saw where you were wrapping your boobs around his cock and licking him... and then you took him in your mouth."

"Oh yeah. That was several years ago, before kids. That was a weekend in Monterey. God that was fun." I could see her mulling over in her mind the night before. "That was just about... Were you watching when I came?"

I nodded.

"My goodness, I've been sleeping with a voyeur and here I've been worried about disturbing you."

"Disturbing me?" I repeated, "Disturbing me how?"

"You've been cramping my style, girlfriend!" She laughed. "Here I've been worried about taking care of myself around you."

"Taking care of yourself? What do you mean?"

"I mean masturbating, diddling my bean, taking care of business. Ever since you've been staying, what have we been talking about every night but sex? I get all worked up and I've been worried about disturbing you in bed when I take care of myself so I've been going out to the living room after you're asleep."

"Really?" I asked, shocked at the revelation. Not that she did it; we'd already established that, but that she'd done it more than once since I'd been there. "I mean, you've done that before? Other nights when I've stayed over?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

I slowly shook my head no. "But... I mean... don't you have sex with Tom?"

"All the time when he's here. Almost every day. But when he's not here, it doesn't mean that I don't get horny. And talking with you at night? Gees, if I didn't take care of myself I'd go crazy."

"Oh." She was just lying there looking at me while I digested what she'd said.

"Don't you masturbate?"

Her question caused an instantaneous feeling of heat in my face and chest as I blushed. I'd never had a heart to heart talk with anyone about sex before, and to admit that I'd touched myself was pure embarrassment. "I've touched myself," I answered without really saying yes or no."

But you've masturbated? Made yourself cum?"

"I guess. I mean, I do it for a while and it feels good..."

I just lay there thinking about what she'd said and Lori didn't say anything for a minute or so. "You've never had an orgasm?"

I shook my head no. "I don't think so," I whispered.

"If you don't know, then you haven't. If you had, you'd know." She paused, "How come?"

I shrugged my shoulder; "I don't know, I guess it's just sort of been drilled into me that sex is wrong; good girls don't and all that. I mean, I've touched myself and it feels good, but I always feel guilty about it and after a while, I just sort of get numb and it doesn't feel so good anymore."

She sighed. "I'm not surprised. I love your mother dearly, but frankly - let's face it, she's a prude. The way she talks it's a surprise you were ever born at all. Truthfully I never recommend not listening to your parents but, in this case, your mom is just flat wrong."

"That may be so, but it doesn't keep me from feeling guilty."