RMC: Janet's Dilemma

"And then there was me." She'd not been talking very rapidly, just slowly leading up to what was bothering her

"Yeah, and then there was you." She paused again, I just waited.

"Debs and I had talked quite a bit, I'd often see her during the week at the gym or just as we were coming and going. She was really the one that led me into thinking about sex with someone else; that although Rob was incapacitated, I wasn't. I told her that I couldn't do that, that I was truly in love with Rob, and she asked me what that had to do with sex? She told me how she'd grown up in an extremely conservative family; that sex and marriage were expected to be combined, but with you she'd discovered for herself that sex and love are two different things. She said that when you love someone, sex is just that much better, but the need for sex isn't related to love. It took me a while to understand it, but the longer I was doing without, the more I was craving the touch of a man.

"I've asked myself several times about the first time I found you skinny dipping and cleaning the pool naked. Was that really chance, or did I sort of plan it? Debs had told me you guys regularly swam naked, but I hadn't planned on seeing you there like that. I was really just bringing over some tea to talk, and then you were there and made no special mention of sex or being naked. I hadn't seen anyone else naked in years, and then... there you were.

"Rob had been telling me for quite some time that I needed a lover, but somehow I couldn't seem to click with anyone. I went to dinner with that one guy at the gym I told you about. He was always flirting, trying to get my attention, but I could tell he was a playboy, someone just looking for another notch on his belt so I never dated him again. When I told Rob about seeing you naked, and how it had excited me, he was the one that suggested we get together. I couldn't though; I still had that "Sex and Love" handicap in my mind.

'Hmmm." I hummed. "So, what happened? Do you think you love me?"

She rolled up onto her side, looking at me. "I will say yes, and no. I love Rob, he's my one and only, I guess the same way that Debs was for you. But, I also have a deep affection for you, but whether you call that "love" or not, it's different than with Rob. I love making love with you, the way you seem to know my body almost better than I do. I like being with you.

"You love making love with me, or you love having sex with me?"

She didn't answer immediately.

"I'm not sure," she finally answered. "You really turn me on; sex with you is almost as good as it was with Rob."

"Almost?" I needled, and then laughed. "When you're in love with someone, sex is definitely that much better. But sex is good in its own right. If it wasn't, nobody would ever masturbate."

"That day that I came to visit and found you swimming naked, it was like you turned on a light switch for me. I'd been ignoring my feelings, my desires, for over two years. Rob kept telling me I needed to figure out the new "us", and that he understood that I had physical needs that he couldn't fulfill anymore, but still - I had that "till death do us part" running through my mind continually. And then when I saw you naked, I realized that I did have urges and desires that I had been ignoring. I told Rob what had happened when I got home, and he picked up immediately that it was more than just seeing you naked, that I had been attracted to you. She giggled, "I guess it didn't hurt for him to hear me playing with my vibrator a little later also".

"He heard you?"

"Since his injury, he hears everything."

We laid there for a few more moments saying nothing before I brought up what she'd started with again. "So... you said you wanted to tell me about Bug?"

She didn't say anything, I just waited until she cleared her thoughts. "The whole time we've been married, I've never had a desire to be with a woman. When Rob suggested I find a boyfriend, a girlfriend never crossed my mind. Right up until I met Bug."

"She's definitely a sweetie isn't she? So - who made the first move, her or you?"

"It was pretty much mutual. She stopped at the house when she got here and we talked about what we were going to do with you, the timing and all that. Of course we've been talking on the phone for weeks now, so it wasn't like we hadn't gotten any chance to know each other a little. As she was leaving, heading for your house, she stopped and said "I know this is for Jim, but if you need me to touch you... or you touch me, I'm not averse to that." Of course I knew she's had girlfriends before, and I told her it had been a long time since I'd been with a woman but that I had some experience that way too. "

"But, right from the beginning I knew I was attracted to Bug. Obviously we've been talking on the phone and I kind of felt something between us, the way we just understood each other's thoughts, and the way everything fell in place. We were able to hold conversations without completing sentences - just the way Rob and I can, but we've been married for 12 years. And then when she rang the doorbell, and I answered it, I had all kinds of butterflies in my stomach doing flip-flops, just the way it happened with Rob and me on our first date." She stopped talking. I pulled her a bit closer, and she snuggled into my shoulder.

"And now you don't know what to do. You're married, and don't want to change that, but you've got a great attraction for another woman. And now you're wondering what to do about it." I paused and she didn't say anything.

"So this "never again?" part, is that because of what happened between you and that other couple?"

"Tommy and Lori?"

"Yeah, them. When you split up with them to go to college, it sounds like you had some real feelings? For one or both of them?"

"Both." She shifted her body away, propping herself on an elbow to look at me, her other hand playing with the hair on my chest. "When Lori and I started playing, I'd never been in love. And then as we did more and more together, I had these feelings for her. The way she touched me... And then she introduced me to Tommy. I'd never had good luck with sex and boys, and suddenly with Tommy it was just the opposite. I was getting Lori during the week, and when Tommy came home on the weekend, the sex was just that much better. I still had Lori, but she had as much pleasure at helping Tommy do me as she did having me to herself. But it didn't take much of Tommy and I realized no matter how much fun that Lori and I were having, no matter how good the sex was, I really enjoyed fucking with a cock that much more."

"And then when Tommy had me spend the weekend, and Lori's jealousy cropped up... When I left them I just told myself I'd never again get in a situation with a couple where I might come between them."

"So, are you saying that this is the same situation?"

"Wouldn't you?" She responded, a hint of questioning in her voice.

I thought about it before answering so as to not be flippant, but I knew what I was going to say. "Not at all."

"Really? Why is that?

"Tommy and Lori were married, Bug and Me - we're just lovers. I've got no thoughts that we're exclusive, or even that we're a couple. I've had the one true love of my life, and she's gone. I enjoy being with you, I enjoy being with Bug, and I've enjoyed the two of you together. But any reason for jealousy just isn't there."

She absorbed what I said for a while before responding. "So... If something special happened between Bug and me, you wouldn't be upset?"

"No. Definitely not. All I can be is happy for both of you." With a smile I added, "I suppose the only question for me is whether I'm still going to get an occasional booty call."

She giggled at that. "You mean, will I continue being your mistress?"

"You my mistress?" I repeated, a shocked sound to my voice, "I thought I was your Gigolo!"

Janet laughed, her hand squeezing my once again almost hard cock. "Bug and I are definitely on track, but there is something that I need that no matter how much we like each other she can't give me. I need something to fill me, at least occasionally."

"Well then, no problem. I'm happy as can be for you and Bug, and if either of you occasionally need to come visit, I'll be here."

"And if it's both of us?"

"Well then, I guess we'll need more than just one evening."