by JWTaylor36
But I'm glad I found it. Bravo on your first chapter.
Thanks so much, all, for your comments - FYI, Part 2 is up, Part 3 should be up very soon :)
If this was a first story then you def need to keep writing! Well done :)
Fantastic writing, great submission, I know you probably want constructive criticism to know where the flaws are... but this was really well done. I hope there will be a follow up. I look forward to reading your other work.
Peace and joy,
Shell
Rather than give you specific feedback on your writing, I'll give you the results. My cock is throbbing and hard, I am stroking as I am trying to write this, the images rolling through my head are awesome and I really need to get fucked right now. You really, really turn me on!
You really need to continue this story, or at least post more stories. Aside from a couple missed words here and there (accept for except) it was a great story.
WOULD LOVE TO FIND YOU RUNNING ON A TRAIL AND GOING HOME TO HAVE SOME HOT MAN SEX WITH A HOT MAN LIKE YOURSELF
this was very good for a first try.....hope to read more of you stories soon...
For your first try I think you really hit it out of the park...Keep it up (sic)
So hot!! Got me soooo hard and wanting to be him in that shower taking it. Very nice. Hope there's more to cum.