All Comments on 'Rutherford Consulting Ch. 01'

I assume there will be more chapters to the good start here.

Your writing is a little awkward. I checked your biography and found you are in Germany. Though your English is good, it is not up to native speaker standards. I suggest you find a native speaker of English to edit your writing before posting. That will make a big difference and may help you improve your English.

Thanks for the story.

Interesting story and I can see what you're trying to do... but the writing style is awkward, changing tenses in mid-paragraph often, and some phrasing is just too awkward to be feasible. For instance, it completely ruined the mood for me when I read: "She pulled out her tongue and began..." Really? She grabbed her tongue with her fingers and pulled it out? You really need an editor before you post.

This story seems to be extremely stilted with no flow.