All Comments on 'Sarah's Summer Heat'

There are many problems grammatically with your story but I will set them aside as I understand English is not your native language. I expect that with time your writing will greatly improve. I found your story interesting and original so please continue writing. Thank you.

This is one of the first stories that I did with hopes of it one day being published. Issue for me is grammar, was never good at grammar to start with and it seems I need to work on it.

P.S

English is my native Language but I am more flaunt in bad English.

Your sentences do not have any structure to them,you are using punctuation in all sorts of strange places, breaking the flow of the narrative.

Hope you will continue this story and if her womb is unprotected then maybe she has a baby already growing in her.

Not sure your old enough to be on here as your writing, compulation and punctuation is feerful just as an adolecents would be.

If you are of age then you really need tuition all over again !!

Sorry just one star from me !!

Please continue the story! Give them more sexual encounters for sure, and please include more description. Does his muscular chest have a bit of dark hair? Perhaps hair around his pecs and in the center of his chest? A treasure trail leading to impressive pubes? He is a football player and they can be sexy. You refer to his five o'clock shadow. Please write more!

Intriguingly, the grammar and punctuation of the comments criticizing yours, is much worse than yours. However, that doesn't mean yours doesn't need some work, it does. Proofread more carefully. If you aren't comfortable with your grammar, have someone edit the story and help you.

My bigger issues are with the lack of setup. I couldn't get into the story, because I never felt like I knew the characters. Backstory and character development take time, and take away from the sex, but in my personal opinion the separate a sex story from an erotic one.

All this said, don't let any of this discourage you from writing. The only way to get better is to keep doing it.

Enjoyed the story. Please continue. Six years of college & my English still sucks.

Family has been in America since 1756.

A lack of character development,

believable plot structure,

descriptive ability

and familiarity with basic rules of spelling and punctuation make for bad porn, as boring as it is confusing.

This sucked ass. Give up, Mr. Trump. Your hands will always be tiny.

was good until she took off her suit then it was too rushed

You need to proofread your own comment before dissing the writer.

Would like see things happen a little slower. But still pretty good.

Horrible grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure makes this unreadable.

You left us hanging,what comes next. Not bad for a start............ It was a good read thanks

Is Sarah e virgin?

Her brother is not.

Hope you have another chapter.

Tender love making

Great story. I have wanted to fuck my sister for years. She is now 55 and still hot.

I would fuck her in a heartbeat if I got the chance. She is kinda lacking in the tit department, but has a fine ass that looks great min a bathing suit. The last time

I got a peak at it her pussy was shaved.

a chapter 2

I won’t repeat what others have said, although true. She’s trying to sneak a feel, then he rubs his eyes and she doesn’t notice that? The door slams then you have to explain why. You over explain forplay, yet skip penetration and intercourse. Then studly bro claims virginity. Really? Football hero, washboard abs and the cheerleaders aren’t throwing their panties at him? Too much wrong with this one. You should start over and slow down.