All Comments on 'Season of the Wolf Pt. 03'

I was captured by the story enough to read the whole thing in one sitting. Please get an editor to show you how to construct a sentence using commas - probably half of this was sentence fragments, which meant I couldn't concentrate on the story because I was trying to figure out what ideas were supposed to be joined together. And for the love of Pete, stop putting a comma after "But." Nevertheless, I enjoyed the characters you created and the story.

I have read the entire thing in one go. You have done a great job!!!

I found this to be quite sad and depressing almost from the very beginning. Not that this is a criticism as I suspect this was your intent.

You are a very effective storyteller, tho, I'd have to take a deep breath before clicking on another of your novels. It wasn't a fun read, and I rarely look for what you delivered.

That said. Excellent job, and I hope you find a readership.

I was very saddened by the ending. I really felt for Han and thought Grace and Coyote were being pretty damn hard on him and his sacrifices for everyone else. Han had been played and duped by so many people and yet he was blamed for saving Grace by getting her out, while he was being thanked for getting Michael out which seemed like a double standard to me, and putting himself in the line of fire. Frankly as like able as Coyote was, by the end I didn't really like him very much. He got what he wanted and sneered at Han for giving it to him. Up until the very last paragraph I was convinced Grace would end up with Han once again.

You told a good story and I enjoyed this but I think this needed some stronger editing.

Yes, there were multiple sentence fragments; periods where there should have been comas. But there was also a great deal of repetition not only in phrasing but in the thoughts and ideas your characters expressed. For instance, the word "sure" was used far too often and used by every character. If you're going to write first person then each person has to have their own voice. Secondly, when you start a thought with "sure" it implies that the idea following is in response to what the reader might be thinking. "Sure, I could have used other words to explain my meaning but using that word just came naturally to me." Or, "Sure, there were times when some other word isn't have been better, but it didn't seem that big of a deal at the time."

You also repeated the phrase "I didn't ask for this..." Which was somewhat annoying because frankly no one asks for the shitty things that happen to them. Life isn't fair and no one ever promises it will be.

I did enjoy this novel. It had some parallels with Twighlight, but it didn't have the happy ending that I was expecting.

I hate your character Grace with a purple passion. She disgusts me. Completely vomit-worthy. I will also say that you writing all of this in first person present tense makes everything really passive. I fast forwarded, blurred and skimmed through most of the story because of it. If it was re-written in a different tense, I think might be better.....

I enjoyed the first two parts but the last part left me cold and very disappointed. I realize this played out the way you wanted but for me it was a complete abandonment of Han and misplaced desire to make Cayote the hero of the story. Neither Grace or Cayote gave him any credit for saving the pack and dis-honored him by their comments and actions. Had he let her stay she would have been the primary target of the vampires. I also really didn't like the concept of the hybrids, it made no sense to me. The editing issues are there but didn't make a lot of difference to me. You have talent, I just didn't like where you took this story.

Hi ,there . I can't be to hard on you it's not easy to write such a long story. there were some parts that seemed like you were repeating your self. however I did really like it. It would be such a shame if you don't write more of this story. I could see how Han and his son and daughter become friends after all this time. I tell people when they listen to me ,that you only can change that which you can control, theres so much that we can't control or fix ,as a man i'm a fixer, just ask my wife every time she has a problem i'm trying to fix it if i can. and of course that only creates more issues. and yet the point is,you are a good writer and I would like more of this story. if for no other reason i'm sure i'm not the only one that read your story from the 1st word to the last word. thank you