- Loving Wives
- Seated
- Page 2
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Elizabeth broke down sobbing,
"Please Robin come home, not to a house to our home, I am still Liz El your pumpkin, I will do anything you want just don't leave me, you have my heart in trust, I do not want it back, not now not ever. Please. I will quit my job, I will stay home I will only go out with you anything."
God how I loved this woman, I knew I could not be happy without her in my life, but could I be happy with her in that life. That is what I needed to discover.
"Elizabeth I would never ask you to become a prisoner in your own marriage, that would kill what you feel as fast as being with Brad would have. I am angry, hurt, fearful, and sad! I had wanted to share with you some good news, the contract I have been working on for so long have been signed. I have to travel for several weeks over the next few months to set in place my personnel. I needed to deal with you and Brad before I leave in the morning. I will use that time to think about us and whether there is an us; to save. What will come of our marriage is yet to be seen."
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 1 year agoI've known less than five men who shortened their wives' common names (El for Elizabeth, Di for Diane, etc.). It's just silly, but most of the MCs in these stories do that. I suspect that it's usually the writer just being lazy.
secretsalover 3 years agoThat was a pretty tough read for a straightforward scenario.
With the username, I can't help but feel I'm being trolled a bit.
Anonymousalmost 4 years agoHe talks to much...he should have served the divorce papers to her...that would have scared the crap out of her...then he should have made her craw...she new she was going to sleep with that guy.....LOL...........
Torgaualmost 4 years agoGive me a break: "I am a 34 year old ex- Special Forces computer nerd with a doctorate in Computer sciences." Special Forces computer nerd? Why do you military wannabes always invent trash such as the BS line above? Do you know anything about the US military? I think not.
Anonymousabout 5 years agoBadwriter was the perfect name choice for you. Horrible, horrible writing, you need to go back to school.
thecarolinadreameralmost 6 years agoYou’ve collected the usual gaggle of comments by those who didn’t share your idea of a story plot. A few commented that your story telling needed much improvement (at least that’s what I think they were trying to say) but even these neglected to spell out what you did wrong.
Personally, I think you have the making of a great story, BUT… You need a lot of work.
#1 Learn how to handle dialogue. All dialogue is enclosed in quotes and EVERY time a new character speaks you MUST start a new paragraph. BTW this makes for a much better story. Before I finished this comment I read another of your stories; you did a bit better with dialogue there, but still needs improvement.
#2 Try to make the characters believable. Hubby as superman will be taken with a grain of salt every time.
# 3 This is to other commenters—please name just one original plot, either here or on another site—in the last ten years. The world waits breathlessly.
Good luck with your writing. You have good stories within you—you just need to learn to tell them. cd
