by CinderLaw
Too many good writers don't have the courage to pen something that doesn't rely on oversized genitals for success. Very disappointing. Doesn't make it a bad story, but, could be better. With that said, if all the average cock length of all the male protagonists on Literotica would likely be about 9". Quite hilarious.
I love them you should write more novel/stories your characters are great and have so much depth
soooo funny. n chloe is something else. so cute. can you give mommy a baby, well see. no way. i bet that tom guy is someone from her past. it could be or hes just creepy.
*giggles*
Chloe: Jared?
Jared: Yes?
Chloe: Will you give mommy a baby?
Oh, I LOVE kids! =D
I loved The Chess Piece and I think I'm going to love Second Chance even more. I absolutely love Chloe, she is so hilarious. I can't wait for more chapters.
This is a cute story, and I really like Chloe. I suggest you work on the dialogue a bit. It's kind of clunky. Try more contractions, like "I'm" and "you're." People just don't talk as formally as you have them here (usually). But you nailed the little kid attitude!
I loved Jason and Laysea's story. It was so sad that Trista was killed and my heart hurt for Jared but I am glad that you are writing a story for him and giving him not only a woman that will make him happy but he will also get a daughter out of the deal!!! I look forward to the next chapter. Thank!!!!