Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 23

"Well, Ok," Janna shrugged. She looked to Lauren.

"What do you guys do for your Dom?" Alex asked her.

"Whatever he wants," Lauren said with a shrug.

"Well I know that, but when you argue, as that has been our current problem, how do you handle it?" Alex asked them. This would be a good place to start as they had been arguing a lot and she felt it was the root of their problems.

"Uh," Janna snickered in disbelief. "We don't argue with our Dom."

"Well, I mean when you have a disagreement, how do you solve it?" Alex laughed.

"Uh, he solves it," Kelly smiled at her curiously. "You argue with your Dom?"

"I mean, not like every day or anything," Alex defended as the three other subs looked to one another in shock. "You never argue?"

"No, argument means immediate consequence!" Lauren told her firmly. "You should never argue with you Dom!"

"What if you want to do something and he doesn't want you to do it?" Alex asked them.

"Then we don't do it," Janna shook her head. "A true submissive doesn't argue! How do you not get consequences if you argue with you Dom?"

"I don't know," Alex said looking to Kelly who shrugged.

"Baby," Kelly shook her head. "You are a sub, your Dom makes all decisions. You aren't supposed to argue. Communicate yes, but never argue. Once your Dom makes a decision that's it, you accept it. You're just supposed to trust he is doing the best thing for you! When you decided to be a submissive, you gave up that part of the relationship!"

"So I can't argue?" Alex asked them.

"Well," Janna smiled. "Each Dom is different, but not generally. I mean, like Kelly said, communication is very important, and while the Dom makes the final decision, we can speak with him but in the end, we trust he is going to do what's best!"

"I see," Alex frowned. "I'm a bit stubborn."

"Like how stubborn?" Lauren asked.

"He called me a mule once," Alex smiled. "I don't think it was a compliment."

"How?" Kelly laughed as she couldn't comprehend how a sub was allowed to argue. "I mean, Honey!"

"I know!" Alex frowned. That was a big difference. These girls didn't argue with their Dom? That is all she did, most dealing with the way he spoiled her too much, or doing what she felt she had to do. From the wall and her long days, to working on the south side, to her stupid car.

"What do you argue about? Sex? Consequences?" Kelly asked seeing the despondent look on Alex's face.

"No," Alex shook her head. "It's mostly about the way he spoils me, I want to make my way on my own, pay my own bills and stuff. Things like the way he tries to protect me, from my long days working on the wall to driving my car, to teaching kids in a dangerous neighborhood!"

"Why?" Lauren asked. "Why would you argue about bills?"

"I don't like handouts," Alex defended, her ire creeping up, causing her voice to sound defensive.

"Ok," Janna smiled. "I get that, but you also need to know that every Dom does something for us that is a reward."

"A reward?" Alex asked.

"Well, Jesus, I've never had to explain it before!" Janna laughed. She was finding that it was difficult to explain. "Look, Master John is like my fifth Dom. I've had some pretty shitty Doms. I mean, they are Doms in the terms that they call themselves Doms! In reality all they are, are wannabes who want is a personal slave."

"Isn't that what we are?" Lauren asked.

"Absolutely not!" Janna defended. "We are in relationships, not your traditional relationship, but it's a relationship nonetheless!"

"With any relationship," Kelly continued. "There is some give and take. How does Gavin reward you?"

"He is always buying me things," Alex told them. "Clothes, shoes, jewelry."

"No," Janna said with a shake of his head. "If he is like most good Doms, the clothing is not always one of the rewards. I mean it can be a reward, but not always. That is what he wants you to wear, so he buys them because he wants that worn." She explained.

"Exactly," Kelly agreed.

Alex nodded, that was something she remembered. He told her she couldn't wear anything he didn't approve. This made that possible because he bought it for her, she never had to question if it was approved, if he bought it.

"Tell us about your scenes," Lauren asked her.

"My scenes?" Alex asked her.

"Well, when you are playing, whether he ties you up or he uses things on you, stuff that takes if from the vanilla world to our world, that is sometimes called a scene, or a session," Janna explained.

"Oh," Alex nodded. "What do you want to know? Like what he does to me? Or what I do to him?"

"No," Kelly assured her that they didn't need details. "Dr. Steward is a fantastic Dom, we know by his reputation that he gives you what you need, but how does he act before and after?"

"Well after, he always spoils me," Alex shrugged.

"That is the reward," Janna pointed out. "See if you don't do something right, you won't get spoiled after, I mean if you disappoint him he won't encourage that behavior! A good Dom will communicate that you may have done something wrong, but it won't cause him to be angry, if he is a good Dom anyway, but it may keep him from spoiling you after."

"I see," Alex nodded. "With Gavin, he likes to massage me, and bathe me. Sometimes he pampers me with little things, like shaving my legs or rubbing lotion on me. It's always so loving."

"That's called after care," Janna told her with an approving smile. Janna had been in the life for the better part of twenty years so she had lots of knowledge and it looked like Alex needed it. "Some Doms do it, some don't. The good ones, do."

"Well, Gavin doesn't ever shirk that!" Alex told her. "He could be exhausted, but it still gets done!"

"And how do you feel when he does it?" Kelly asked with a smile.

"Loved," Alex said plainly.

"That's the emotional connection," Janna smiled nodding at Kelly. "Our lifestyle develops strong emotional connection!"

"Have you cried yet?" Lauren asked her.

"Only when we fight," Alex frowned.

"That still blows me away, that you fight!" Lauren pointed out shaking her head in disbelief.

"No, not when you fight. I have been in a scene and then right after, I cry!" Janna told her. Alex furrowed her brow in confusion.

"See the emotional side comes out," Kelly explained. "It could be happy tears or you may cry and not know why you are even crying! It's an emotional release. A good Dom will use all he has then to bring you down carefully from that." Alex nodded that she understood.

"You guys never talk back?" Alex asked disbelieving that she was the only one that did.

"No," they said in unison letting Alex know that what they said was the truth.

"How is that possible?" Alex asked them.

"Well, most Doms will break you if you do," Janna told her. "Some subs need broken, or even want to be broken, but again, that is up to the Dom. Do they want you broken? It sounds like Dr. Steward doesn't want you broken."

"If for some reason you have to change Doms," Lauren began in warning. "You had better make sure they don't mind being spoken back to! Otherwise, your life with be hellish!"

Alex nodded that she understood, but no, she was going to make sure she didn't have to change Doms!

"The difference in this life is the Dom," Janna told her. "If you get a good Dom, then this life is very rewarding, very satisfying. If you get a bad Dom, then Lauren is right, this life becomes very hard, very unfulfilling."

"I know I have an excellent Dom," Alex told them, and they all nodded their head enthusiastically.

"His reputation alone says that," Kelly smiled.

"Look, Sweetheart," Janna began. "Let's tell you what a good Dom should be, I mean I have had them all! A good Dom, a Dom in learning, and a downright shitty Dom!"

Alex nodded, like Gavin always told her, start with the basics and work your way from there.

"A good Dom, has extraordinary self-control, I mean it can be infuriating at times! You want to go faster, but he has the self-control to not go faster! To give you what you need, not what you want! That's what a good Dom does."

"Sometimes, what you need, is not what you want," Lauren said in follow up.

Alex nodded, Gavin had that in spades. Self-control, the man could control her body like a marionette, and then even though he pleased her with multiple orgasm, not get off himself. Giving her what she needed, not what he needed.

"Next," Kelly began. "After care, it's very important, sometimes more important than the scene! Good Doms do this without fail, sometimes it's what your Dom does, the pampering, but sometimes it's knowing when we just need to be snuggled."

"Oh God yes! Snuggling! Some Doms think that is what vanilla boyfriends do right before they go to sleep!" Lauren contributed with a laugh.

"Also, rules have meaning," Janna continued. "They aren't just something that they make up because that's what they want, and they rarely change, unless the sub communicates that she needs them changed. Which is why communication is so important, a shitty Dom doesn't care about what you think or feel. You are there for their enjoyment, not a mutual enjoyment."

"They think you are a prostitute," Lauren pointed out with a frown. "They can do what they want because they are the 'boss'!"

"Not so," Kelly added. "Good Doms know that it is about us, not us, as in, us the subs. But us, as in, the Dom and the sub. One unit, one deriving pleasure from the other. A full circle!"

"A good Dom, makes sure you both get what you want or need," Janna continued.

"A good Dom, takes your opinion into consideration, because it matters," Lauren told her.

"Oh, and communication!" Kelly pointed out as she picked up her wine glass. "Something that asshole Royce doesn't believe in!"

"Please," Janna growled. "That man is the picture of what a bad Dom is!"

"If Gavin is the post card for good Doms, then Royce is the antithesis!" Lauren growled.

"When you are in a scene," Kelly said trying to shake off the bad memory of her last Dom. "A good Dom will check on you."

"What do you mean?" Alex interrupted.

She didn't want to, as she was reveling in the facts they were giving. Granted none of it was really helping her, she knew some of what they were saying because Gavin was all the things they were saying. It was nice to see how the girls were bragging on Gavin in a way, without really bragging on Gavin directly as that would make him uncomfortable for all the praise.

She was concerned however that nothing was clicking to tell her what she needed to do, she just didn't know how she was going to know when she learned what he wanted her to learn.

"Has Dr. Steward ever stopped in the middle of a scene to ask how you are?" Janna asked.

"Of course! How would he know if I was enjoying it?" Alex asked.

"Trust me, he is not checking if you are enjoying it," Janna corrected. "He is checking your mental state."

"My mental state?" Alex asked.

"Honey," Janna smiled. "We are subs, we are trying to please him. If we are being pleased we don't need to tell him, our bodies tell him naturally!" Janna wiggled her eyebrows. Alex smiled as she knew what that meant.

"But because we are subs, we have an overwhelming need to please our Doms and we will suffer through something just for him," Kelly continued.

"A good Dom knows this, so if he starts asking questions it means he has recognized something in our body language that has alerted him to a possible problem, which brings on the questions. If he feels that we are in distress, a good Dom will end the session, immediately!" Janna told her.

"There is absolutely nothing more important, than communication," Kelly told her, driving home the point by bringing it up repeatedly. "Had Royce stopped to check on me that night, I wouldn't have spent time in a hospital! He never cared to check because he had no self-control, he didn't believe in communication and didn't care about me!"

"Alex, this lifestyle we have, it can be dangerous. We do some things that push our bodies to the limit. That push our emotions and our minds to the limit, which is why we have to be in constant communication," Janna said patting Kelly's hand as she knew talking about Royce always pissed her off.

"Oh," Lauren piped up trying to change the subject from Royce. "A good Dom is always humble!"

"Absolutely," Janna nodded. "Arrogance leads to assuming you know it all, nobody ever knows it all! You can be in this life for decades and you can have done a scene hundreds of times, but if your Dom is humble he doesn't take you, or what you are doing, for granted."

"Your safety is paramount," Kelly smiled shaking off her bad memories.

"Now," Janna smiled. "Not that we need to ask, but does Dr. Steward do those things?"

"Gavin does all of those things!" Alex admitted. This caused her three lunch mates to groan in tease. "Ok but none of that helps me! I know Gavin is a fantastic Dom! It's me that fucks things up!"

"Ok," Janna smiled taking her hand because she realized Alex was getting frustrated. "Now to be a good sub, there are some things that you must do, and one of those things is patience!"

"I'm fucked then!" Alex growled. "I have like, zero patience!"

"Oh my God, it's not the only thing! It is also something you can work on as you go! As are all the traits of a good submissive!" Kelly laughed taking her hand as well.

"Patience is the be ability to wait for things to come, being pushy is something that usually angers the Dom, it doesn't mean put your needs to the side, it means knowing the difference between what is truly important, and what can wait," Janna told her.

"Having an open mind, you have to be able to accept something the Dom wants and learn new things," Lauren told her. "The hard part of that is putting aside your fear to try those things! At least it is for me, something I'm still trying to learn, and I've been doing this for a couple of years. But that is also part of the trust we learn with our Master."

"Trust is critical, without it, there is no relationship. This goes beyond the scenes, beyond the sex. You have to trust not only your Dom, but yourself. To have the trust in yourself that you are making the right choices, both for yourself and your Dom," Janna smiled. She knew this was something she felt Alex may be lacking, no so much in her not trusting her Dom, but not trusting herself.

"Pride is also important, this isn't arrogance but more along the line of self-respect, you are important in the relationship, know that this isn't about degradation, this is about respect, both given and received," Kelly told her, the fire there in her eyes as she was specifically talking about Royce.

"We must never forget, we are subs, so service is very key, completing tasks set by our Doms. Now this can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. It basically means anything we do to please the Dom, from sucking his cock, to cooking for him," Kelly smiled with a wink at the sexual reference.

"Gavin does most of the cooking," Alex frowned as she thought about it.

"Again, all of this varies by Dom!" Lauren assured her. "Maybe it pleases him to make you dinner, part of his pampering, so the service for you may mean allowing him to cook dinner when you think you should be!"

Alex nodded, that she understood, Gavin loved doing the little things for her, spoiling her.

"Here is a biggie," Janna smiled with a slight cringe, "This is something I think you may be lacking, sorry, but its respect."

"I respect Gavin!" Alex defended immediately.

"It's more than words, Honey," Kelly agreed with Janna. "It's shown through your tone of voice, your manners...your attitude. It means during your arguments, which you should strive to avoid, you demeanor should always remain respectful."

Alex cringed as this hit her like a Mack truck! 'Go fuck yourself', immediately came to mind from the Expo. Hardly respectful!

"Manners," Lauren told her. "This was a big problem for me, saying please and thank you for sure, but it was the treating others around me with respect and courtesy. Remember we are a reflection on our Dom, if we aren't courteous, other Doms will get offended and that is an insult to your Dom."

"I used to treat Janna here like shit, but it was because I thought I was in competition with her! Mater John punished me when he caught me, telling me the entire time, how I treated others, should be the way he would want them treated," Lauren admitted softly with a twisted frown.

Alex thought back to her first trip shopping with Gavin, the way the shop clerk treated her initially. That was until Gavin said something to her, right there in the store. Then her demeanor and manners changed immediately. Did Gavin remind her of this rule?

"A very important trait of any sub is loyalty," Kelly smiled at Lauren for her admission. "This isn't necessarily about not cheating on your Dom, which goes without saying, but to follow your Dom's rules no matter what, whether he will find out or not!"

"For instance, one time, my Dom was punishing me, he grounded me from sexual gratification." Kelly leaned into Alex. "I couldn't cum! He did this for a week, told me ahead of time of the time frame, but then expressly forbid me to cum, that didn't stop him from playing with me, but I had to tell him before I came, so he could stop! Holy shit! Do you realize...just how hard that is to do?"

"Oh my God!" Alex gasped. "Please Lord don't let Gavin do that to me!" Alex laughed as she thought about how torturous that would be.

"Do you know how many times I was in the shower, my Master was gone, it would have been easy to rub one out!" Kelly giggled. "But he forbid it, so the loyalty was doing what was commanded. However difficult that may be, or how easy it would have been to get away with!"

"Fuck me," Alex whispered as she shook her head. And here she went and dared him to find a punishment worse than spankings! 'Is that the best you can do?' echoed in her ears from her temper tantrum in the bed causing her to cringe.

"Acceptance of who and what you are, knowing your limitations yet keeping in mind that your limitations will change as you grow, and knowing they will, whether you want them to or not," Janna said after a few minutes of just sipping their wine.

She was watching the young sub in front of her absorb all this knowledge, she could tell by Alex's facial tics what she was doing and what she wasn't. There was a lot she wasn't doing by the way she kept frowning.

"Something you predecessor had," Kelly smiled bringing up the subject carefully. She didn't know the relationship between Alex and Elizabeth so she wanted to tread carefully as to not bring up a bad subject. "Something I learned from her...grace. Not super important, but it's still something that needs to be said. Acting like a lady, appearing almost...I don't know...,"

"Regal?" Alex smiled thinking of Elizabeth.

"Exactly!" Kelly laughed as they both understood. "Just this whole demeanor of head held high, confident!" Kelly demonstrated as she sat at the table. It reminded Alex to sit up straight.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "Elizabeth always made me think of royalty, how she kept her chin slightly raised, the way she sat, the way she presented herself to the public."

"Yeah," Kelly nodded. "Which makes me wonder why she went with Royce over Gavin! When they were together they seemed so perfect! Grace for her, and gentlemanly for him. The way he opened doors, and the way he looked at people, like something from an old movie! I remember bumping into in, literally, at a party. Spilled my drink on him, I. Was. MORTIFIED!"