Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 45

Marylyn looked to Al.

"Did you take your medicine today?" she asked him shortly.

"Yes," he mocked.

"Don't make me get my broomstick and fly over there!" Marylyn teased. Al laughed as did the group.

"Well you could make it a lot easier on yourself if you moved back in," Al told her. Marylyn began to cry in earnest now. Al moved closer to her and pulled her tightly into his arms and Alex turned to Gavin who put an arm around her and gave her his handkerchief.

"I've missed you," Marylyn whispered.

"I love you," Al whispered back. "I want my wife back."

"I want to be your wife again," she said from his embrace. "If you'll have me."

"I never let you go," he told her. "We just needed to find each other again...and we have."

Sitting in the pew with the girls, Marylyn sat in between Al and Alex. Al with his arm draped around the back of the pew, touching her gently with his arm as he had it behind her. The mass started and Marylyn pulled out her Rosary and Alex looked to Gavin who smiled. He gave her a half shrug.

Alex carefully placed her hand over her mother's as it held the rosary and Marylyn took her other hand and enclosed it over Alex's. They watched Nora get called up with the other children that were getting their First Communion. Nora was last as she had been told by her priest.

When her time came, Father Jack came forward in his robes and stood before Nora giving her a wink and went through the sacrament with her, carefully placing the wafer on her tongue with a proud smile. While he couldn't see her, he could feel Livy and knew she was pleased.

***

Alex pulled out extra towels from the closet and went towards the room her parents were going to share. Walking in she found them kissing one another.

"Gross," Alex teased.

"Do we comment when you kiss Gavin?" Al asked her.

"Yeah, but you guys are my parents for Pete's sake...it was gross when I was a kid and it's still gross!" Alex said setting the towels down on the dresser. She gave them a wink and left them alone.

Walking down to Father Jack's room she tapped on the door.

"Come in," Jack called through the door.

"I just brought you some towels," Alex told him holding them up.

"Thank you," Jack smiled. "And thank you for letting me stay here tonight."

"You're welcome," Alex told him. She stood there thinking of how to put her question.

"Is my mother really going to your church?" Alex finally asked him.

"She is," Jack confirmed. "She is trying to find God...she is on the right path." Alex nodded.

"That in turn will lead her back to Al and righting that marriage," Jack pointed out. "Seems to have taken a big step today."

"It has," Alex agreed. "Thank you for that."

"I didn't have much to do with it," Jack shrugged. "God was the big player."

"Yes, but you initiated that meeting," Alex laughed.

"No," Jack disagreed. "That was Livy."

"What?" Alex asked him.

"For a while there," Jack said sitting down. "I was...seeing her even though I knew she was gone. Having conversations with her."

"Like hallucinations?" Alex asked him.

"I don't think so," Jack sighed.

"You mean ghosts?" Alex asked coming to sit next to him on the bed. He nodded. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I mean...does that mean she is in...,"

"She told me she was in a 'very good place'," Jack assured her. "If you believe in ghosts that is." He looked to see a perplexed look on Alex's face. "What?"

"Nothing," Alex shook her head. "Something Nora asked a while back. Do you see her anymore?"

"No," he smiled. "I wish I was, but no." Alex nodded and made for the door. "What did Nora ask?" He asked her stopping her.

"She asked Gavin if he believed in ghosts," Alex told him. "And there are times I hear her talking to someone...but I know she is alone."

"Kids play," Jack told her. Alex nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I thought too," Alex said turning at the doorway. "Then you told me you were seeing Livy."

"I was distraught," Jack pointed out.

"Did you believe it was her?" Alex asked. He nodded. "Maybe there are ghosts, maybe she is talking to Nora now." Alex shrugged and left him. Jack then closed his eyes and thought of his last encounter with Livy there in his bedroom in the rectory.

"I'm going to watch Nora for a while," she had told him that night.

Walking outside Jack found Nora and Kari saying goodbye to each other through the fence. Kari ran off to where her mother was waiting by the back door and Nora turned and smiled at Jack.

"Hey," he smiled. "I have something for you."

"What is it?" Nora asked running to him. He sat in the grass and she joined him.

He pulled out a rosary and handed it to her.

"I have one," she said looking at it.

"Yeah, I know, but this one," Jack waited until his breath was back as this was difficult. "This one belonged to your mother." Nora looked at it and her hand shook. "I think she would want you to have it. I have been using it myself for a while, but now I think she would want you to take care of it for her."

Nora nodded and began to cry. Jack picked her up and put her on his lap.

"Your mommy would be so proud of you today," Jack smiled kissing her head.

"I miss her," Nora whispered. "I love being with Aunt Alex, but...,"

"But you wish you were still with your mother?" Jack finished for her. Nora nodded. "There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think Alex or Gavin would be upset you feel that way, they love you and are going to take care of you, that's all that is important."

"Father?" Nora began slowly.

"Yes?"

"In my school some of the kids say if you kill yourself you can't go to Heaven," Nora whispered.

"In some cases that is true," Jack told her causing her bottom lip to tremble. "But that is not always the truth."

"What about my mom?" Nora asked him.

"What I'm about to tell you will be very difficult for you to understand, but I want you to hear it," Jack told her turning her chin to face him. "As your mother was...dying...she realized what a horrible mistake she had made! She couldn't believe that she had done what she did! She was so worried about you." Nora was crying now and Jack was as well so he pulled her tighter. "The Bible says, all we have to do is ask and truly be repentant and we are forgiven...your mother asked...she was repentant. I gave her Last Rites and she was forgiven." He held her chin.

"Now look at me and pay close attention," he commanded. Nora nodded. "Your mother is in Heaven, she is waiting for you there and watching over you always. Don't ever think otherwise." Nora wrapped her arms around Jack and they both shared a good cry.

***

Alex was finishing the dishes when she saw the light on in her studio. She wiped her hands off and went to shut it off. She found her mother in there surveying some of the artwork.

"Oh, sorry," Marylyn said standing up. "I hope you don't mind? Gavin showed me the room."

"No," Alex said crossing her arms across her chest. "I don't mind."

"What is this?" Marylyn asked pointing to an African sunset.

"Gavin and I went to Africa, remember?" Alex asked her. "I was up all night giving vaccinations, as I was headed to bed I saw the sun coming up, I couldn't pass it up so I painted it."

"It's beautiful," Marylyn smiled. "I love the way the colors wash into one another." Alex said nothing and didn't join her mother in the studio, instead standing in the doorway.

"Still don't know how to take me, huh?" Marylyn asked picking up another painting. This one was of a scene of villagers.

"I'm still...," Alex shrugged. "It's just...hell I don't know...shocking."

"I agree," Marylyn smiled. She walked over to her daughter. "Of all the people who have a right to hate me...you do. So I don't blame you if you do."

"I don't hate you," Alex said carefully. "I have never hated you...I...I just wanted your approval more than anything I guess."

"And I was a fool not to give it," Marylyn smiled. "So let me say this. I am happy you found a man who makes you smile, a man who loves you. I am happy that you continued with your art despite my awful attempts to keep you from it because you have a gift!" Marylyn moved closer to her daughter.

"In all the things I wish I could change," Marylyn whispered. "It's the relationship you and I don't have." Alex nodded as the tear leaked from the side of her eye. "I hope in time, we will have the relationship you wanted so long ago. I want it badly now that I know just how precious it is."

"Mom," Alex shook her head.

"No," Marylyn smiled. "I know it's a lot to process but know I am truly sorry for all the wrongs I have done to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope one day to receive it." Alex nodded and Marylyn put her arms around her daughter. Alex followed suit.

"I love you Alexandria, I wish I had been a better mother to you," Marylyn choked out. Marylyn kissed Alex's head and then stepped back. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Mom," Alex whispered as Marylyn walked past her.

***

Al carried Marylyn's bag into the house despite her protests. Walking into her home she found it comforting to be back. She looked around and found it exactly as she had left it. Al set the bags down and followed his wife from room to room. Walking into the living room she stopped. Things were not exactly as they were. In place of where the family photo once was proudly displayed, there sat a painting, one she remembered without a problem.

"Oh," Al frowned as he looked to where she was looking. There on the wall was Alex's recreation of Andromeda, painted from memory from the New York Metropolitan Museum. "I will flip that back around to the family portrait." Al told her as she touched the paint gently.

"No," Marylyn smiled. "Don't you dare cover up Alex's work! We will just have to update the family portrait and hang it somewhere else. But she stays right here." Marylyn smiled turning to him. Al nodded.

"She is quite good isn't she?" Marylyn asked going back to him.

"She is," Al agreed. "That comes from my side!" He teased.

"That I don't doubt," Marylyn smiled taking the jab.

***