Secrets

I just nodded while I tried to compose an answer. Given the alcohol I had consumed I was somewhat buzzed and my mind was spinning. Marni was ok with me dressing, and going out with me dressing. But was I ready to show EVERYONE a side of me I had hidden for so long???

I suspect the alcohol helped my decision making process, but I decided the reward of having a second chance with Marni exceeded the potential cost of coming out.

"Thank you for being honest with me. Thank you for giving us a chance again. I'm willing to come out of hiding," I answered. "Stay here. Give me a minute."

I hurried over to my purse--I giggled at the idea of my purse--and took my phone out, and walked back to Marni.

I opened the Facebook app and wrote a quick paragraph about my day, added that going out on Halloween dressed had been a desire of mine for a long time, and thanked Alexa and the team at Alexa's salon. I added five pictures of me, both from earlier in the day, and one of Alexa, Lori, Marni, and me. I tagged them all, and handed my phone to Marni. She read it quickly, and nodded.

"Are you really ready to do this?" she asked.

"Yes, but hit post before I change my mind" I said.

She did.

I then posted the same pictures to Instagram, added a few comments, and posted them too.

Marni then took my hand and said "come dance with me girlfriend" and we did.

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Half an hour and multiple dances later I dared to retrieve my phone again from my purse. A lot of people must not have a lot to do at 10:30 on a Saturday night because my posts on both media had a number of comments and likes, with a number of "wows" and "you look great" along with a couple of "what are you doing with Marni?" questions. I also noted that Marni had clicked "love" on all five pictures.

While I was reviewing Facebook my phone pinged with a text from my boss Sylvia.

[OMG, you look great. I would have never guessed it was you!].

Sylvia was around 40, married to a great guy with two great kids, and an excellent boss. She was one of my Facebook friends.

[Thanks! Been a fun day] I texted back.

I added a couple of other pictures I hadn't posted on Facebook and hit send. I then typed out; [I have to confess moonlighting at the salon] and added a picture of me at a monitor.

[LOL. You know Halloween is actually Monday, don't you???] Followed by a smiley face.

Sobering up quickly, I texted back, [What do you mean?], and hit send.

[You can come into work dressed if you like] came the quick reply.

[I'm not sure I can do that] I typed back.

[I would be disappointed if you didn't] followed by two frowny faces.

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

I think I sobered up in five seconds flat. I walked over to Marni and showed her my phone and the texts. I was hoping for sympathy.

I got hysterical laughter.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Never thought I'd have to take my boyfriend out dress shopping."

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I woke up around 10:30 the next morning a bit disoriented. I realized I was in Marni's bedroom and hazy bits and pieces of the night before hit my memory; climbing into the car when the bar closed, stumbling into Marni's bathroom, feeling sad when I used the make-up remover pads to remove the make-up, then stumbling to bed, and falling asleep dead to the world. I had been in no condition to drive, and my car was still at Alexa's salon anyway.

I managed to make it to the bathroom and I noticed I was still wearing the panties from the night before. I did my business and while washing my hands noticed a bottle of ibuprofen sitting on the counter, so I took two and washed them down with a handful of water from the tap.

Returning to the bedroom I noticed a t-shirt and some sweatpants on a chair, and as they appeared to be a bit larger than Marni would wear, I assumed they were Lori's and left for me to wear. I put them on and staggered to the kitchen where I found Marni, Alexa, and Lori drinking coffee and chatting.

Alexa spotted me first and said boisterously, "Good morning, Miss Sunshine!" I merely grunted.

Marni asked, "Want some breakfast?" and after nodding yes I found a cereal I liked, poured myself a bowl and gobbled it down, accompanied by a banana. I began to feel a bit more human. The three others talked, but I wasn't really listening.

I finally realized one of them--I think Lori--had asked me a question. I asked her to repeat it.

"So was yesterday everything you hoped for?" she asked.

"Yeah, it was great. A fabulous makeover, going out in public dressed, dancing in a sexy dress and heels--and finding out someone I have feelings for is giving me a second chance. Doesn't get much better than that."

My answer was rewarded with three smiling faces.

Eventually I learned the plans for the day, which the three had arranged the night before, without my knowledge. Lori was going to take me to the salon, to pick up my car and the boy and girl clothes I had also left there. After I drove home, I would have a chance to quickly shower and shave, because at one Alexa's sister Darcy and her friend Cindy--two of the four I had advised for their 401(k)s--were picking me up to do some shopping.

Girl shopping--because I was going to work Monday dressed. In for a nickel, in for a dime.

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Darcy and Cindy arrived a little past one. They had been at the Grove the night before and they dragged me out to the dance floor a few times to dance with them and their group. I asked Darcy if Alexa had roped her into taking me out today, but she quickly answered "No, we volunteered! We love shopping and this is our way of paying you back for all the advice you've given us! We're gonna have FUN!!!!"

I was dressed in a polo shirt and a pair of Dockers but the two quickly vetoed that. They said if I wanted to shop for a girl I needed to look like a girl, and that I needed to "own it." They sorted through the clothes that Lori had donated to me, chose the Minnie Mouse t-shirt and mom jeans, and shooed me into my bedroom to change into them--and panties and a bra. I retrieved the foam inserts and inserted them in the cups.

When I finished dressing, I walked back out and they liked the look. They asked me to get the wig and my black heels. Darcy shook out the wig, and placed it on my head, and used her fingers to brush it into place. She had me sit, and applied some light foundation and some lipstick. I put on my black pumps and walked into my bedroom for a look in the mirror. I looked decent. Darcy had me pose for a couple of pictures and we took a couple of selfies together. She texted them to Alexa, Lori, and Marni, and in return got a thumbs up.

When we were in the car Darcy told me the first stop was a Sephora at the mall. She had a friend who worked there and I was scheduled for a makeover at two. They explained the makeover would help me know what makeup I needed and the steps to do everything. They assured me their friend Cailee who was doing the makeover was very friendly and that I would love her.

I felt a bit exposed walking into the mall with the Sunday crowds but with the company of Darcy and Cindy no one seemed to notice anything unusual about me. I guessed strength in numbers. We walked into Sephora and were greeted at the door, and were told that Cailee would be right with us--and she was. Darcy and Cindy and Cailee said their hellos, and then introduced me as Dave. Once again I realized then I would need to think of a more suitable name.

Cailee walked me to a counter with a tall stool and had me sit. I briefly told Cailee about my day before and explained I had committed to going to work the next day dressed. She just smiled and clapped her hands and said "yes!" I also added that probably wasn't the last time I was going out dressed, so I needed to learn what I needed to wear and do, and that I had never done makeup before.

Cailee just smiled and said "let's get going then!"

Over the next hour she went through the steps, patiently explaining everything she did, and I borrowed a pen and paper and took notes. I was smiling internally that my final exam on this test was tomorrow morning, and I wanted a "passing" grade. First moisturizer, then a green primer to offset the reds in my complexion. She did a color match for my foundation, and then showed me how to apply it using a stipple brush. Then concealer, and brushed on powder to set it all.

Next eye primer and eye shadow and mascara, then two tone powders for my brows, lighter on the inside, darker on the outside. Multi-color blush on my cheeks, and then some choices for a lipstick color. We jointly decided on a dark red, and Cailee found a lip liner to match the color. After the lipstick, she let me have a look. Not as dramatic as yesterday's makeover, but although daunting, I thought I could possibly duplicate most of the look tomorrow--and then again in the future.

Cailee gathered all the products and as I was checking out Darcy and Cindy reappeared. They both loved my look. Cailee asked if I wanted to join Sephora's Beauty Club, and after an initial no, I decided why not? The tally was a bit higher than I expected, but I just tapped my Visa on the keypad and the bagful of makeup was mine.

The next stop was the Nordstrom at the mall. While Cailee had been working on me, Darcy and Cindy had been looking for things for me, and they had a dressing room set up with clothes for me to try on. There were slacks, jeans, tops, and a couple of dresses, all with a business woman vibe. They explained they wanted to see what types of clothes suited me, and once they had ideas for what style worked, our next stop would be a higher end consignment shop to actually buy things--unless I found something at Nordstrom I couldn't resist.

I spent about an hour trying on various combos of tops and bottoms, and learning my sizes. I would try something on, pop out of the dressing room, and get the reaction of Darcy and Cindy, and if around, the Nordstrom sales agent. If something didn't fit, one of them would chase down a different size. We whittled it down to a dark blue top with a white stretchy skirt, plus a Spanx bodysuit to keep everything in place.

Then I was marched over to the lingerie area, where, somewhat to my embarrassment, I had a bra fitting. However, the specialist doing the fitting kept it all low key, and suggested three bras for me to try on, and after trying them all with the foam inserts, I found a basic black bra that fit the best. Darcy and Cindy had more fun with me looking at panties, and asking which ones I liked (most of them), and ended up buying five pairs.

Next was Macy's for shoes, or more accurately, heels. The dynamic duo checked the close-out racks for my size, and brought them to me to try on. Most of the pairs were too small, but they found a pair of black Mary Jane's that were work suitable, so I added them to my growing wardrobe--along with two pairs of nude pantyhose. My outfit for work was now complete, and I walked out of the mall carrying my bags full of fun new stuff.

I thought I was done, but the girls had one more stop--the consignment shop. They said I would love it--and they were right. Besides, they convinced me I needed to buy at least one dress, because I'd be going out after work tomorrow for Halloween. I ended up finding one red floral dress suitable for work, and a short dress, as they said, to wear "clubbing" with them one night. We also found a purse that suited me. The staff at the shop told me to come back any time, and thought I looked great in the dresses.

We finally finished around six. We returned to the California Pizza Kitchen at the mall and I bought dinner to thank them. Sometime during the day being out in public dressed had suddenly felt natural, and I realized I could learn to like this. I paid for our dinner as a thank you to Darcy and Cindy and the waitress said "you ladies have a good night."

On the way to my house we stopped at a drugstore and bought some makeup wipes and nail polish remover. They dropped me off at my house--with a couple of farewell hugs--and I carried all my new toys into my house. I got a beer from my refrigerator and sat down to watch Sunday night football, postponing as long as I could to remove the makeup and return to the boy me. All I knew was that I was equally excited and anxious about going into work the next morning wearing my new blouse, skirt, and heels--and what reaction I would get.

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I usually tried to arrive at the office around 8:30 but I decided it would be safer to go in early, around 7:30, so I could walk to my office without too many of my co-workers noticing. I also knew it was going to take a lot longer than my normal routine, so I set the alarm for 5:15 AM and hoped to leave by 7:00.

The 5:15 alarm rudely awakened me. I had a tough time falling asleep, worried about the reaction of my co-workers, and fully exposing the secret I had held inside for so long. I did have a slight laugh when I realized I needed all the "beauty" sleep I could get, and got very little.

I shaved my face--twice--and then took a shower, shaving a few spots on my arms and legs. I had arranged all the makeup on the counter near the sink the night before, along with the notes I took. I went step-by-step, slowly, trying not to make mistakes. It took about an hour, but in the end I was OK with the results. Then dressing; pantyhose, squeezing into the Spanx, bra, forms, skirt, top, heels. I donned the wig, brushed it out, and took a look in the mirror, and then took a couple of pictures to later text to Darcy, Cindy, and Alexa. I hoped they would like the look; but I know I did.

It was then I realized I should have eaten breakfast first, because I didn't want to mess up my makeup. I also realized I was too nervous to eat breakfast anyway.

I loaded my purse--again, funny to think the words "my purse"--with lipstick, my house keys, wallet, and a few other things. I took a deep breath, walked to my car, and headed to work.

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I parked in the garage under our building at work around 7:30. As I was an hour earlier than usual, I was a lot closer to the elevators up to the building, so it would be a shorter walk than usual. I sat in my car for about a minute, giving myself a pep talk that it was Halloween and this would be fun. I also realized at this point I was "pot committed" as they say on all the poker TV shows, and needed to just do it. I opened the door, stepped out, rearranged my top and skirt, grabbed my purse from the passenger seat, and walked (strutted?) to the elevators, enjoying the clicking of my heels echoing off the concrete walls and ceiling of the underground garage, and saying a silent prayer there were no colleagues waiting at the elevator.

Arriving on my floor, I walked to our area and turned on the lights, so I knew I was first in. The unofficial rule was the first person in would make the first pot of coffee, but as I didn't drink coffee, I was spared that responsibility. I went to my office, logged in, and began my normal workday routine.

Around 8:00 I heard other voices, so I knew others in my area were shuffling in. About 10 minutes later, Wendy, one of my four staff, stuck her head into my office, asking "what are you doing in so...?" and stopped mid-sentence, looked at the name on my office, looked at me, and finished "holy crap! Who are you and what have you done with my boss?" while smiling from ear-to-ear. I just answered, "Happy Halloween."

She asked me to stand so I did, and she complimented me on my outfit and said I looked great, and that she never would have guessed it was me. I gave her a brief summary of my weekend, and showed her a few pictures, and said she could see a couple others on my Facebook page.

That opened the floodgates. The word spread quickly, and I had a subsequent stream of visitors to my office, both singles and groups. My co-workers had a combination of smiles, compliments, and questions (most often, "who did your makeup?" and I would answer "me and Sephora"). I wasn't used to being the center of attention, but I found I was enjoying it. A fair number of my co-workers pulled out their phones and took pictures or selfies with me.

Around 10 AM I received a phone call from Sylvia. I answered, and she said "I hear rumors we have a new employee." I laughed and just said, "Same employee, just a slightly different work uniform." She said she was busy but could I come to her office at 10:30, because she wanted to meet the "new employee."

Sylvia's office was one floor up so that meant walking through the office to the elevators and then to her office upstairs. I assumed at that point most everyone knew, so I just owned it. I crossed paths with a few who hadn't heard, but they were all good natured. I knew Sylvia could have come to my office, but I'm sure she wanted to tease me a bit and make me walk through the office.

I stuck my head around the door, made sure she wasn't on the phone, and then stepped into the doorway and said, "ta dah"! Sylvia just laughed and said, "Look at you! You look great! And your legs are to die for!" and then asked me to turn around, and so I did. She then told me to take a seat, and so I did, trying to be as ladylike as possible.

I gave her the 30,000 foot summary of my weekend, confirmed that Marni and I were going to start dating again, and she merely said "good for you." She then added, when she texted me about coming in dressed; she never thought I would do it, but she was happy I had done so. I told her I was apprehensive, but I was also happy I had carried through. Besides, I just teased her, "Rule #1: Make the boss lady happy." She laughed.

I then added about being the kid in grade school about being envious of the boys who dressed as girls for Halloween, and it was finally my turn. I also said although I liked to dress, I wasn't interested in doing anything more than that, leaving the rest unsaid.

Sylvia then turned more serious. "We're a progressive workplace. We're proud of that. We want to 'talk the talk' and 'walk the walk'. We attract better workers that way." She then asked "whether I planned to come to work dressed again"? I said, no, I hadn't considered it, that this was only for Halloween.

She then asked, "Be honest, would you like coming to work dressed again occasionally?"

I answered, "I'd be nervous, but yes."

"OK. Give me a second." She picked up the phone, and called up HR. I heard her half of the conversation.

"Hey Judy, it's Sylvia. I've got an employee who needs a second ID badge. Can I send her down and get her photo taken for the new ID?" I saw Sylvia nodding and said "I'll send her down in a few minutes." She hung up and looked at me.

"Like I said, we talk the talk and walk the walk. We like happy employees. They tend to stay with us longer, and that's good for us. You would be a great example demonstrating how our actions are consistent with our company policies. It's a win-win; good for us, good for you. I'd also like to add you to our diversity committee, to add your perspective. Are you OK with all of this?"

I was stunned with what I was hearing, but just nodded yes.

"It's set then. Head down to HR, ask for Judy, and they can get your picture for your second ID tag. Do you have another name you want to use?" Sylvia asked.