All Comments on 'Selina's First Time Shared Ch. 01'

Nothing new here, same ol'e, same ol'e. Sentence structure is terrible. Many run-on sentences that should have been broken up into 2 or 3 instead of 1.

All in all, a pretty poor effort. 3*s is the best I can do.

So this guys get's his sisters husband to cheat and betray his own sister. That's the bad thing about these cuck stories. The people in them are too depraved and it's all about getting off and being a pervert so all morals and principals go out the window. The bottom line is this guy just fucked over his SISTER! Dude you lied to and betrayed your sister. Seriously....your sister!?!?

" I am married to a beautiful woman of 15 years"

That way of saying it usually means someone who is 15 years old, not someone who has been married for 15 years.

Please find an editor fluent in English if you insist on writing in it.

Yeah, that was my immediate thought. At no point was it established that his sister was into sharing. Even if this comes out in a later chapter, too little, too late. He fucked over his sister, plain and simply.

Yep, your story had all the shortcomings mentioned, but I enjoyed it anyway. There is one constructive criticism I have to offer. Stick to one viewpoint; don't write 1st person (I did thus etc.) and then let your "I" know what another person feels without that person telling him. For that, you must write 3rd person unlimited view point. AKA the God viewpoint. Then your character can know everything about anybody.

Good luck with your writing.

Try and concentrate on making the best big mac you can.

Can't really add anything to the existing criticism. Why did you write this? About as erotic as watching paint dry.

What happened to HIS wife after the salads?

Despite the criticism still an enjoyable read. Not all people who share their experiences are good writers. Keep sharing and do the best that you can. Use some of the volunteer writers to help proof your work. Now your challenge is to get your sister involved. The next taboo. Good luck and share your other encounters.

Only a cuck could enjoy it as much as his whore did.