All Comments on 'Sex with the Ex & His GF'

Sometimes just one word. The story would be about half as long if you knew how to write.

I did like the concept of the story. Writing from the ex's perspective sounded promissing.

However, your story should have undergone a spell check and a tough read in general. The many typos, punctuation and word order errors are a bit annoying, I'm afraid.

Also, as a reader, I'm a little disappointed by the lack of content. Maybe it's just me, but I would've liked a bit more than just the build-up.

Try and pay attention to these things next time and your story should be worth reading!

Just a question: Is there any wife in this story? I don't think so...So why this category? 2*

A very succinct illustration of why so many marriages fail, including this one. Immature self-centered frivolous people, who stopped growing when they reached age 15. Did anyone else find it curious, and telling, that we don't even know the sex of their child? With parents this empty, he/she is essentially an orphan. And will probably grow up to be just like them. What a depressing story.

...conclusion. The value of a piece like this, is that it explores the dynamic of colossally self-indulgent people. Your presentation would greatly improve with editorial effort to match or exceed the origination effort.

One question...other than their overbearing mutual self interest, why are these two not still married? The closest thing to a reason you cite, was that the narrator wanted to explore intimacy with other men. Well, that's special. If that's the reason for them divorcing, it's good that they did! Apparently, they never had anything more than their mutual self interest to bind them. That's no foundation for anything but a barroom hook up.

And why did she not claw his eyes out when he approached her with such intimacy? She left him, right? She still has the hots for him, right? Is she not a dry at him? Why not? Are they so PC that they interact, but never deal with any issues? Aw, this just keeps getting better and better!

What the hell is going on with these two? Half of this doesn't make any sense, because you've done nothing but hinted at some things between them, but none of that plays any importance in their relationship. They have a child together and no mention beyond that fact? Is he really the father? He never asks about their child. We have no name or even gender, all that being peripheral to this most recent aberration of a seduction being the only thing on anyone's mind.

They should both be institutionalized! Extreme narcissists that they are...

I give it a generous 4 stars. I agree with the other person who said it was too short and should have included an actual sex scene. I also agree that it's confusing why this is posted in the LW category. You called his GF his wife at one point but it wasn't consistent.

She is a loving wife, they are split, but they share a child, so they are still connected.

More will be revealed with more chapters, Chapter #2 I am working on. Bree and Olivia Meet up at a bar to discuss what they will do to Matt for thinking he can get away with his selfish desires.

Writing is not easy. Excellent first start. I look forward to more of these characters and this story.

Very nice start. You have a penchant for detailed examination of the character's feelings and experiences, which should make for some very intense sex scenes. I look forward to your next post.

Mkre?