Sexual Disorientation

When they awoke, they just clung to each other as though to make sure that it hadn't all been a dream. That this happiness, which had so long eluded them, would not now somehow slip away. But the practical realities of life, full bladders, a desire for a shower, hunger, all conspired to bring them back to the real world. Susan was willing to make a concession to the bladders, provided she had aiming privileges of course. She insisted however that she had two items she wanted to attend to before any thing else. Tim was a little worried by the intensity in her voice, but he obviously agreed to hear her urgent agenda.

Susan, with a perfectly straight face and a solemn voice announced, "Tim before we can be free to start a new life together, I must end my relationship with my current lover." Tim did a double take and his heart sank. Susan reached over into the drawer of her nightstand and withdrew an impressive looking silver vibrator. "Farewell, faithful Silver Stallion," she solemnly intoned, "we have spent many evenings together but I have found a new lover to replace you, alas farewell." She gracefully tossed the vibrator into the trash can, and then she and a very relieved Tim clung to each other in gales of laughter.

"Are you sure you want to do that Susan?" laughed Tim, "I'm fairly certain he's bigger than I am."

"Maybe, but he's a lousy kisser and absolutely no good for snuggling. No I'm sure I'm keeping you."

"Well I hope you aren't expecting a similar gesture on my part," laughed Tim wiggling the fingers of his right hand, "Rosy Palm and I have been attached all my life."

"Well I'm not sure," said Susan, pretending to look thoughtful, "From what I hear about you guys, I won't be able to trust the two of you alone for ten minutes. Hmmm, on the other hand Rosy was really getting into me last night, and I do mean getting into me." She grabbed his right hand and stuck it on her breast. "Ok, here's the deal, as long as Rosy stays bi and does a good job taking care of me, she gets to stay." Tim immediately made sure that Rosy started to do a super job taking care of Susan, adding to the hilarity.

"Unfortunately," Susan said, "my second item is not as funny. I want to get back at Larry for almost destroying our chance to be together." Susan was very bitter, when she realized how near Larry came to preventing this wonderful time from ever happening. And for the pain and frustration he had inflicted on them both. "I have a great idea how to fix Larry good." She leaned over and whispered her idea to Tim.

Tim laughed, "You may look sweet, but you have a wicked side to you. Remind me never to piss you off. I love the idea, but it's outrageously far fetched. I can't believe even Larry is dumb enough to fall for it."

"Trust me, he's got that big an ego and he's that dumb. Do exactly what I say and he'll never get over it."

Monday night at work, they waited until there was no one else around and they could get Larry alone. Tim went over to where Larry was working and pretended to be working there also. A minute later Susan came by, seemingly by accident. Tim grabbed her and ordered "Come here honey, I want some loving" and yanked her onto his lap. He put one hand up under her skirt. Larry braced himself for the bloodshed.

Instead Susan meekly acquiesced, "Of course Tim, anything for you" and she wrapped her arms around his neck and passionately kissed him. Then she hopped up and politely asked "Anything else Tim?" he gestured dismissively, "If you think of anything, please let me know." And she went on about her work as though nothing had happened.

Later, Larry cornered her alone, "hey Susan, what gives, I thought you were a lesbian?

"I was Larry, I had completely given up on men, every so called man I went out with was just a pathetic little boy trying to get in my pants. They couldn't possibly begin to meet the needs of a REAL WOMAN .... Oops I'm sorry Larry, I forgot, we went out too, didn't we?"

But Tim, now he's a REAL MAN. You understand what I mean by a real man don't you?" She held her hands out to indicate a size somewhere between porno star and oh my God you're not sticking that thing in me!" Larry's eyes bugged out. "So Tim converted me back. Thanks to him I'm not a lesbian any more." She walked away making sure to use a very sexy hip action. She joined Tim who took her hand, and the happy couple left to walk home together, leaving Larry to pick up the pieces of his completely shattered male ego as best he could.