Shade's Destiny Ch. 04

The condo was quiet. I hurried to the bedroom, closed the bathroom door, stripped off the costume, turned on the shower, and searched for the phone. It was there! Hiding place? I didn't know anymore, only assume, which was dangerous. Moot point? Most likely yes!

The hot water felt so good after a long, exhausting day!! I'd gotten used to Shade's shampoo and soap. Pick your battles, ya know? I had no clue what Shade had in store for tonight. I would bet 'the usual amount' that it had something to do with Libby. But I had not clue one beyond that. I had a notion, after hearing the call, that she may well have folded her tent. But who knows! Lost in my thoughts I didn't hear the shower door open. I jumped when I felt the body against mine then smiled. I turned to my Shade and kissed her. She smiled into it and kissed me back.

"Imagine you coming to join me in my shower grasshopper!!" She laughed. "Did we have a successful sales day?"

"Funny you should ask! For some reason I felt rather juiced and the buzz carried over into my appointments. I was really on my game today lover. It was a great day! How about you?"

Dangerous waters here! I didn't know if and for sure. "Stacy and I had a real nice lunch; the rest of the day was, actually, pretty quiet. I had my work of course, but no visitors." I cocked an eyebrow. Implacable Oriental face gave me nothing to gauge. Sheesh! "You ready to share your surprise?"

"No, but if we're done here perhaps we can move this to another, more intimate, venue." We scurried from the shower to dry each other, which, of course, required oral verification! Said verification continued, in a completely different form, in bed. Let your minds wander to your hearts content!!

Somewhere along the way Kim must have wandered in because the knock on the door was followed by, "Dinner is ready!" We were next to each other, cuddling, after. Shade took my hand and we walked the table and sat. Kim looked at her sister, then me, then at her sister. She smiled. Me: shaking my head. That's how in the dark I am about sisters. My parents didn't have control of their biology and when they were born. Bits and pieces heard in hushed conversations led me to believe they wished, as had I, for a sibling for me.

Sorry. This isn't about me or about that. An absolutely delicious meal of white fish, veggies, rice, richly spiced, tasty and, best of all, someone else prepared it!!

Kim asked an obviously 'loaded' question. "How was your weekend Shade?"

Shade played her role perfectly. "Absolutely delicious! We both had a blast! Hope you did too!" Kim's eyes were on me as her sister spoke. Yeah good luck with that!! Too old!! Too smart!! Too good!! I'm giggling.

There were two plastic bags on the couch that I'd missed when we came out to dinner. Shade stood, grabbed them and led me back to the bedroom. Wigs! One was blonde, the other a redhead. When I asked she told me I wouldn't need one. She showed me how to pin up my hair and pull the wig down over it. Shrug. I'd never worn one. She had costumes, or so it seemed! Hers was tight, black, skin hugging vinyl, to just below her hips. Mine was tattered, torn scraps of denim, badly, intentionally stitched to cover what had to be but little else. Shade warned me I would not like some of what she would have me wear. She also was just as clear about why I would be so adorned. Yes, I was frightened initially. But when she explained I understood and agreed without hesitation. For the record, the adornments included cuffs, ear plugs, and a ball gag.

No, we didn't leave the condo, travel in the elevator, or walk to the car in that ensemble. Shade pulled into a darkened alley. After taking off the raincoat I sat facing the open door while Shade finished the costume for the night. Fear not!! I was completely okay with what I'd been told.

The leather hood was the scariest and last piece of the outfit. She assured me I would be able to see what I needed to see. The ball gag scared me. I couldn't begin to fathom how it could be a device someone would enjoy -- but, not my deal. Shade pulled into a lot, led me from the car to a door, some sort of introduction was made and we entered. Oh, I forgot, the leash was attached but an adjustment was made. It was turned so the rhinestones weren't front and center!! The sensed the room was dark but I could feel the buzz. I could feel Shade's presence next to me. I felt hands on my body and dimly heard her sharp tone. The hands were removed. By agreement I was to be unable to see until I needed to see what there was to be seen. Circular reference? Um, stick with me.

I could feel the difference when the stage lights came on. I heard the cheers through my muffled ears. It was probably a full minute, maybe ninety seconds, before Shade removed what covered my eyes. I saw what I saw and nearly collapsed to the floor.

Please forgive me my queasy stomach and my revulsion about what I saw that night! It sickens me, even now, to write about it. The details will be as scant as possible.

A nude male, tied with rope to a cross in an 'X' shape, was being struck with some sort of whip. It was being wielded by a woman, her face somewhat hidden behind a mask, dressed completely in a shiny black material.

Not three feet away was a naked woman in a grotesque rope harness. I have no desire to describe what I saw in great detail. Her body dangled from some sort of pulley devices, her legs in a straight line, arms tied to them. Hair in pigtails tied off at the ends, wire connecting them to something attached to her nipples. Head tilted back, she hung low enough that her mouth could do to the woman in black what I saw her do. A device, attached to a motor, thrust what I guessed was a dildo in and out of her pussy.

It took a full glass of wine to write what I just wrote. Please excuse me for a moment.

Okay, I will finish describing the horror I saw that night. The sight of the man and woman was appalling enough. It was when I realized that the woman in the mask was Elizabeth that I collapsed. Shade had braced herself enough to keep me from falling to the floor. She helped me, with the assistance of someone I never saw, from the room and to the car. I dimly heard her say whatever it was to whoever. She helped me sit in the back seat, closed the door and, after climbing in, removed the mask and the rest and held me. She maneuvered us both so we could lay next to each other. Shade held me as I sobbed. I clung to her as she soothed me.

I'm sorry. I'm not a writer. I'm just your ordinary woman. Well, sort of. I'm just me, Destiny! This is my story. Okay, our story. Aw hell. I have to save the story and head to bed. I needed to feel my honey next to me, be with who loves me and who I love. She shares my revulsion about what the night was. I HATE those who abuse others. For profit? Off with their heads!

One more thing before bed. The specifics of how I knew it was Elizabeth don't really matter. I knew it was her; Shade knew it was her. Shade brought me to that place to see that it was her and what she does, what she was doing.

A new day having burst into our bedroom, we said our good mornings, kissed, and after, had our shower and breakfast. Shared glances, smiles and such were part of our morning. The daily outfits were ever-so-subtly less ridiculous. I preferred to think about what is rather than what had been. Shade's appointments kept us from further discussion about Monday night -- which was perfectly okay with me!

Shade promised to let me know how her day was going and if we could meet for lunch, dinner or ... more. I smiled when I bade her goodbye with my kiss. Hers was warm; her tongue reminded me of the delicious pleasure that had been part of our wake up. Stacy asked if I had time for lunch. Reluctantly I begged off; her eyes showed what she felt. I shook my head; no, honey, things need to settle, especially after yesterday. Sorry!!

Shade did check in, by phone, several times during the day. I knew why; it was to see if I was okay after last night. I thought it was very sweet of her. She asked if we could have dinner together in the private room where we had lunch Sunday. I thought for a moment it was a tease -- Constance! But there was no tease in her tone. Naturally I said yes. It would be really nice to have a quiet meal together. She asked if I could take a cab and meet her. I reminded her how I was dressed. She laughed softly, told me I was being silly, and said she'd be there no later than six. We said our goodbyes. Silly? I pouted for a bit. I suppose she did have a point. I'd worn worse. I thought about writing it as 'less.' Shrug. You get my point!

I actually wished the afternoon was busier. The quiet gave me time to reflect on yesterday. Shade had arranged for me to hear the phone call with Elizabeth. (I never used her nickname again!) The entire day and night were planned for one reason: Make me aware of who and what she was. Because she loves me? I don't know that she does. I'm sure you've heard the saying: What you do speaks so loudly I can't hear your words. The arrow seemed to point in that direction!

Naturally I worried about (and for) Stacy. I'd deal with it when and if. Clearly Shade was a proactive kind of woman when it came to protecting what was hers. That was something I needed to know. Was this about Shade and Destiny? Or was it Shade and her slut? 'I love you' versus 'I own you.'

I tried to time the cab so that, allowing for rush hour traffic, I'd arrive at the restaurant about five minutes after. It was just a few minutes past that when I got out and headed in. I saw her standing talking to someone, a hostess I guessed. Shade smiled when she saw me, we kissed, and she introduced me.

"Melanie, this is my Destiny. (!) Destiny, this is Melanie Wickman." We shook hands. She looked to be an age that might make her a manager, perhaps more. Well dressed, very well applied makeup, a nice figure, simple but very pretty grey cotton dress that was well cut, some jewelry and a plain gold band on, um, that finger. Interesting!

Melanie led us to the private room and said, "You two enjoy your dinner. Your server will be with you in a moment." She smiled beautifully and closed the door behind her. We walked to the lone table. We sat, as before, side by side. Yeah I did kind of hope Constance would be back tonight. I chose to keep that to myself. Wink!

So, of course, my heart jumped when she came into the room. She smiled at both of us. Sure she did. She never took her eyes off of me! Shade, the scamp, immediately said, "Oh Connie, Destiny asked if we could come back tonight just to see you." I nearly broke my neck to glare at her. Inscrutable, she never even hinted at a smile. Constance beamed; her eyes gave evidence she got the 'joke.' Ha ha! I was the color of a fire hydrant, dammit!!

She took our drink orders. Shade ordered her dirty martini. I said, "I'll have a double of what I had Sunday!" Connie laughed out loud at that; so did Shade! Even I had to laugh. If you're beat, be the gracious loser.

Those hips, still enchanting, swished their way out the door.

"I really must arrange for the two of you to spend time together."

"I really must arrange for your slow, painful death if you do, dearest." Shade burst out laughing. Deep, from the belly, big ole laughs. Good! She thinks I'm kidding. la la la!

Connie came back with our drinks. Ever the prankster, Shade playfully said, "Connie, I wanted to arrange ... OWW!" I pinched the tender inside of her left thigh to stop her. She looked at me. "That hurt, damn you."

"Then hush, damn you!" Connie, the innocent pawn in this game, laughed and laughed as Shade and I glared at each other. Finally I broke down, laughed, and leaned in to kiss her. She tried not to, but I held her nose till she opened her mouth. It's hard for the kisser to keep a good kiss when the kissee is laughing.

The drinks having been served Connie left, still chuckling. My god she's gorgeous. I took a sip of my very large glass of chardonnay. (damn her!) I looked at Shade and said, "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. I knew it wouldn't be easy for you. But that made it even more imperative I do what I did. I couldn't risk you, not with that." It was said with scorn; the emotion showed in the way she spat out the last few words.

"I'm sorry Shade. She begged me to see her again. That night." I had to bite my lip as tears threatened. "It was nearly impossible to refuse her." I looked at her; nothing showed on her face. She was actively listening to me. I pressed on. "If you hadn't found what you did, however you did, I honestly don't know what I would have done." Oh god, there it is ... the quick flash of anger in her eyes. There, and gone, just that quickly!

She nodded slowly and said, "Yes. That's exactly what I was afraid of honey. You're still so new. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, being with another woman is still fairly new for you. It's easy for you to be attracted to a woman and ..." Whatever it was Shade let the thought pass. Stacy? Goddammit! But then why taunt me, more or less, about Connie? Because it was right there out in the open? Was she being 'dangled' as bait, a test?

Sure enough the other shoe dropped. Her voice soft, she said, "I want you to put and end to this thing with Stacy." So this was to be that night huh? Cards on the table huh? Fine!

"No Shade. We will not do this. This is not about Stacy. It's certainly not about Elizabeth. It's about you and me. How I feel about each of them is ... mine. Tell me about us. Talk to me about how you feel about me." Angry, she looked at me. "Don't you dare! For too long now you've danced around it. No, now it's time for you to push all in. Talk to me baby." The anger melted with every word I said. Her head drooped. Even so I could see her eyes fill. "Tell me. Tell your Destiny how you feel! I need to know; need to hear it!"

It was as if I could see inside her head. She ground her jaw, twisted her hands, her eyes glanced this way and that. She was fighting it. I had to keep quiet, let her figure it out. It had to come from her. Connie came back; I waved her off.

When she finally looked up her eyes were full; the tears fell. The words came in a whisper, "I love you Destiny." My god she did it! Just that quickly her eyes dropped. It's okay lover. Take your time. The words came slowly.

"My parents lost everything when the economy collapsed. Kim was just about to enter college. They had a college fund, sent her to Chicago to me, begged me to take her in. My business had taken a major hit. I figured out I could trade sex for ..." She shook her head; she didn't need to explain. "It was a weakness. I knew how to exploit but not to love." My god! This was more than ... she was sharing a very intimate part of herself.

I listened as it continued. It wasn't easy to hear; some of it curdled my insides. But I never moved, never flinched. I reached out to take her hand in mine. When the tears came I let them. When she struggled to find the right words I waited. She gave it all to me ... well, okay, maybe not. Nobody gives anybody everything about anything. Take it from one who knows! Someone you love, someone who's told you their deepest secrets? You still don't know everything. Telling you more would give you way too much about me.

There comes a point when you know the person who's talking is all done. So you wait. They will make eye contact to see if you're following, paying attention, caring. I did when she did. I gave her my biggest, brightest smile. I leaned in, kissed her, and said, "I love you Shade."

A knock on the door. I said, "Come in." Connie peeked. I said, "What we had Sunday please. Thank you!" She looked at both of us, nodded and closed the door.

Shade looked at me. I shrugged and said, "You thinking what I've been thinking? How the hell did this happen? Well hell if I know!" We both smiled. "When you mentioned Lisa it struck me as ... odd? That may not be the right word but it's how I felt then." She nodded. "Hard to say. You touched on it ... the key, the cash, little things. Yes, you have a business and a clientele." She blushed at that. "I guess the best way to express it, at least for me, is that it's cumulative. No one thing but a bunch of little things adding up." A little smirk and a nod.

"That's well said Destiny. For my part I can't honestly say when it dawned on me. There was a hard to grasp something when we made love." Those words were not said as easily as I wrote them. The last few, especially, came in sporadic, slow bursts.

Unbidden, Connie refreshed our drinks. After she left I continued, "Shade, I do love you. And I'm asking you to let me find my way with Stacy." She looked at me, clearly startled. Was she that certain I'd just back down? I took her hand, then said, "You said it yourself. This lesbian thing is still new to me. But this I know. Stacy, she's not just some crush." I knew I was fumbling awkwardly to find the right words. I decided to go for broke. "Here's the deal lover. If you push me too hard about this you'll lose me." She certainly wasn't expecting that! Her eyes, big as saucers, stared at me in something between bewilderment and disbelief.

"Surprised? Be me for a moment. New city, just divorced, no ties, no family. So you put the videos and pics on the web." I shrugged. "My phone? Yeah, there are professionals, people I'd prefer to tell face-to-face that I'm gay, but in this city? Please!" I leaned in to kiss her. No response; ice cold. I nodded, then said, "Okay. You misunderstand me Shade. I'm saying I will. I'm asking for some time, some rope, a little slack. Give me credit. I'm an adult. I told you I love you; I meant it." I paused to let it breathe then pressed on. "If my heart really is yours let me come to that free of this." I touched the collar. "Noooo ... I see by your eyes you're reading that ... maybe I said it wrong honey. The hell with the document I signed. Tear it up if you like." Oh my god - did her eyes ever get big with that! "If you want to say something please do." I kept my hand in hers but turned to take a sip of wine. And waited.

"She means that much to you?" Curiosity? Interesting.

"Yes. I don't know." I shook my head, frustrated. "She's married; she really does love her Matty." Shade smiled at that. "I know; cute huh? I don't know. That as honest as I can be." She nodded slowly, thinking about what I'd said.

"What do you want then Destiny?" Connie came in with dinner, clearly embarrassed to be interrupting again. I made eye contact with her and smiled to let her know it was okay. The tension in her shoulders eased. She put our dishes in front of us, eyed our drinks, smiled at each of us and left. "Other than her." Okay, it was funny. I still slugged her in the shoulder. We laughed. That little joke lessened the strain between us. She leaned in to kiss me.

Oh dear. Who knew there was sexual tension? (Tongue firmly in cheek) She pulled me to her. Ha! I straddled her lap; not a particularly good decision in my outfit. Snicker. She took full advantage ... as I'd hoped she would. I was quite breathless, the fish was quite cold, and I really didn't care one little bit. Yeah, I'm smiling!! I'm getting pretty good at this seduction thing I think! Wink! I snagged me a prize winning Vietnamese rainbow trout. Giggling!!

"So you want me to tear up the contract?"

"What? Have you been listening? I would just like some time to figure out how this thing with Stacy might play out? I don't guess you share well." Her eyes narrowed. "Okay, you don't share well. Maybe it's time you learn a few new tricks chickie!"