All Comments on 'Shelley & Her Afternoon Delight Pt. 01'

only thing is the guy Carol is with sounds more like a wimp than a man, but hey this is just my opinion, other than that is was a good story

Just a suggestion, you might consider, using a few less, commas. It isn’t, really, a big problem, but it does tend, to break up, in a way, the reading, as it were. I have, personally, nothing against them, really, but it causes, well, at least, to pause, reflect, and consider, how on part, of the sentence, is not ,really, connected to the rest, as it were.

Is not that the man is a wimp but he is submissive and into humiliation.

The clever twist is that the dominant and the switch are female whereas the submissive is male.

Perfectly normal in some circles!

Oh dear, too many commas. I always considered them as a pause, a breath into the lungs, then move on to the next piece of filth. Any road, I will take it on board and make sure the punctuation doesn't spoil the enjoyment of the dirty femdom and lesbian sex I’m sure you, well hope, you all enjoy. By the way I’m planning the next part of Shelley’s story just waiting for some feedback from my muse. If anyone else has an idea of where it could go I’d like to hear it.

What a super beginning. Can't wait for part 2. My self I Love to eat pussy.