Sibling Innocence Ch. 02

Janis watched as Joseph stood silently. “ Joseph, aren’t you going to say something?” Then she mouthed silently to him, “Help me, please.”

“You leave him alone!” Her father yelled at her, “Haven’t you done enough?!”

Their mother shot him an angry look, “It’s not entirely Janis’ fault!”

“She should’ve known better! She’s the oldest!” His father walked over to Joseph. “Go to work, we’ll talk when you get home.”

Joseph walked out of the bathroom and entered his bedroom. Janis watched him leave her alone and tried not to cry.

“Get dressed, Jan.” Her mother hissed and both parents walked out of the bathroom.

Janis walked to the bathroom door and looked down the hall. Joseph’s bedroom door was shut. She closed and locked the bathroom door and sat on the tiled floor. Through her sobbing she could still hear her mother and father yelling at each other somewhere in the house. A few minutes later she listened as Joseph’s door opened. Seconds later she heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. Janis stood and wiped her tears.

“Joseph?” She whispered through the closed door. She put her hand on the knob. Suddenly her father yelled.

“Joseph, go to work!”

Janis heard soft footsteps walk away from the bathroom door, then the front door opened and slammed shut. She suddenly felt very alone.

~

That night was by far the worst night at work Joseph ever had. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and had to spend most of the time away from his co-workers. They were obviously concerned about him and everyone had asked if he was okay. Joseph had called in sick for his three previous shifts and now, back at work, looked horribly ill. His boss finally sent him home after four hours of torture. Joseph wasn’t sure he wanted to go home.

When he arrived and walked to the front door he noticed the house was dimly lit except for the light in the kitchen. He opened the front door and quietly walked into the house. He made his way to the kitchen and heard voices. First his mother’s, then Janis’, then his father’s, then Janis again. She was being drilled. He slowly walked closer until he could see the three of then sitting at the table. His mother and father had their backs to him, but he could see Janis’ face. Her cheeks were red and her eyes puffy. She had obviously been crying for some time.

He took another step and the floor creaked slightly. All three looked back at him.

“Joseph!” Janis stood and ran to him. She threw her arms around him and Joseph hugged back. She buried her head into his shoulder and Joseph felt the wet heat of her teary cheeks.

“Stop it!” Their father stood up fast causing the chair he was in to fall crashing to the floor. “What did we just talk about?!” He stomped over to them and physically separated their embrace causing Janis to fall to the floor.

“Don’t hurt her!” Their mother was now standing and walking over to Janis. She helped Janis back to her feat and turned to Joseph, “We’ve been talking to Jan about this… you need to stay away from her.”

“You can’t keep us apart!” Janis screamed at her.

“We can and will!” Their father screamed back.

Janis looked at Joseph who was standing against the wall now, looking confused. “They want to send us to a shrink, Joseph.”

“What?” Joseph finally spoke.

His mother walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Because you are both confused. You may feel like you love her, but it’s just not right Joseph.”

“We are both adults, mother, you can’t tell us what’s right and wrong anymore!” Janis fought against the anger that stirred inside her belly, but she was starting to loose the fight.

Her father scowled at her, “You are still our children and you will do what we say if you are to live under our roof!”

Janis lowered her head and sighed. She felt ashamed that at twenty years old her parents still had control of her life. They gave her a home and paid for her education. She was unable to gain her own independence while relying on them so much.

“We’ll talk after you meet with Dr. Sanders.” Their father walked down the hall. “Go to bed, we’ll wake you both up in the morning.” He stood between their bedrooms and motioned for them to follow.

Joseph noticed something odd as he walked to his bedroom, the doorknob has been replaced with one that had a lock. He looked closer and saw the lock was on the outside of his room. Joseph looked around and saw his father forcing Janis into her room. Once she was in his father slammed the door and turned the lock. It clicked and now Janis was locked inside.

“What is this?” Joseph asked. His mother had walked down the hall and faced him.

“We have to control your behavior to make sure this doesn’t happen anymore.”

His father waved his hand toward Joseph’s room. “This is for your own good, hopefully you will realize how sick and wrong it is for you to be sexual with your sister.”

Joseph walked into his bedroom and turned to face his parents, “You can’t do this… what if I have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night?”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” His father slammed the door.

Joseph heard the click as his father locked the door to his room. Joseph grabbed the knob and tried to turn it. He was locked in. He listened through the wall and could hear his sister crying. This was going to be the longest night of his life.

~

Janis and Joseph were both woken up fairly early the next morning. Neither had gotten much sleep. After an awkward breakfast and an even more awkward car ride they found themselves in the office of Dr. Sanders. They both knew Dr. Sanders, he was a counsel for their parents back when it seemed as though they might get a divorce. He helped their parents to straighten things out, somehow, and their mother and father had remained married.

“Well, it’s nice to see both of you again.” Dr. Sanders spoke from behind his desk. Janis and Joseph sat in chairs that had once been side by side, but now obviously separated by a couple of feet. “So, who wants to speak first?”

They both sat silent.

“Well, I guess I can start with you, Janis. What do you want to talk about?”

Janis looked at him and saw a gaze that seemed half concerned and yet half intrusive. “Our parents caught us together and they freaked out.”

“It seems understandable, Janis. Can you blame them?”

“Yes I can blame them,” she stood and walked over to Joseph, grabbing his hand. “I can blame them for getting in the way!”

“In the way of what?”

“In our way!”

The doctor walked around to the front of his desk and rested himself on the edge. “Janis, you are forcing your family against each other. Can that be right?”

“I don’t want to hear what you people tell me is right!” Janis squeezed Joseph’s hand tighter. “I am an adult… and Joseph is an adult! What is right and wrong in our lives should be decided by us!”

“Janis, this is not a trial here. You really don’t have to be hostile.”

She managed to calm herself down a little. Janis released Joseph’s hand and sat back down in her chair. She looked over at Joseph and saw him looking back at her. He hadn’t spoken a word this entire time in Dr. Sander’s office. Janis felt a little betrayed by his silence.

“Joseph…” She spoke to her brother, “I’m getting a bit frustrated at you being so quiet all the time. Can’t you please help me?”

“I’m scared, okay!” His voice trembled, “I didn’t expect this!”

“What did you think would happen when people found out about us?”

“I didn’t think they would ever find out!” Joseph shuffled nervously in his chair. He was upset at himself for letting Janis down once again, but he felt completely unprepared for any of this. He really never took the time to think about what would happen if they had been discovered. In fact, he was still angry that Janis had been so quick to confess about their secret love.

Dr. Sanders approached Janis, “Maybe it would be easier for me to speak to you both one at a time.”

“No,” Janis stood again, “I want Joseph here.”

“Well, I was thinking of talking to Joseph alone first.” He turned to Joseph and walked to his chair. “What do you think, Joseph? Will you talk to me alone?”

Joseph immediately looked over to Janis and saw her shaking her head at him. “I don’t know…”

“It will be okay,” The doctor continued, “you’re not in any trouble here. I just want to help you.” Dr. Sanders reached out and put his hand on Joseph’s shoulder.

Joseph looked at the doctor’s hand resting on his right shoulder and again looked up at Janis. Her face still said no, but she wasn’t shaking her head anymore. “I guess it would be okay.”

“Janis…” Dr. Sanders released his hand from Joseph’s shoulder and spoke to her, “Why don’t you wait outside for a few minutes while I talk to your brother?”

Janis reluctantly walked toward the door of the office and stopped briefly to look back at Joseph. She frowned at him and walked out slamming the door behind her. She walked to a row of waiting chairs and sat on the one closest to the office door. She hoped she would be able to hear the voices inside, but the door was too thick. Janis felt like crying again, but she held back. She didn’t want to let go, not right now.

~

“So what your saying is… your relationship with your dad has always been good, but you have always felt very distant from your mom?” Dr. Sanders questioned Joseph.

“That is what I have always felt.” Joseph had spent the better part of an hour in Dr. Sander’s office. He answered question after question as honestly as he could. The main focus of the doctor’s questions was not about Janis, but surprisingly more about his relationships with his parents. He mentioned to Dr. Sanders that he had always been very close to his father, but had never really felt loved by his mother. His mother, however, was always very close to Janis and Joseph felt left out of his mother’s life. Dr. Sanders really seemed to know what he was talking about.

“Joseph, this is not an unusual situation.” The doctor rested on the front of his desk facing Joseph. He crossed his arms and spoke to him with years of knowledge, “Cases of incest have been the most predominate cases that I’ve had to work with and recent studies show that sibling incest probably occurs the most, but it is also the least likely to be reported.”

Joseph nodded his head but failed to understand. He questioned the doctor, “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that any kind of incest can cause problems in a person’s life, and even be completely detrimental to some. The cases of incest that are usually reported involve parents and their children, but cases involving siblings being sexually active with each other hardly ever get reported. That is not to say, however, that these cases don’t have the same negative effect on someone that parent-child incest does. Sibling incest is probably the most common, but out of fear, or out of love, the victims of sibling incest rarely come forward.”

“I am in love with Janis… I don’t feel anything wrong about what I feel.” Joseph didn’t like what he was hearing. His love for her was different than some statistic could define.

“I don’t expect you to feel wrongly about what you have done,” Dr. Sanders continued, “But, could it be possible that what you desire from Janis could be a direct result of the fact that you never felt loved by your mother. Your mother obviously loves Janis very much, and maybe your subconscious feels that by being so intimate with your sister may replace the absence of love your mother never gave you? Maybe you feel that through Janis you will finally be able to acquire your mother’s love.”

Joseph lowered his head almost down to his knees. He rubbed his head with his hand trying to take in the observations the doctor had given him. Dr. Sanders made sense, Joseph couldn’t dismiss that. He felt so right being with his sister, but the doctor was fiercely punching holes in Joseph’s mind.

Dr. Sanders saw the confusion overwhelm Joseph and knew he was on the right track. “What do you think about Janis? Do you wonder now that maybe the lack of love your father gave her might have caused her to seek his love through you? Your father had given you his love, but it seems as though he really put you first and maybe loved her second.”

“I really don’t know what to think about all this,” Joseph mumbled, “I guess you must be right.”

“So the key must be, Joseph, to fix the broken relationship with your parents. Specifically the mother that was so cold towards you most of your life.”

Joseph’s eyes began to water. “How can I do that?” His voice trembled.

Dr. Sanders knelt next to Joseph’s chair and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I can help you. Will you let me help you?”

Joseph nodded yes and the tears finally broke through. “What about Janis?”

“I’ll talk with her and then we’ll all talk together with your parents here. This situation isn’t totally your problem or Janis’. It must involve the entire family in order for the healing to begin.”

~

Janis had been sitting patiently for the better part of an hour. She was dying to know what was being said in that office. Finally she had forced herself to calm down a bit when suddenly the door flew open.

“Joseph!” Janis stood and faced her brother. The look on his face was wrong. No expression was visible. He seemed blank, robot-like in his gaze. Janis could only imagine what sort of mind-control techniques this doctor has used on him. Even his eyes seemed empty. “What’s wrong?”

He just stared at her shaking his head. Janis knew the doctor had gotten to him. Joseph started to walk toward her and Janis opened herself a little expecting him to embrace her maybe, but he didn’t. Instead his eyes left hers as he walked right by and headed for the exit.

“Where are you going?!” Janis turned to watch him open the front door. He paused for a second and finally turned to face her.

“Sorry,” was all he could say. He walked outside and very softly, almost without any sound, shut the door behind him.

“Are you ready, Janis?”

She turned and saw Dr. Sanders now standing in his office doorway.

~

As expected, things that evening at home were horrendously awkward. Janis and Joseph now sat at the dinner table at opposite sides. Neither looked at each other but chose to stare down at the barely-eaten food on their plates. Nobody spoke, not even their parents. No one seemed all that hungry tonight. Everyone poked and prodded at their portion of chicken casserole hoping it would magically eat itself.

It did not go well for the doctor during Janis’ session. He had given her the same spiel about the loveless parents and her somehow finding the love she was missing in the wrong place. She didn’t buy into it. She thought the whole speech was crap. “Daddy didn’t love me,” she had said, “so I guess I’ll screw my brother.” It didn’t make sense, any of it.

“Of course,” Dr. Sanders had replied, “this will not be easy to accept. Not until you are at least willing to admit how wrong your actions have been.”

“Is this what you told Joseph? Did he buy all this?”

“Joseph seemed eager to correct his mistakes.”

That last word had hurt Janis. Is that what Joseph had said? Did he think it was all a mistake? She envisioned herself as the monster imposing her will on her brother. No… she wasn’t. He wanted her just as much, right?

“The only mistake,” she had finally said, “was getting caught.”

“What did you expect, Janis? To be with Joseph forever? To get married? Have his children?”

“I don’t want to talk about that, doctor.” She had spoken the word doctor with such sarcasm in her voice that Dr. Sanders almost winced.

Never did she accept what he was saying, nor did she even care. The truth was they got caught. And the only reason she was talking to the doctor was fear of what her parents would do. She lived under their roof, they paid for her school. They would probably disown her if she didn’t do what she was told now. Janis had made all this very clear to Dr. Sanders during the hour-long session. By the end he seemed frustrated. Worn out even.

Janis now managed to look up from her dinner plate. She saw Joseph staring at his food and she quickly looked away. Their parents had been remarkably quiet most of the night and she didn’t want to start it all up again by being caught staring at her brother.

“I’m going to bed.” Janis started to get up from the table when her mother stopped her.

“Finish your food.”

“I’m really not very hungry, mom.”

“At least eat your vegetables.”

“I’m not ten years old, mom! I don’t want to eat!”

“Do what you’re told!” Her dad snapped.

“Fine.” Janis set the plate back down and tried to force the mushy, warm broccoli into her mouth.

“Joseph,” their father spoke again, “I want you to pack up as much as you can and be ready to go in an hour.”

“Where am I going?” Joseph looked up from his plate.

“I don’t think this is such a good idea.” Their mother said, visibly upset.

“Where am I going?” Joseph asked again.

“We already talked about this, let’s not change our minds again.” The father speaking to the mother while ignoring Joseph’s question again.

“We never really agreed on anything!” Their mother yelled, “I don’t want anyone to leave!”

“Where am I going?!” Joseph screamed.

“Where is he going?!” Janis repeated. Her voice got the attention of the whole family. Now all eyes were on her and she couldn’t ignore the anger in the faces of her parents.

“You just keep out of this, Janis.” The father spoke. “This is all your damn fault anyway.”

“What?!” Janis was furious.

“I guess Joseph will be staying with Uncle Jesse for a while.” The mom was speaking quietly again.

“For how long?” Joseph asked.

“Until things return to normal around here,” father responded. “Until you two learn the difference between right and wrong.”

“Oh that’s right,” Janis clenched up with anger, “we’re stupid little kids that have no idea of right and wrong.”

“That’s it!” Their father stood up and slammed his palms on the table. He slowly leaned in to where Janis was sitting, locking eyes with her. “You know what’s right?” He spoke quietly, but as if holding all of hell’s rage somewhere behind his clenched teeth. “You know what’s right? Fucking your brother… is that right? Your mom and I did not work our asses off trying to raise a good family only to have this sort of bullshit going on behind our backs. Just what the fuck has gotten into you two?”

Janis was trembling with fear. She could not look into her father’s eyes anymore. When she glanced away she saw the same terror on her mother’s face. Never has anyone heard her father talk like that before, with such language and an almost murder-like inflection in his voice.

“It’s okay,” Joseph added softly, “I’ll go. I will pack my things right now and go.” He got up from the table and started to walk away.

“No Joseph,” Janis looked at him then met her father’s angry gaze again. “I’ll go.” She had to get out of there, somehow. She felt threatened and had to retreat. She understood immediately what she was saying, what she was about to do. Janis will lose everything, her home, her education, her family. Was it worth it? Maybe her own stubbornness was preventing her from seeing the larger picture.

“You’re not going anywhere,” her mother said, “Uncle Jesse is expecting Joseph to stay with him.”

“I wasn’t planning on going to Uncle Jesse’s house.”

“Where, then?” Her father asked. “Where will you go?”

“None of your business.”

“You’ll be back…”

“Don’t plan on it!” Janis stood and walked fast, away from the table, past Joseph and towards her room. She heard her father yelling at her but ignored it.

“You’ll come back, and when you do you will find nothing here for you! No forgiveness, ever! We don’t have a daughter…” his voice trailed off as Janis slammed the door shut in her bedroom. She started to cry but never stopped moving, quickly snatching the suitcase out of her closet and stuffing as much clothes out of her dresser and closet that she could into it.